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[firey]

I'm going to see if this helps at least writing it down. No idea whats wrong, great job, girlfriend of 19 years, daughter of 18, healthy, etc etc- very lucky in other words. I'm a 42 year old firefighter and can cry now at any given minute. Been like this for 2 years now and am pushing everyone away. Going to loose it all but dont really care enough. Theres not a single day I dont think of loosing or taking my life and hoping I'm at least missed and well thought of. I am so very lonely though surrounded by lots of people. I cant admit to doctors or anyone as pills I feel wont work and I'm not allowed to work with that type of medication. I thought at first I was probably attention seeking or at the very least being selfish and feeling sorry for myself but cant see why I would do this as everything else is fine in my life. My head is just so full of thoughts all the time, wish it would give me some peace! I,ve never told a soul about how I feel so easier to do this- hoping it helps. Not expecting any comments but wondering if theres anyone else feeling the way I do and does it go away? Thanks

[nomorepanic]

Hi firey

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[KK77]

Hello Firey. It takes courage to admit how you feel and in fact makes you more of a man. Hopefully this is the first step and the support and advice you receive here will encourage you to seek the proper, professional help you need. Perhaps speaking to OH at some point will also help.

There are a lot of other therapies apart from meds. Talking therapies such as CBT or perhaps counselling would be more suitable.

There IS help out there - remember that - and welcome to NMP.

[terror-x]

firey welcome to the forum a firefighter you say what a legend you are big respect to your occupation. i myself am a 27 year old fully healthy and like i have experianced many times for no reason ill get upset and start to cry makes me feel so bad i allways think what i wrong with me. but here we help each other and im sure you will find the help you need

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya and welcome to NMP I hope you find the help and advice here and maybe make a few friends in the process

:welcome: