Am I an Alcoholic or is this more Health Anxiety?

[MandySlade]

I work in a bar. Recently a woman I work with who is 32 (I'm 31 myself) was admitted to the hospital with severe pancreatitis. After two days in the hospital (and without alcohol) she began to suffer from -very- serious alcohol withdrawl. She is having the DTs, really bad hallucinations, seizures, etc. She is still in the hospital and is on medication to help her recover. Now, this is a woman who drank nearly all day every day. That being said, it has me worried and phobic about my own drinking. I have about 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine a night 3 or 4 days a week and then 3 or 4 days a week I will have about 6-8 drinks total (including hard alcohol). It used to be more like 2 drinks a night 5 nights a week and then 2 nights a week I'd get snackered... but the last few months it's been more often due to a combination of stress (planning my wedding), and more friends going out more often. Now, when I'm at work, ironically enough, I almost -never- drink. I -could- if I wanted to... I'm allowed... I just don't ever want to. Part of it is that I work during the day and part of it is that it's just never seemed fun to me to get drunk at work. However, since I've been drinking this way for over 10 years I'm getting worried about it's overall effect on me. I'm also scared that if I cut back I'll get some horrific type of withdrawl or suffer brain damage. And, most of all what bothers me, is I don't -want- to cut back. I enjoy drinking. It doesn't interfere with my work, my relationships, I'm rarely hungover (maybe twice a month), etc. So, I'm just wondering based on what you guys think based on what I've said here. My fiance says I'm crazy and that "we may like to drink, but we are definitely not that bad" or he will say "I guess technically you could call us functional alcoholics, but we'd have to do a lot more to do real damage". Given that he's fairly laid back about health concerns and I'm...well.... the extreme opposite... I don't know what to think. I feel like I don't have the ability to judge correctly for myself anymore when it comes to my health. Atferall, I've seen doctors for countless "silly" things and had a few tests I didn't need. :unsure:

Opinions?

[nimbos]

Hi Mandy – I am an alcoholic and haven’t had a drink for almost 17yrs so I do have some idea about this. I suppose the first thing to say is that no one else can diagnose you an alcoholic – only you can do that. But there are a few signs that can help. I remember one of the first things that made sense to me was if booze is costing you more than money then you probably have a problem. Another thing is that alcoholism isn’t about quantity of quality of what you drink but the affect it has on you and your personality.
For what it’s worth, going by what you say in your post I don’t see any of the telltale signs of alcoholism. I’d say your anxiety is going into overdrive. If your are really worried I would suggest that you go along to an open AA meeting and listen to what’s being said. There is bound to be one nearby. Believe me that then you’ll know if you have a problem or not.
Take care

[cassy1989]

I don't want to worry you but you are drinking too much. On the drink aware web site it says women should not regularly drink more then 2-3 units a day (the equivalent to a 175mls glass of wine) which obviously you are having more of.
It doesn't matter whether or not you drink as soon as you wake up, if you feel your self relying on alcohol you do need help.
It doesn't sound like you're that bad and I doubt you have done any damage yet but you could do damage.
You have recognised some thing may be wrong though and thats really good. I would talk to your doctor if I was you.
I only know about alcoholism because my brother is a recovering alcoholic (he drunk a lot more then you, he was drinking about 3 bottles of cider a day and some times vodka!)

But please do see your doctor before it gets any worse. Good luck xx

[MandySlade]

:(

[Anxious_gal]

the thing with alcoholism is no one starts off as an alcoholic, they develop a problem with drink and then it spirals out of control,
Alcoholics often say the first time they got drunk they fell in love with alcohol or it was the best feeling in the world.

Most alcoholics recommend tapering off the alcohol much like you would do with medication, before fully stopping, as it can lead to seizures and heart attacks.

wow your drinking habits may be common but is pretty much the same path alcoholics have followed,
you are self medicating with drink, you drink when you are stressed, that a pretty big red flag !
Drinking to sleep is also another big red flag,
Looking forward to a drink after a hard day, as in can't wait to get home so you can drink is a red flag!

