Horse
23-08-11, 22:50
For sometime my health anxiety had been worsened by the fact that my wife had an affair and subsequently left me 11 years ago. Until 3 years ago, we still saw each other for a drink now and again even though she was with someone else, and we remained friends (or so I thought) until two years ago when she mysteriously started to get more and more hostile towards me. However, although puzzled and slightly upset by this behaviour, I remained polite and always ready to give any help and assistance to her, her son and her ailing parents if they should need anything. To say that I loved her would be an understatement as I would of given my life if necessary to help her and my stepson! I must add and be honest and say that I always had trouble bonding with my stepson (for reasons I don't know why) but nevertheless have always treated him the best way I knew and supported him likewise.
Sadly, my dear wife now only contacts me when she wants something (normally concerning a legal matter with regards to me 'snuffing it' and making sure the house is left to my stepson should anything happen to her) or to feast once again on what little I have left on my genitalia! I am pleased to say that I always treat her in a most courteous manner and say that I'm always here for her.
My stepson whom I have known since he was 3 and is now 29, is getting married this coming Friday and although I am a little upset at not being invited, I am happy for him and his fiance who I have never met.
Modern technology now enables those getting married to have a 'Wedding Website' whereupon people can view all the necessary information regarding how the couple met, who the family is, who sits where at the reception and so on. There is also a facilty whereupon people can donate a gift of money online if required instead of buying the couple a present.
I therefore decided to donate a gift of £100 which although I can not really afford, thought it would help go towards their honeymoon and also in consideration of the fact that his fiance already has 3 small children by a previous marriage (needless to say, I admire his devotion).
Today is the anniversary of my fathers death so it is particularly not one of the happiest days in my diary. Unbeknown to me, I was unprepared as far as the amount of verbal abuse and emotional pain I was about to have to endure!
I received a call from my wife (here we go) who stated that she understood that I had sent my stepson some money asking me why I had done so? How I discovered the website? And how dare I 'Check up' on him! I looked out of the window. Yes, there was a black cloud outside, several in fact! Looking out of the other window I discovered a person about 8 feet tall wearing a black hooded cloak carrying a long-handled scythe with the word 'testicals' written on it!
My response to the amount of vitriolic and caustic verbal abuse that was so lovingly showered upon me was that I merely offered the money as a gift for the wedding and that I have known my stepson for 26 years and I wanted to add my congratulations to both he and his fiance. Needless to say this fell on very deaf ears which are attatched to the same person who also possesses a very short memory!
I was 'ordered' to cancel the payment considering that my stepson wants nothing more to do with me (although this wasn't the case when a few years ago I treated him to a double record deck costing £750 pounds for his birthday)!
To cut a long story short, after much searching and surfing the Q and A pages of 'Paypal' I noticed that my payment gift had been returned by my stepson with an added attatched comment from him which read thus;
'I'm not sure how you found our website or why you have decided to send us a gift, but i do not appreciate you looking at it and seeing our family and friends. If i Wanted you to meet them I would bring them to meet you. Please dont look at it anymore.
This I found to be both hurtful and unwarrented. A simple reimbursement would be adequate enough, but to add a comment like the above is in my opinion both evil and cruel especially when directed at a 'family' member. Just for the record, I have no other family except a brother in Canada and therefore, in my judgement, my wife and stepson are all I had. Even more astonishing is the fact that they are both aware of my anxiety issues and would of been only too aware at how such comments would have effect on me!
To be honest with you, I admit I have been a naughty boy in my younger years and I have seen things that I no longer wish to see and done things which I will never do again. I have also suffered at the hands of what I consider to be evil people and I have the memories and scars which never heal. But this has affected me possibly more than anything I endured of the past.
Consequently, I am sitting here in full meltdown. Acute chest pains, churning stomach, thankfully no crying considering I ran out of tears when my wife left me, acid burning and a head still shaking in disbelief!
If I were to pass away in the night through Cardiac Arrest, then it would only be a release and joy at meeting up with those who loved me for real and who have been so sadly missed in my heart for so long!
For those of you who know Horse, for once there is no humour in this post sadly (although the occasional irony is present).
