jealousy

[snowgoose]

Not a pity post honest .........just need to offload friends :blush:
I am jealous today .not a nice emotion but I am .
I havent dealt with my long standing anxiety well at all over the years so naturally my lads now enjoy holidays ,meals out ,confidances etc with their in laws . really lovely people and I like them. and it is so good that everyone gets on so well .................but ...........
I am on the outside looking in ..........my own fault of course .........dont like social outings etc .......a bit flaky I guess in their eyes :blush:....emotional.

was not always like this ............took the kids to London and all over when they were young :)..........but lost it in their teens and never got myself back really again. some good years in between but never quite the same mum again .

I know I will always be their mum and try hard to make my time with them loving and pleasant ..........but the closeness has gone to another family now naturally and I am sad about that and wish I could turn clock back .

hey ho .......got a lot to be grateful for I know honestly .it has helped to type .
just sometimes you see how it should be without the damn anxiety on your shoulder poking you ....making all the family aware as well and spoiling things .
ah .feel better now :hugs:

[Irisheyes]

hi i have two small children and am on setraline with constant head pressure its so awful and i feel im not giving 100 percent of me....make me feel so bad...i had a breakdown...im irish in england no support or family here and my partner left me in the middle of it....i hope ...we can both not be so hard on ourselves with me its started with a major panic attack...i am 5 months trying to find the right med as i had very bad allergic reactions..Linda x

[debs71]

Hi Snowgoose....

Don't feel at all guilty about this emotion. For the record, I think it is completely natural, and I would be so bold as to say, probably very common amongst anxiety/mental health sufferers......me for one!

I look at other people sometimes....even some people very close to me, and how happy they appear, what they have and what they have achieved and it sticks in my craw that my life has been plagued by anxiety which I see as having held me back from so much.....and yes, I feel jealous too.

I feel like one of lifes losers pretty much on a daily basis.

I think as a Mum that must be tough, and it is totally normal and understandable to feel that way. I think that all we can do really is look forwards if we can, and not backwards with the huge regret that often comes with it.

It is very hard though sometimes, I know.

I bet you are a great, supportive Mum anyway, going by the compassion and help you offer people here every day.....

Big hugs of support to you.xxx:bighug1:

[snowgoose]

thank you Linda for your reply :)
so sorry you are struggling alone ...that must be very hard . is there any way you could go back home to Ireland for a while to get some family support ?
I hope the meds help soon .............it is hard with little ones at best of times .
:hugs:...........we try us mums xx

thank you Debs
you are so right and wise ............we have to look forward or we will forever live in regret . And I found it helpful to see outside the box and realise that we all have jealousy :blush:.........not just me .
I remember a wise elder saying to me the past has gone .the future is conjecture ...........now is all we have......... so live well .
thank you for your words ....hope you ok
:hugs: