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Downsouthdevil
19-08-11, 17:43
Hi everyone,

As my last post may have indicated I am currently suffering HA regarding having VCJD. I spend most of the time convinced that I have i this disease. I have been to the Docs on many occassions and he is certain I have HA. I have been prescribed Miritazapine which has helped lift my mood. This has been going on for about 7 weeks now, I went from being fine- feeling happy and normal, to a blubbering, fearful and depressed wreck within 10 days all thanks to Google.

I have experienced a large number of physical and mental and emotional symptoms- word finding problems, light headiness, fear, pins and needles, aches and pains, and continous muscle twitching. I have even noticed my limbs jerking involuntarily.

However, over the weeks I have not deteriorated particuarly, in fact I am in a better state of mind now than 5 weeks ago when I could not leave my wifes side, was scared to be alone and would not leave the house. Im back to work and am able to function as a normal human being.

But, I cant stop checking myself- waiting for the next tingle, paranoid everytime I twitch, hating the pain (always fairly mild) behind my eyes. Standing on one foot to see if I lose balance. I HATE THIS.

Today I have read about the standard Neurological examination- and I have found myself conducting it at several points during my day on myself (WHY??? ITS NOT LIKE I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE RESULTS ANYWAY).

I started with ROMBERGS TEST, and noticed that with my feet together and eyes facing forward and arms down by myside I can stand fine. When I close my eyes, there is a slight swaying motion (I MEAN VERY SLIGHT) but I never lose my balance. This is a good sign right.

I then do the toe to ankle tandem walk. I struggle at this in bare feet and do look malco-ordinated. (This panics me and a cycle of HA starts again). However I do have a weak ankle on my left side, and it struggles to support my weight. So I compose myself and do it again, this times with shoes on, this time my co-ordination is much better and I can do it fine. SURELY THIS TEST DOES NOT NEED TO BE BAREFOOT?

Then I try the finger out stretched and touching nose test, fine with eyes open, fine with eyes closed. GOOD SIGN RIGHT?

Finally I try to sit down and outstretch my legs, I use the ball of my right ankle and rub it down my lower leg from below the knee to my foot, repeating this motion quickly, and suceeding on both legs.

I then walk around the room on tip toes and on the ball of my ankles, no problems. I HAVE PASSED MY OWN NEUROLOGICAL EXAM- GOOD TIMES, I MUST BE OK?

Im happy for a few hours, get on with work, then it hits me, Im not a Neurologist, so how do I know everything is fine??? WORRY WORRY WORRY. I know a good solution--- I will do it all again, and again and again.

Im exhausted, will it ever stop?

Davinci817
19-08-11, 23:11
I'd be exhausted after the tests you put yourself through too. :D Since you are kind of new to this, my suggestion would be to change the topic/subject and move on to something different. Try reprogramming your thinking. Do some deep breathing techniques when you start to stray to thoughts of your body being ill. The medicine should kick in really well soon and hopefully you can move on from this old nasty stuff.

stacy1912
14-09-11, 09:23
Hi there

I am on mirtazapine and I twitch ALOT and also get alot of muscular pain and fatigue. Like you I think and feel it is neurological damage (extensive consultation with Dr Google!!) and EVERY day I do the standard neuro tests you have mentioned.....tip toe walking and heel walking along with all the others and get reassured that I am ok...for a short time! GP thinks it is stress by the way!

I am now trying to accept that at the moment I am anxious (fact) nothing indicates any major problem (fact) and guessing what I might have is ridiculous! I have spent months thinking I have motor neurone disease due to the twitching and that is a waste of my time. I have also thought I want tests to rule out my latest fear but if I have them and they are ok, I will soon jump on to the next physical sensation and off I go again!

If you put twitching in the search on no more panic it comes up with over 1000 posts, now that makes me think it is anxiety and not anything else. Blooming Dr Google needs shooting!!

Take care