I hate to say it but the fact you do not want to stop is a bi deal, thing with most alcoholics they do sorta want to stop but they wake up every day thinking oh I'll stop tomorrow but then they never do :(

I've seen posts like your before, and it often ends with the person saying oh well it's not a problem now, I'll stop if it becomes a problem.... but then the problem is that they can't stop, they are too deep into it by the time alcohol actually becomes a problem.

http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/
Many alcoholics use this method to taper off the drink.

""Alcoholism is a 2 part disease. The first part occurs when you drink alcohol - you get a craving for more when you drink, a craving for more alcohol, as if no amount of alcohol is enough. The second part occurs when you stop - a mental obsession to get a drink.
The only remedy for the first part is to never take another drink (you cannot get drunk if you never take another drink). The remedy for the second part is harder - the 12 Step program detailed in the 1939 book "Alcoholics Anonymous" is the only way I've found that effectively treats the mental obsession once you stop.
In answer to your question, only you will know if you are an alcoholic, but make no mistake it is a fatal and progressive disease i.e if left untreated it gets worse over time never better""

Problem is you don't have to be falling over drunk and messing up your life to be an alcohlic, theres millions of high functioning alcoholics.
I know so many poeple who do have problems with drink. but they cannot see it and no one else see's it because we live in a drinking culture.
You can listen to other people and let them reassure you and let them convince you that you don't have a problem but from my experience you already have a problem.
maybe it won't get worse , maybe you won't develop an addiction but the fact you don't want to stop worries me.

You need to wake up and realize that if you cannot stop drinking you have a problem!
Your definition of an alcoholic is absurd. It's based on movies, tv, people you have seen or heard of.
My family used to say my mother was not "that bad" No one tried to help her but me. but by the time anyone else noticed she had a problem she was in the hospital.
I had known at least six years before that she had a problem, I noticed all the little signs that everyone else so easily dismisses.

The main thing to watch out for is the CRAVING for alcohol, what do addicts do? they crave the substance.

[nomorepanic]

I think most of us drink too much and don't realise it to be honest.

14 units a week is not much! I like lager and that is 2.2 units per can so I can only drink 6 cans a WEEK and that is not much when you look at it.

My dad was an alcoholic and needed it to function. He would get up and drink and if he had to do anything he would need a drink to be able to do it.

It cost him his marriage to my mum and ultimately his life in the end which is very sad.

Anyway - the choice is yours and only you can decide if you need to cut down etc etc.

[Anxious_gal]

Aw Nic I'm so sorry about your dad : (

[MandySlade]

"Your definition of an alcoholic is absurd. It's based on movies, tv, people you have seen or heard of."

I appreciate the help, really I do, but did I ever define "an alcoholic"?

[Groundhog]

Hi Mandy
The subject of alcohol can be very touchy and is very complex.
I drink very little. On a normal week – i.e if I’m not on holiday or going to a function, I consume a maximum of around four units – quite often none at all.
I too had a father who was an alcoholic – he was also a smoker and he died of cancer of the oesophagus, at the time the doctors said it was either the drink or smoking or a combination of the two that caused it.
Bearing in mind the amount you say you are drinking I would cut back. Nicola makes a good point with her parody of the can of lager, most people would count that has one unit where-as as pointed out it is in fact over two
With drink there are broadly two categories - alcoholism and alcohol abuse so effectively you can abuse the use of alcohol without being dependant on it.
As I say the subject is complex and the stats quite alarming so it may be prudent to gen up on it and re-evaluate your intake.
All the best :)

[qrydem1987]

My opinion I would not say your an alcoholic, you have consumed more than what doctors and medical professionals would state more than the daily guidelines but in honesty everyone is guilty of excess afterall most do not eat 5 fruit n veg a day, vigorous exercise 20 mins a day, I do not believe you would get physical withdrawal symptoms. But I would suggest maybe cutting back. As you admit yourself your starting to drink more when your stressed and anxious, this is not a good sign not for now but for the future as this "COULD" lead to alcoholism and physical addiction.

[westofengland]

Hi Mandy
There are some rather alarmist replies on this forum. I too have suffered from health anxiety about drinking but it doesn't sound like you have a major problem. It's probably wise to stick within the government limits for safe drinking (14 units a week I think) and have a couple of nights off the booze. If you find this very hard, it might indicate that you have a dependency problem and might want to seek help, either from your GP or a voluntary group such as AA.

