Please reply. Little setback.

[heavymind]

Dear friends,
I want to know if anxiety can deteriorate. If a person X has Y amount of anxiety, does Y have a tendency to increase over life time, inspite of X being completely aware that he has anxious tendencies. (sorry, I am a mathematician by degree). Or if X is aware of Y, does Y decrease. I am so sorry to put it in a complicated fashion, but I couldnt help it.

I have been making great progress. But 3 to 4 weeks back, I stopped exercising and started consuming coffee. Last week after coffee intake I felt sort of ok. So built my confidence that I can cope with coffee. So this morning had 2 coffee's made at home, with light flavour and in the evening, since it was raining, and I would be drenched , if i was on my bike, I went into a coffee day ( which is a famous cafe outlet in India) and had my favorite big bowl of columbian coffee. After coming home, I have intrusive anxious thoughts, and I clearly know the reasons. But its not too bad.

I actually gave myself the liberty of some coffee intake because I wanted to reward myself for how great I have been living my life the last 6 monts. I am sure I will get over with this and go forward with more enrgy, now that I am confident, I will start my exercises from tomorrow morning again.

Sorry to make it long, but the whole point is to dump my heart out somewhere, since I am an all alone guy, by choice.

Please provide me some motivation, which can inspire me and make me feel that I can proceed conquering my anxiety and improving far far far more than what I have been doing over the last six months. World is so lovely, anxiety makes me pray god. And Praying god gives me hope, and the hope and prayers gives me harmony and energy. With out anxiety life would have been void. Inspite of the difficulties that it brings to one like DR, DP, work life troubles, etc.. it still is in some sence worth it. I dont know if many would agree with me.

Sorry to make it even longer, even after having thought of stoping in the last para....

Ram

[henri]

hi ram,

well, i am a linguist by degree and your X and Ys are like a foreign language to me!
i have experienced almost exactly the same thing as far as caffeine intake is concerned. i used to drink about 5 or 6 cups of tea or coffee a day, then when my panic started, i had to stop completely. now i can manage one weak latte in the morning, but i won't allow myself any more. i think that, for now, i have to accept that my body can only take a small amount of caffeine.
it sounds like you feel like your exercises are a duty that you must carry out every day - if this is the case then of course you are going to get fed up with it eventually. i joined a gym and hardly ever go and spent ages making myself feel guilty for not going. but then i discovered yoga and i love it so much, it is a pleasure to go to a class, i really look forward to it. is there any form of exercise that you might enjoy more than the one you are doing now?
you will definitely be able to conquer your anxiety, but there will always be setbacks or blips. it is so hard not to let these get you down - they get all of us down (just when you think you've beaten anxiety, bam!). if you just accept them for what they are and don't let them worry you or upset you, they will disappear as quickly as they came.

obviously, this is all theoretical. i am experiencing a setback at the moment, and it has me logging onto this website at 2 in the morning telling people i'm going to die.
what are we like!

sorry for rambling on, take care

henri

[Karen]

Hi Ram

This is a blip and we all experience them. Unfortunately recovery does not go in a straight line. The caffeine also sounds like it has a lot to do with it.

Have a read of some of these posts which might help reassure you:

Blips
I just give up! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2633)

Caffeine / stimulant
AVOID pro plus! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3248)
Caffeine (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3252)
any replys please (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4097)
Having a hard time cutting out caffeine (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2728)
can too much caffine bring on an attack (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4150)
coffee (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4952)
COFFEE FRENZY! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6457)



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[feege]

Hi Ram

I guess I think it's a tendency we have, or that we are sensitive in some way - which I also think makes us special people often - more caring and aware of other people too!

Maybe, like if you break your leg you have a weakness there, we may be more likely to suffer again, depending on our physical health, experiences, diet, environment etc. But the most important thing is to learn and practice the skills and behaviours that we know help us to recover from each blip... Unfortunately, speaking for myself, I keep NOT doing these things, drinking coffee when I know I shouldn't, not doing my relaxation exercises, not listening to the cds, eating the wrong food at the wrong time, drinking alcohol occasionally and then being annoyed with myself about it!!! When we feel well we want to pretend it's never happened and push the boundaries until we make it happen again lol!!! Well, I do anyway!

You sound like you have a good understanding and I'm sure that you will bounce back from this blip very soon!

Good luck xxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Piglet]

In a funny way you testing yourself to see if you can cope with coffee not making you anxious is perhaps one that may not work out.

Drinking things with caffiene are well known to cause unpleasent symtoms in lots of people, not just anxiety sufferers. I think I would accept that its a sensible decision to lay off stuff we know is physically not good for us. Not really a fair test is it mate and it's not much of a reward if it makes you feel crap is it!!!

I'm with henri on the yoga - I try and do it 3 times a week and wish I had time to do it more.

All the best.

Piglet x

[heavymind]

Thanks all... I have to get back a disciplined routine again and I can see, I am not as healthy as I was a month back, when I was on regular exercise for 2 months around. Even today, I didnt start my proper routine again. Let me see if I make it tomorrow. I seem to tend to procrastinate more and not concentrate on work, when I am not upto the mark. Right now I need to get back my routine desperately to ensure that I dont skip some deadlines at work etc..


Ram

[heavymind]

I once had a week of terrifying incidences. Instead of once, once upon a time, would more appropriate, since it was more than a year back. Do not want to get into specifics, but the events were incomprehensible, and I tried to make sence out of the unconnected incidences. These days I dont worry about them anymore, but as you know, I have let myself slip into a minor setback. Occasionally getting these worrying thoughts that somebody is plotting against me or might stalk me or hurt me with some intent... But its not anything as bad as just after the week for around 2 months. During that time it also caused twice very intence episodes of pinful uncontrolability, which I think was panic, when I locked myself out and could not get sleep and was under continuous worry and was afraid of so much. I felt once shivering, but I couldnt understand whether it was because of fear or cold, but it was stragne nad I was not in my native tropical weather that I was used to when it all happened.

I am starting to get my doubts whether I really am anxious or may be is it just natural after such bad incidences. Is it that I might be just on the border line, with some negative incidences potentially putting me on the other side more..? There clearly are some fears and drain in concentrariont etc.. its also possible for me to relate to quite a lot of stories of other people here, but would that mean I am suffering from anxiety disorder, or may be is it possible that I might just be in the border line, which cant really be classified as anxiety disorder, but however, because of my terrifying incidence, I was put through panic etc.. and I may not ever get into such episodes again in life, provided, everything in life goes well, right?

Ram