For me, I have always refused to live in this world. A world which we are constantly surrounded by our suffering everday but where we continue to fight our problems and wear a mask in the hope that we appear normal. I have been only too aware that evil is constantly snapping at our heels every second of everyday...........Sadly today it took my heart!
Sorry, but today I cannot make any of you laugh or even smile.
My sincere apologies but this evening 'Horse' is hurting, and he's hurting bad!
May God bless you.
Horse.
Sadly, my dear wife now only contacts me when she wants something (normally concerning a legal matter with regards to me 'snuffing it' and making sure the house is left to my stepson should anything happen to her) or to feast once again on what little I have left on my genitalia! I am pleased to say that I always treat her in a most courteous manner and say that I'm always here for her.
My stepson whom I have known since he was 3 and is now 29, is getting married this coming Friday and although I am a little upset at not being invited, I am happy for him and his fiance who I have never met.
Modern technology now enables those getting married to have a 'Wedding Website' whereupon people can view all the necessary information regarding how the couple met, who the family is, who sits where at the reception and so on. There is also a facilty whereupon people can donate a gift of money online if required instead of buying the couple a present.
I therefore decided to donate a gift of £100 which although I can not really afford, thought it would help go towards their honeymoon and also in consideration of the fact that his fiance already has 3 small children by a previous marriage (needless to say, I admire his devotion).
Today is the anniversary of my fathers death so it is particularly not one of the happiest days in my diary. Unbeknown to me, I was unprepared as far as the amount of verbal abuse and emotional pain I was about to have to endure!
I received a call from my wife (here we go) who stated that she understood that I had sent my stepson some money asking me why I had done so? How I discovered the website? And how dare I 'Check up' on him! I looked out of the window. Yes, there was a black cloud outside, several in fact! Looking out of the other window I discovered a person about 8 feet tall wearing a black hooded cloak carrying a long-handled scythe with the word 'testicals' written on it!
My response to the amount of vitriolic and caustic verbal abuse that was so lovingly showered upon me was that I merely offered the money as a gift for the wedding and that I have known my stepson for 26 years and I wanted to add my congratulations to both he and his fiance. Needless to say this fell on very deaf ears which are attatched to the same person who also possesses a very short memory!
I was 'ordered' to cancel the payment considering that my stepson wants nothing more to do with me (although this wasn't the case when a few years ago I treated him to a double record deck costing £750 pounds for his birthday)!
To cut a long story short, after much searching and surfing the Q and A pages of 'Paypal' I noticed that my payment gift had been returned by my stepson with an added attatched comment from him which read thus;
'I'm not sure how you found our website or why you have decided to send us a gift, but i do not appreciate you looking at it and seeing our family and friends. If i Wanted you to meet them I would bring them to meet you. Please dont look at it anymore.
This I found to be both hurtful and unwarrented. A simple reimbursement would be adequate enough, but to add a comment like the above is in my opinion both evil and cruel especially when directed at a 'family' member. Just for the record, I have no other family except a brother in Canada and therefore, in my judgement, my wife and stepson are all I had. Even more astonishing is the fact that they are both aware of my anxiety issues and would of been only too aware at how such comments would have effect on me!
To be honest with you, I admit I have been a naughty boy in my younger years and I have seen things that I no longer wish to see and done things which I will never do again. I have also suffered at the hands of what I consider to be evil people and I have the memories and scars which never heal. But this has affected me possibly more than anything I endured of the past.
Consequently, I am sitting here in full meltdown. Acute chest pains, churning stomach, thankfully no crying considering I ran out of tears when my wife left me, acid burning and a head still shaking in disbelief!
If I were to pass away in the night through Cardiac Arrest, then it would only be a release and joy at meeting up with those who loved me for real and who have been so sadly missed in my heart for so long!
For those of you who know Horse, for once there is no humour in this post sadly (although the occasional irony is present).
For me, I have always refused to live in this world. A world which we are constantly surrounded by our suffering everday but where we continue to fight our problems and wear a mask in the hope that we appear normal. I have been only too aware that evil is constantly snapping at our heels every second of everyday...........Sadly today it took my heart!
Sorry, but today I cannot make any of you laugh or even smile.
My sincere apologies but this evening 'Horse' is hurting, and he's hurting bad!
May God bless you.
Horse.