You can also get a quick free liver test at your GP to see if your liver is working properly - to be honest, liver damage is probably more of a health worry than withdrawal symptoms. But to put your mind at rest, you normally have to really cane it before your liver is unable to regenerate itself and serious liver disease occurs. Booze can also be behind heart disease and cancer but again, sticking to safe limits (or even going a bit over) should be fine. There are no guarantees though, but there are no guarantees in life full stop

[AllInMyHead]

I think the fact that you're even asking the question means that you're probably not an alcoholic.

If you're worried you're drinking too much, cut down a bit. If you try and you can't, maybe then it would be time to get some help.

[MandySlade]

I've decided to go back to just 1-2 a night during the week (with/after dinner) and more on the weekends or if I go to a rare weekday concert/party. We will see. So far so good. 1 beer on Sunday and 1 (albeit large) glass of wine last night. Basically I think I just need to stop my newish habit of going out during the week. Also, I would like to say that.. although I do drink more than what's considered normal.. I don't drink to excess near the amount I used to in my early 20s -when- I would drink. IOW I am almost never (maybe once a year) "stumbling/fall down" drunk. Last time I threw up from drinking was a couple years ago.

[bottleblond]

you only fall down drunk once a year? Jeeez, you`re not even trying !!! :roflmao:

I think you`ll turn out just fine, sounds like you`re on top of things so as long as you keep an eye on it I wouldn`t get too fretful over it.

If you start waking up in other peoples gardens, in a zoo cuddling a sleeping llama or indeed in a police cell, then it`s probably time to back off a little !

best of luck with it all

Paul


Lmao Paul, you crack me up :roflmao::roflmao:


I drink way too much too. I drink lager which is 4% Vol. I only drink in the evening oh and there's me making excuses up already. :doh: i KNOW i have a problem and many of us anxiety sufferers do use it as a coping mechanism unfortuntely which then leads to habbit.

I drink to relax. If i am in company ie: a party then i am then last one to arrive and the first one home because i just can keep up with the party pace.

It IS a hugely complex subject but my opinion would be that no, you're not an alcoholic. You're young and healthy and can change things for the better hun.

Lisa
xx

[MandySlade]

So far so good. Still worried about being an alcoholic, fiance says its more obsessing and health anxiety. Last week I had 1 beer a night sunday through thursday and then 4 drinks friday and 6 saturday ) during my normal hanging out with friends on the weekends.

This week so far I had 1 beer sunday, 1 beer monday, NOTHING tuesday, 1 glass of wine tonight, and plan on nothing tomorrow. Then I will do my usual going out friday/saturday.

Really I think I just needed to stop "going out on the week nights" which I only used to do on special occasions/events. I just got into a habit of doing that with a friend who was also bored and up late (fiance and I work opposite shifts). She and I would go out 2, sometimes 3 nights during the week over the last few months. Im supposed to go to a bday party next monday, so I will do more that night, etc.. back to "once in awhile" during the week.

I plan to just stay the way I am now. a beer/wine or 2 a few week days, none a couple days, and party on the weekends. I cant tell if Im rationalizing alcoholism or if Im normal and just obsessing. *shrug* Knowing when to worry is hard.

[MandySlade]

UPDATE -- HELP PLZ?

still been keeping with the cutting back moderation. Trying to add even more sober days just to see. This week I've had nothing Sunday Monday and Tuesday (tonight), plan on a couple beers or wine with my husband tomorrow, nothing Thursday and then our regular going out and drinking on Fri-Sat.

It's been "ok". I do miss having my beer or two with my husband every night. He thinks I'm being ridiculous. I'm now way more scared of alcoholism than ever though. Why? Because I keep reading (I research it for hours a day) about how "if you think you're an alcoholic you probably are" and how "it's not about how much you drink, but how much time you spend thinking about alcohol" which right now is ALL THE TIME. But, is that just the OCD/hypochondria? I mean, I also think about my teeth all the time or whatever other health obsession I have going on. I can't tell if this is a different issue or not. Sometimes I want to just go back to my couple beers every week night and more on the weekends routine, back when I wasnt obsessing about if it was wrong or not, because I was happier then. Not to mention, now I look FORWARD to the weekend or my "drinking night".. which makes me feel MORE like an alcoholic. So, help me out... do I sound like an alcoholic or someone who likes to drink and is just obsessive and neurotic?

