Wedding nerves getting out of control!

[JEdge]

Hi - just to say hello and introduce myself. I am 34 years old - have a lovely daughter and partner and live in Wales. I have had various degrees of anxiety / panic over the past 8 years and have more of a social anxiety now. In short - I am getting married in 8 weeks and it has just hit me what I have to do (not the marrying part but the social part). I am petrified of walking down the aisle and standing up and saying my vows. I seem to have a chip in my head telling me that I will work myself up into a state and either pass out or throw up on the big day! I know its ridiculous but I'm sure sufferers will understand the power of the mind working against you! Friends have told me to have a good drink beforehand or 'pop a pill' but I want to try and remember the day. So any tips would be wonderful - I think with me its a confidence thing - if I could feel and more over 'believe' in the confidence then that would go a long way but negativity is always stronger.
Anyhow - hello again and help would be great!
Jo

[hayles]

Hey Jo,

I know how you feel. I am getting married in 8 weeks saturday....8th july. I am ok about the whole vows and stuff coz I dont suffer social anxiety, but I do worry immensely
about throwing up or passing out through out the day.

Also my family are a nightmare (divorced parents)
and the thought of everyone in the same room makes me feel physically ill.

i am sorry I can t offer any real advice but what I can offer is
that you are not alone.

Kepe in touch...PM me, it would be nice to share worries
as the day come nearer....what day are you getting married?

Big Smiles and deep breaths....lol

Hay x

[JEdge]

Hello Hay
Yes - mines the same day - I'm usually ok in social situations but I tend to get a bit overwhelmed like you say with everyone in the same room but my partner is very supportive.
We did initially talk about going away the 2 of us but we changed the plans at the last minute. I really want to enjoy the day as we are paying for it and its meant to be enjoyable but you know how you build yourself up to these things!
Anyhow - I will log in and mail when I can - evenings are a bit tricky but keep me posted to how you're doing.
Thanks again
Jo

[shiv]

Oh my goodness. Wedding troubles must be in the water! I'm getting married in just over 11 weeks and everything seems to be going horrendously wrong.

Firstly I've had to change my reception venue at the last minute (ie last week!) because I hadn't done my homework and the place had no disabled access and I have a 22 yr old brother in a wheelchair with muscular distrophy. Secondly there's a lot of disagreements going on in my family at the moment. Then thirdly, the bombshell today: my partner phoned his sister today and she announces that her holiday is booked over our wedding and that we hadn't told her the dates. Well, I know that we DID and she should have asked us before booking her holiday. She has a high post at Virgin (as in the airline) and I know she could change her arrangements quite easily but she won't budge. Well my fiance is very close to her and what makes it worse is that he has no other family going because he and his sister are completely estranged from them. ( They're just HORRIBLE people and that is probably not strong enough to describe them!).

So basically he will have NO family at the wedding at all and to be honest I'm very worried about him. He's absolutely devastated.

So Jo, I completely understand that this is getting to you. Because we just want our weddings to be perfect and to top it off when you have an anxiety disorder it just casts a huge shadow over the whole thing doesn't it.

Well now I'm thinking, s*d it. I WILL enjoy my day because it only happens once. Well Jo, I think maybe just try some breathing exercises before you go. Do you have time to maybe go and have a massage in the morning before hand?

Remember, it's YOUR day and try to focus on you and your hubby to be. Anyway, I hope it all goes well for you.

Good luck

Shiv x

[jackie]

hello and welcome

if you look in the meeting up (get together) section you will see there are alot of people from wales some of whom are planning a get together soon. have a look you never know you could feel righ tat home with them. in your own time of course

congratulations on the big day im sure youll do just fine. youre among friends now

take care

jackie

[Alexandra]

Hellos

Jo & Hay & also Shiv too congrats on your forth coming weddings. Mine is 12 weeks away. If any of you want to chat then please feel free to pm me.

Its going to be just fine Jo (we can be all excited & nervous together)

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[hayles]

Hey Everyone,

Jo, Shiv, Alex.
Oh my god how many of us getting married in a few weeks.
It's crazy madness....lol
Maybe we should set up a wedding thread.....just to post our thoughts, worries and excitments!

What do you think?
Anyway good luck to everyone and myself (Christ knows I need it)....lol

Speak to you all soon xxxxx

Hay x

[feege]

I just want to say congratulations and good luck to all of you!!!

Weddings can be the most emotional time for everyone concerned - my son got married last year. His wife has leukaemia and they had to cancel their wedding the year before and got married while she was in remission (have a look at my link below if you want to know more).

I know it's completely different but it was absolutely terrifying for me as the mother of the groom, two ex husbands present, all the intensity of the wedding because of my daughter in law's illness. I absolutely adore both of them.

I had to sit next to my son's dad who I hadn't seen for about 8 years, all dressed up like a dog's dinner (not my style lol!) and my other ex came with his new wife and baby and I thought my heart would break over it all... I felt so so lonely!!

Sitting waiting for Sarah to come down the aisle I just shook from head to foot.... but suddenly the reality of the whole thing hit me and I was so overjoyed I forgot all my anxieties and panics for the whole of the rest of the day and had an amazing time!!!!

My son and daughter in law were both really anxious about it all for weeks before but didn't even think about any of that on the day - they were just so utterly focussed on each other and their joy at actually being able to get married!

I honestly believe that getting married is something that two people do and the rest of the world is irrelevant and that will be how you will feel on the day. Nothing matters except that you become husband and wife - all the fuss and fripperies will just fade away and mean nothing at all.

Most importantly just keep your sense of humour - things will and do go wrong but the wedding is a matter of minutes and so long as it happens you will be happy!!!!

I'm sure you can really support each other and the rest of us will be looking forward to seeing the pics!!!

lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
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[india]

Hello there! Well i got married 8 years ago, and can still remember the dramas! I can remember going to the doctors in floods of tears thinking i couldn't do it, will have to cancel etc etc. Well i DID do it in the end and it was amazing! ( i think i had some beta blockers tho!) In fact i think my groom was more nervous than me in the end! Weddings are very stressfull, and families always squabble (my husband and mother in my case!) My non panicing friend is getting married in two weeks and shes in a right old state!

I know you'll be fine on the day even if the build up (which is the worst bit) seems horrendus. JFDI!!!!

Love India xxx

[JEdge]

Wow - thanks so much all - what a relief and great to know I don't feel completely alone (not that I wish these feelings on anyone but we're all human heh?).
A wedding thread sounds a great idea - I've no idea how to set that up so if you can sort that please let me know and keep me in the loop (if you don't get this message then I'll post it as a new one).
It would be a great shame to let nerves etc. completely override what should be a lovely day so maybe some positive thinking now over the next few weeks to the build up to our days eh?
Anyhow - please keep in touch - would be great.
LOL JO x

[Alexandra]

Hi Jo,

The Wedding thread is in the misc section of the board.

Hun you really are not alone we can get through this all together okay.

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart