Anxiety has made me a liar

[shinderuko]

Ever since my anxiety problems started I've begun to notice myself lying more and more. I'm not saying I never did before but now it's always over such petty things.
I lie on an almost daily basis now, from simple things such as saying 'I'm fine' or pretending to be excited about things to skipping work and telling my family I'd been in and telling my friend I had to work late so I could get out of going to a festival with her (something I am now kicking myself over).
I feel like such a fraud for being so dishonest with the people I'm closest too but I can't seem to stop myself from doing it. I suppose it's almost as if the lies are easier to cope with than having to admit I'm struggling to even like myself at the best of times.
I guess I just wondered if I was the only one who feels like living with anxiety is like living with a habitual liar.

[baileys]

I know what you are saying. I spend everyday lying to people so they don't find out that i have problems.
Im a lot older than you, i am trying to work on this with my counsellor.
Maybe it would be an idea for you also to get some help to find out why you don't trust people enough to tell them that you need their help.

[shinderuko]

I'm not sure if is a case of not trusting people, I think with my family it's not wanting to be a burden. And with other people maybe it's because I'm scared they're going to judge me. I'm still battling with my GP to get some sort of professional help

[M155anthr0p3]

I lie...all the time..
Not maliciously but the same as you...say I'm fine when I'm screaming inside.
I think we all "lie" to a certain extent.

I like to call them fibs!

Emily xxx

[shinderuko]

I guess we do all lie but I feel so guilty afterwards. Especially when I'm pretending to go into work instead of admitting I can't manage it :(

[M155anthr0p3]

If you can't manage work then you do need to go speak to the doctor, you don't want to lose your job. I've had so much time off work (before I admitted there was a problem). I'm lucky I have an understanding boss.

You'll find your way, but you have to want to.

Good luck!

Emily xxx

[baileys]

I'm not sure if is a case of not trusting people, I think with my family it's not wanting to be a burden. And with other people maybe it's because I'm scared they're going to judge me. I'm still battling with my GP to get some sort of professional help
You say that you are struggling to like yourself which indicates to me that you dont think people would want to help you, you may need help with that so you dont feel so alone with it all.

[shinderuko]

I've been to the doctor twice this week but he's on holiday at the moment. I really don't want to lose my job at all, I've only just started it!
Baileys maybe you're right, I guess it's harder to see it when you're looking at yourself

[M155anthr0p3]

Maybe you need to have a chat with your boss, it would be completely confidential.
At least then they will have an understanding of why you've taken time off.

Don't be so hard on yourself xxx

[shinderuko]

I will have a word with her next time I'm in. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself.
Thank you for your advice :) x

[evil monkey]

I think there's some mileage in telling people the information they need, to get on with both your days. Even just positive interaction can help. x

[CrazyC]

I used to be the same but the best thing i ever did was let people in and see the real me. Now i dont feel so pressured and if i have to cancel they understand and dont moan or expect so much.