[mikewales]

Drinking a lot doesn't necessarily mean you are an alcoholic, it is more to do with how long you can happily go without drinking. If you can't last a week without 'needing a drink', then you need to look at it a bit closer and be careful in case it does get worse.

I know its easy to say, but if you are drinking 3 or 4 nights a week, and having a few, it does all add up.

[amandaj]

i had to commnet on your post i was drinking far far to muich in the end i thought enough is enough i wasnt feeling any better for it infact i felt so much worse, in the end i asked for help with it that was 4 months ago, i never have alcohol in the house anymore though christmas is going to be very hard , if i got out which is rarely nowadays i drink spritzer i know its got same amount of wine in it but because its a long drink last longer i made every excuse under the sun as to why io was drinking so much to my family, if you feel you cant just give up then ask gp for some help and to find out as to why you need to drink so much feel free to pm anytime take care
amandaxx

[MandySlade]

^well, that's just it. My family have never expressed concern, nor my friends, nor my husband. I haven't had any work issues or any "problems" caused by my drinking. I've only truly blacked out once and it was 3 years ago. Etc... but I know I was drinking too much amount wise. I don't -want- to quit, I just wanted to cut back. And, I -have-... but I can't stop obsessing over the "why don't I -want- to quit" part. My mind keeps going "but you LIKE alcohol and you dont WANT to quit, so you MUST be an alcoholic". UHG. I dont know. I've brought it up to a few friends and they're all like "I think you're fine, but it's not up to me" basically. One friend suggested stopping for a month altogether and I thought "oh hellllll no" ... and then of course that makes me think I must have an issue. I can't imagine not having fun/drinking with friends on Saturday nights.

[MandySlade]

Sorry for yet another bump, but some more on the subject (and an interesting realization)

1. I am still obsessing about the am I/am I not issue... so much so that my husband completely refuses to discuss it with me anymore and says I'm starting not to be fun anymore because when we drink I will often start getting worked up about if I'm an alcoholic. He clearly thinks I am not.

2. The cutting back has gone well and has gotten easier. I now drink maybe 1 or 2 drinks during the week and probably 12 more between Friday and Saturday nights.

3. The internet, which I research on way too much about this subject, has me all kinda of worked up. I often read "if you think you have a problem you do" and "if you spend a lot of time thinking about drinking or not, thats a sign of alcoholism" but... I wonder if this applies to people with hypochondria? I obsess about soooo much... although this one is probably the one that's lasted so long and been so consistent. Many sites also say if I can't stop drinking for a month I'm an alcoholic... and I think "I don't want to stop for a month.. I like drinking with my husband or friends... its fun.." which of course.. makes me think I'm an alcoholic. My husband says I drink way way less than I used to in my early-mid twenties (which is maybe scary, but true).

Now the interesting thing I noticed....... when reading all of these websites about alcoholism.. they always point to certain factors as warning signs:

*is it costing you more than you can afford
*is it causing you trouble in your relationships
*is it causing you to slack at work
*do you continue to do it even after you say you won't for a certain amount of time
*do you hide how much you do it
*do you continue to do it despite the negative effects on your life

^none of these are true for me with alcohol
HOWEVER:

********THEY ARE ALL TRUE FOR ME .... WITH HYPOCHONDRIA ********

So what does that mean? I just found it striking.

[Vanilla Sky]

I think the fact that you are worried tells me that you are thinking about how much you are drinking and that to me is a good thing. You are only questioning yourself and you seem aware of what the problems too much alcohol does . Just cut back , Have one less beer or a smaller glass of wine. Anything in excess is bad for us , moderation , and you will be fine

Paige x

[Savannah]

I wouldn't say your an alcoholic but I would say you drink too much. You are going over your units.

I very rarely drink, maybe 2 glasses of wine a week, other weeks nothing. I used to enjoy a glass or 2 most nights but I cut it out as I didn't want to be drinking, I knew i was going over my weekly unit just by relaxing having a couple of glasses at night. We sometimes don't realise it as 2 glasses of wine seems like nothing.

Once I stopped having a glass at night I then didn't miss it at weekends so now I rarely bother unless we go out for a meal, or have friends over.

