i'm a complete failure, feel so sad.

[rainbow]

my anxiety has been really bad for the last 11 weeks now, my ibs has been constant during this time and i'm caught up in a cycle of fear and anxiety. Saw my gp yesterday and thinks its anxiety/ibs causing the stomach issues.

I've been taking diazepam for the last week and my gp has prescribed me beta blockers as she's concerned about addiction to the diazepam.

I have 5 chilldren aged 26/25/20/7 and 4. I feel like i'm letting them down and its too much to bear. I was talking to my 20 yo daughter today and she told me she misses me, i told her we can meet up anytime but she said its not that, she
Misses the "old me". I try to put on a front but its so hard and now its affecting my children, i feel so guilty and useless. I don't know what to do. My children are my life and i'm being so selfish, totally wrapped up in my own worries. I just feel like i'm nothing!

[vicky23]

I think it's a very common thing for anxiety sufferers to feel a lot of guilt but you don't have anything to feel guilty for. You didn't ask for this illness, and it is an illness rather than you being selfish. I'm sure that when your daughter said she misses the old you this wasn't to make you feel guilty it was to give you encouragment to try everything you can to get better. But it's not an easy road at all so you have to be kind to yourself, every day that you get through is an achievement.
When you have those thoughts about you being a failure it's important to question them because they aren't true. In order to be a failure you have to not meet a certain standard- who's standards are you not meeting and are they realistic?
I mean from my point of view bringing 5 children up is very much a success!
Once you've done this replace that thought with a more positive realistic statement like 'Nobody is perfect, I am doing the best I can in the situation that I am in at the moment'
Best wishes

[qrydem1987]

Fantastic reply from Vicky not able to add much to it, except you need to evaluate how you see failure and success. Failure is giving up or not trying regardless of the outcome, success is trying and fighting regardless of the outcome. A true persons worth is not judged by what happens to them or the cards they are dealt, it's what that person chooses to do and how they react to them events.

I will disagree with Vicky with 1 point, I refuse to believe that anxiety is an illness in most cases. But more of a state of mind which in time will and can be undone.