dizzieblonde79
25-08-11, 00:54
Hi, I've been diagnosed with Mild to Moderate Depression for around 15 years or so now, and tried various medications on and off in the past. At the moment, I've been on Citalopram 20mg for about 2.5 - 3 years now following a bad period with several incidents all occurring at once (bereavement, illness, crime etc.) as I didn't feel I was coping at the time.
Lately though, for around 6 months or so, I don't feel they're working as well. I find myself alternating between very anxious, inpatient behaviour, guilt and feeling extreme sadness over unusual things or situations nothing to do with me, and general lethargy and depression. I visited a locum G.P. as my regular one wasn't available to query whether the drug loses it's efficiency over time. He wasn't much help but said it remained constant and didn't alter.
Within the last few weeks, I sometimes feel like I'm close to just breaking or having some kind of breakdown. I flew off 5000 miles away on holiday on my own at the spur of the moment, and although I enjoyed it, it was such unusual behaviour for me that it has concerned me a little. Now I'm back, I'm finding myself less and less tolerant of people and situations, and increasingly seeing suicide as a genuine option for those frustrated with life or feeling like they don't want to experience it anymore (hard to explain! sorry). Some days it feels like I am on the edge of doing something stupid, unsafe or badly planned - not always necessarily suicide, but running away, walking out of my job or something like that. I've noticed I'm, to be honest wasting, money on shopping trips and impulse buys just to take my mind off things or give me something to do, and considering risky behaviour I wouldn't usually (promsciousity, unprotected sex, things like that).
Does anyone have any advice if this is the medication, or the condition? Has anyone experienced similar feelings? I've posted this in the Depression forum, as that was my original condition and treatment, but I know it might be more appropriate for anxiety or similar instead.
Thank you
Lately though, for around 6 months or so, I don't feel they're working as well. I find myself alternating between very anxious, inpatient behaviour, guilt and feeling extreme sadness over unusual things or situations nothing to do with me, and general lethargy and depression. I visited a locum G.P. as my regular one wasn't available to query whether the drug loses it's efficiency over time. He wasn't much help but said it remained constant and didn't alter.
Within the last few weeks, I sometimes feel like I'm close to just breaking or having some kind of breakdown. I flew off 5000 miles away on holiday on my own at the spur of the moment, and although I enjoyed it, it was such unusual behaviour for me that it has concerned me a little. Now I'm back, I'm finding myself less and less tolerant of people and situations, and increasingly seeing suicide as a genuine option for those frustrated with life or feeling like they don't want to experience it anymore (hard to explain! sorry). Some days it feels like I am on the edge of doing something stupid, unsafe or badly planned - not always necessarily suicide, but running away, walking out of my job or something like that. I've noticed I'm, to be honest wasting, money on shopping trips and impulse buys just to take my mind off things or give me something to do, and considering risky behaviour I wouldn't usually (promsciousity, unprotected sex, things like that).
Does anyone have any advice if this is the medication, or the condition? Has anyone experienced similar feelings? I've posted this in the Depression forum, as that was my original condition and treatment, but I know it might be more appropriate for anxiety or similar instead.
Thank you