If you're worried about how much you're drinking just cut back slowly, you won't have any side effects, you're not drinking all day, so your body isn't going to have withdrawal. You could always see your gp for advice.

Good luck x

[AllInMyHead]

The fact that all those points are true for you with hypochondria seems to me that hypochondria is having a negative impact on your life. Maybe that's the problem you should be trying to solve? Maybe look at getting CBT to address it? One feature of HA is that you can constantly seek reassurance about something, but you never find it reassuring, it just feeds your anxiety, and that's something you seem to be doing here.

I think you should consider stopping for a month to prove to yourself you can. You say you don't want to, because drinking is fun, but you also say drinking isn't fun any more because when you do you are constantly worrying you're an alcoholic, so what have you got to lose? One month will pass quickly enough. I did it once, and it wasn't too difficult.

All the best x

[Cell block H fan]

I visited my doc about drinking about 7 yrs ago, he said try to have at least 3 nights in a row a week when you don't drink. I was only having about 6 bacardi breezers 3 nights a week, I say only, compared the the last few yrs that was nothing!
Anyway, I ended up having 1 of the small bottlesof vodka (7.5 units) at least 3 nights a week. I did that until about 6/9 months ago.
Now I am down to 2 of those bottles a week, usually a thursday night & sunday night. No work the next days.
I do worry it's too much, it certainly is in one night, maybe not over the week, as that's only a dot over the womens weekly amount.
But it does worry me a bit.
I do try to eat something with pasta in at the end of the night, & if I don't eat anything, or just have a packet of crisps for example, I wake up with a hangover.
But at the moment I like drinking & apart from rarely when I get that hangover, it's not affecting my life.
Buryingmy head in the sand maybe.
Oh & over xmas I didn't drink, was too full up with food! And I didn't drink last night as I had almost a 7 units friday night!
Am I an alcoholic? I don't think so, but I may be alcohol dependant? Drinking in the morning would always be a no no, can't think of anything worse yuk!
Although I can go a week without drinking, if I am really stressed about something it turns me off alcohol, usually I start looking forward to it after 4 days though :shrug:

[MandySlade]

Thanks to those of you who read the thread and my recent responses.

AllInMyHead:: I mostly agree with you, although I don't know that I'm ready to do a whole month off. My husband would probably throw a fit if I did that... because he would tell me it was more of my ocd/anxiety. I've mentioned it before and he gets annoyed, saying we've already cut back and I'm taking the obsession to far. Last week he said to me "your ocd/hypochondria is way more an issue far far before alcoholism"

[eight days a week]

Firstly, please don't apologise Mandy. If it's important to you then it's very important you put it on YOUR thread :)



3. The internet, which I research on way too much about this subject, has me all kinda of worked up. I often read "if you think you have a problem you do" and "if you spend a lot of time thinking about drinking or not, thats a sign of alcoholism" but... I wonder if this applies to people with hypochondria?

I don't think it does apply, no. And I have huge experience with alcoholic drinking following a nervous breakdown.

I see no point at all stopping for a month - there's no logic in it at all. You're thinking of your long-term health, so what does a month or two matter now - you want to be healthy in twenty, thirty, forty years. A month now will make ZERO difference in the long-term. There was an article today on the BBC news website from liver specialists that said a month off is nonsense - your best bet is to have a couple of days off a week, which you're already comfortably doing :)

My best guess is that you (like me and so many others) just enjoy the sense of relaxation that a few drinks give. I applaud you for addressing this now, before it might become a problem, and if you carry on being as careful as you have been I'm absolutely sure it won't become a more serious problem for you in the future :)

You are being too careful I'd say, but if you have OCD I know it's so hard not to be.

If at all possible I'd say relax, enjoy a few drinks with your husband when you fancy it, and just try not to regularly exceed 25 UK units a week (yes I know that's more than the guidelines - which I think are 14 for women - a bottle and a half of wine, but my private psychiatrist is also one of the top alcohol specialists in the country and says that they - the guidelines - are arbitrary, and absolutely made-up nonsense). <edit> For a man, for example, he says that in his opinion up to eight a day is fine and does no damage (and that's 56 a week - over double the guidelines!)

All the best to you, if you'd like any more info please PM me (I'm not often coming on here these days) :)

<edit 2> There are lots of definitions of alcoholism, and I bet most drinkers fit at least some of them! But one useful one I think my dad's GP mentioned recently is that they're people who just cannot stop at one or two drinks - they always have to go on and on and on. That makes sense to me, and seems like a nice easy way to think about it.

[MandySlade]

Thanks again you guys. Still obsessively thinking about it. Declined drinking with friends twice already this week because I said I'd go Monday through Thursday without. -Really- looking forward to the weekend now (and of course this makes me worry.. because I'm looking forward to drinking this weekend). Maybe I've just blown it up so much in my head lately. I almost wish I could just go back to my old habits since, before I started worrying about it, it was one of the only things I -didnt- obsess about.

*editing to add* RE: addressing the hypochondria, I was seeing a therapist for CBT for awhile and it helped, but it's so expensive and I couldn't finish my course. I don't have insurance and the cheapest therapy I was able to find was still 200 dollars a month. : / MY husband actually recently tried adding me to his insurance but THAT would cost us another 500 dollars a month. It's ridiculous.

[MandySlade]

Another update: I'd say for the last 4 months, husband and I have maintained the same cut-back pattern. One week night a week we will either split a bottle of wine or have a few beers. Then, on Fridays and Saturdays we will typically either go out together or with friends, and drink those nights. We often will get admittedly tipsy, but I would say rarely flat-out drunk. It does happen though. Sometimes another drink day will be added if there's an event or occasion. Super Bowl Sunday, Labor Day, etc. We typically have 3-4 alcohol free drinks a week though now. That never used to be the case (as stated in my OP). Husband says he thinks it's good we cut back, but still maintains we were "not that bad" and tells me I'm silly for thinking I'm an alcoholic.

What worries me currently is my inability to stop obsessing about it. Some days I will wake up and think "Oh my god, what if I start chugging vodka" ... which is insane because.. I have never in my life "chugged vodka" (ok maybe once). Or I will tell myself things I read on the internet like "non alcoholics don't think about it" and "non alcoholics don't worry if they have a problem". So... I think to myself "if I worry about it I MUST be an alcoholic because NORMAL drinkers don't". Then, if I think about what I'm making for dinner and I think a certain beer or wine would be good with it I start telling myself I must have a problem. Or if I see a sign for an alcoholic beverage and think it sounds good I'll start to worry again. Everything I've read has be believing that if you like to drink, you have a problem and you're just kidding yourself. Then there are the questions that ask "do you drink to get a buzz"? ....... and I say "well duh, WTF is the point if not?" or it will say "do you look forward to drinking" and I think "sure I do" .....and that makes me feel bad. *shrug/sigh* IDK guys.. just thinking "out loud" again.

[star2001]

hi...just some thoughs....i dont think you are actually an alcholic just obsessing your are.....but i think you could consider cutting down. My mother is an alcholic and some of my earliest memories are of her drunk....it really upsets me. in my late teens and early twenties i was a real party girl drinking god knows howm much....but lots. i was never an alcholic but i defo had issues with alchol. i think you nedd to consider how you feel about your drinking??? i used to feel ashamed and embarassed.... also bear in mind alchol is a huge anxiety trigger.... hence why i know dont drink at all. if your really worried why not see your doc.... get some advice and facts about your drinking so your well informed to make a judgement. take care, keep us posted :)

[MandySlade]

^I have cut down some... I am still concerned and obsessing a bit, but I've been updating this thread all along. The original post was over 5 months ago.....

[swanlinnet]

Mandy Alcoholics don't work computers, plan events, and write good letters. They drink first.

The romantic alcoholic who is portrayed as being 'creative and genius' usually produced what was good when s/he was sober.

I wouldn't wrooy too much about being an alcoholic ..there are other things to worry about any way :)

But once people have planted seeds of doubt in our minds and have made us aware of something then an aobsession can begin to appear in our thinking.

Hope this helps, Vince:)

[MandySlade]

So then, you don't believe in "functional alcoholics"? I know there is some debate about it. I have known people who held jobs and whatnot who were clearly alcohol dependent though.

[swanlinnet]

"Alcoholic " is a word to describe a person addicted to alcohol.

Now you say: "Functional Alcoholic."

Why not, then, "Fat Alcoholic" ...."Thin Alcoholic" ....."Motionless Alcoholic" ?

People who are addicted to alcohol can walk, talk, sing, dance, etc.

The bottom line is, they all share one thing in common, that is, they are addicted to alcohol.

Vince

[Beyonderz]

My father was an alcoholic and treated for alcoholism years ago (he is not drinking anymore but he paid a higher price: Cancer). I say it wasn't an easy thing to do for him and personally I had a chance (or misfortune, I must say) to see my dad right after the delirium tremens in life support. I can never forget the condition he was in.

I remember his doctor describing a person who drinks more than a certain amount regularly everyday, an alcoholic. He said that people usually visualize an alcoholic person as a trouble causing one with behaviors on the edge or not acting normal, but that's actually not true.
Alcoholism is the name of the drinking habit and it doesn't matter how you behave in the end of your drinking session, he added. It is interesting that the term actually has a very wide range and one can not decide easily.

In my honest opinion everyone should think of their health in the first place, instead of getting concerned about becoming an alcoholic. My family is full of people who drink gallons everyday, and some never behave bad or cause trouble. They never notice how much damage is being caused in their bodies.

My dad wanted to get rid of his alcohol problem but believe me, the decision is the hardest of all. But even though you didn't reach to the state of becoming an alcoholic person (in your own sense) you can try reducing the amount you are drinking.

Feel well soon

[MandySlade]

Again, thank you to people who read the whole thread. ;)

[amandaj]

ive just read the whole thread and i was someone who replied to you about the booze , im just wondering why you still drink at all if you are obsessing over it, have you tried a few weeks without any at all to see if you feel ok without it ? i had a serious alcohol problem b4 now i only drink when go out which is very rare and then only 2 drinks ,have you tried to drink non alcoholic lager taste the same but wont do you any damage, thats what i did when first stopped think it was because it was all in my head but it helped me get to where i am today maybe worth a go good luck amandaxx

[Rain]

Alcoholics don't work computers, plan events, and write good letters. They drink first.

This is quite untrue. There are many so-called functional alcoholics in this world. They live seemingly normal lives and do all the things we do. Many hold down jobs.

They are unique in that they are unable to control their alcohol intake, in other words they end up drinking more than they planned to. Also they may obsess over alcohol. Some may drink every day. But others can go weeks, even months without drinking. But when they do finally drink it ends badly.

The view that an alcoholic is always a person lying in the gutter with a bottle in a brown paper bag is simply not true. Anyone can have a problem with alcohol. It doesn't turn them into a caricature.

Luckily nowadays there are many places people can turn to for help. If someone is wondering if they have a drinking problem, it does no harm to explore these options.

[MandySlade]

amanda: I have only cut back and not "quit" completely for a month or whatever have you because it's just a big part of our lifestyle. Husband and I are drinking nearly half of what we were a year ago. He already is driven crazy by my hypochondria. If now, in addition to fretting about being an alcoholic, having us cut back, etc... I tell him I don't want to go out and have fun and drink with our friends on the weekend anymore, as we have for the last decade, he's going to take it badly. Meaning, he will say it's more of my OCD and that now I'm trying to ruin fun for myself as well, so I can sit at home and obsess instead. Truth is, he would be partially right. Or, for instance, tonight is Valentines. I'm sure we're going to either go out or if we stay in we will split some wine. If I were to say "no I don't want to drink tonight" it would be like "holy crap woman! you're fine! what the hell?" We went on our honeymoon to NYC this December. I was fretting about it then too because we went out a few nights in a row. To which his reply was "we're on vacation! this is totally appropriate!" Also, I rarely drink "more than I intended". Meaning, I can go out and have "a few", or I can have "a couple" at home. Which, is supposed to be difficult for an alcoholic. I'll admit there are times when the drinks are stronger than I thought or I wind up getting more tipsy than intended, but I am always like "woah, ok, I'm good" and I will stop. I just wish I could not -obsess- about it anymore. I keep trying to tell myself "Well, they say normal drinkers dont worry about it.... but normal people don't check their teeth 10 times a day for signs of decay... or search the internet for multiple illness symptoms for hours every day either.."

[star2001]

^I have cut down some... I am still concerned and obsessing a bit, but I've been updating this thread all along. The original post was over 5 months ago.....

hi mandy, think this was written as a reply for me.... i realise you have been posting/updating for a while, and its great you have cut down.... but i must point out again

alchol is a HUGE trigger for all forms of anxiety. . . . . . .

I know you say you cant stop drinking because your partner would think you were "ruining your fun".... however is it really fun to keep obsessing if your an alcholic or not??? Personally obsessing about alchol made me hate alchol and as i said i now dont drink (unless v.special occasion- and with caution), if you diddnt drink the issue wouldnt be there for you to worry about.... just a thought :)

[kittyj]

Hi Mandy, I've just read through this entire thread as alcohol is also an issue for me. I'm currently sitting in bed, on my laptop and feeling hungover after drinking an entire bottle of wine and then a bottle of strong cider last night! I feel very bad about it as I wasn't even out last night, just sitting in with my other half! Anyway...

I did give up alcohol last year quite successfully for a few months, even made it through the festive period without touching a drop (apart from on Christmas day). I learned a lot from those few months and it upsets me that I've gone back to my old habits of drinking a bit during the week and a LOT at the weekend. I'm going to stop again, because here's what I learned:

Alcohol isn't fun. I used to think along the lines that if I was with friends at the weekend then not drinking would result in me having no fun but when I finally let go of the idea that it was the alcohol that was the fun part, rather than just being with my friends, it felt quite liberating and I found myself enjoying myself more than I would have normally - I had better clarity of thought (obviously), didn't wake up the next day struggling to recollect conversations, got better at games (computer and board games - I'm a geek), and just generally felt better about myself and suffered from fewer and less intense HA bouts. It is possible to go out and drink soft drinks and still have fun. Believe me, it can be very liberating.

What isn't fun is listening to people asking why you're not drinking. Think about how weird that is for a second. What's the first thought that pops into your head when you ask someone if they want a drink and they say they don't drink or they'll just have a soft drink. My first impulse used to be to assume that the person had a problem with alcohol, maybe an ex-alcoholic, or to think they're obviously not enjoying themselves. "Why are you not drinking?" "Are you still off the drink?" "What, not even one glass of wine? I don't think I could do that... " It just goes on and on. We live in a society where a person is assumed to have a problem if they don't take a certain drug. It's actually quite crazy. Alcohol is a drug and a very addictive one at that. Do people have a problem with alcohol or is alcohol just a problem? I'm leaning towards that latter more and more every day.

Like you I was reading and watching lots about it and the two things that really changed the way I thought were a 2009 BBC Horizon episode 'Do I Drink Too Much?' where they talked about how addictive alcohol is and I remember the presenter saying if it was only discovered today it would be made illegal and then a book called Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale where the author argues that there's no such thing as alcoholism, there's just this highly addictive drug that pretty much everyone uses to some extent and struggles to take control of, and he spends a while trying to shatter the ideas that drinking is fun or in any way a worthwhile pastime. He's not the best writer, labours the point a bit and sounds a bit preachy at times but more and more I'm thinking he's essentially right.

Erm, so to answer your question... I don't think you're an alcoholic. I think you're struggling with a highly addictive drug and worrying that you might have a disease and that it's all making you very miserable. So what's the point in continuing to drink? One of the things that's making you miserable is the constant struggle to keep it under control but when you choose not to do it any more there is no struggle. I never thought I could do it and still 'have a life' but I did it and I'm going to do it again. You can join me if you like :)

[star2001]

what a fantastically positive, uplifting post kitty :)

[sebinkent]

It's so easy to blow this out of proportion. So many people have become paranoid and scared about how much alcohol they consume since it was suggested that we shouldn't drink more than a certain amount per week. Obviously people can become dependent on alcohol and it can really harm your body and I have certainly worried in the past about how much I have drunk and what it might be doing to my internal organs but everyone handles alcohol differently. I would NEVER suggest that this is right or sensible and it may be a bad example to use but my Grandfather would drink a lot of whisky everyday and I mean a LOT and he had no problems and lived to the age of 90! (please don't start doing that though lol)
I can understand your concerns, I have had the same. I don't think it would be right for anyone on here to suggest that you're drinking too much.