Scared to death.....of death. :(

[janine85]

Hi guys and dolls,

Feeling a bit rough today, seems as all my problems have decided to blow up in my life over the last 3-4 weeks. I just need to vent.

I quit my job, in a store, just for my general health, as the place was stressing me. I then got a new job, which had training away from home, I got as far as London on the train, got severley freaked out & came home as I hate being away from home alone, I have a real phobia of being alone at night. needless to say, i had to pass on that job,Im now waiting to hear this week if i have got another job, a job id really like, so thumbs up and fingers crossed.

I have also developed a strange phobia of death, more specifically dying, now ive had this fear ever since i was a little girl, i dont know why, but it have beacome more apparant in the last few weeks. Ive only lost 2 people close to me, one in 09 the other 2010. this hit me hard. I just cant seem to bear the fact that one day i wont be here, I'll be forgotten, alone, scared to leave my family and friends. Just cannot seem to accept that death is a natural part of living. I do know that theres noone out there who can help me with this as noone can make me live forever.

I have a dysfunctional family, who i see when it suits them, so i wonder when i die will they miss me, as they can go months without speaking to me. they hardly speak to eachother. my mumhas done and does things i dont agree with, i have issues with her and have given her the opportunity to explain things, but she chooses not too. on one handimangry,the other incredibly sad and hurt.

Also I dont have any children, im so broody and desperate for a baby, which i truly do believe will help me get back on the road to recovery because i will have someone other than my boyf to love, BUT on the other hand it will kill me to know one day ill die and leave my child.

WISH EVERYTHING COULD BE SIMPLE AND WE CAN LIVE FOREVER!!

been on medication 10 out of the last 12 months.

I want cbt,does anyonethink this could help.

feels good just to vent.
thanks :unsure::unsure::unsure::unsure:

[Vanilla Sky]

Yes , CBT should help you , sounds like you need it . Stop worrying about death, what did you do before you got here on this earth ?? I like to think we do live forever, just in a different body each time :)

Paige xx

[scaredstiff695]

Joni could have written your dear of death. But please get help before children my great escalated with by children Cos I fear leaving than and them not be looks after etc it's horrid. Yes cbt will help positive of it x I'm going to try a vicar for help I need to stop being frightened of death too in orde to beat my anixwyy xx

[janine85]

thanks x x x

[mrpanic]

I suffered from a fear of death for years, until I had a near death experience a few years back. Let me tell you right here and now, WE DO NOT DIE.

Study is important on this issue. Please watch a few of these videos on utube...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhZ2tvv3mto&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4XBfKasPkw

I studied quantum physics/mechanics for a number of years also which led me to a deeper understanding of 'eternity'. You should check it out. Check out people like Sir Alan Wolf, Michael Roll etc, and check these links.

http://www.cfpf.org.uk/articles/background/scientificproof/scientificproof1.html

http://www.near-death.com/evidence.html

http://www.victorzammit.com/

http://www.near-death.com/

http://www.nderf.org/

If you are living with a fear of hell, this WILL help drastically! The bible was severely mistranslated over the years from the original languages (Hebrew and Greek) and this website sticks to the facts. Basically in the original languages hell just means 'death', the lake of fire (fire is 'pur' in Greek and 'pur' means to PURify, or anything to do with PURification) etc.
http://www.tentmaker.org/

There is nothing to be afraid of, I know that love wins in the end.
There is no death and you overcome the fear of it by believing that there is no death and you do that by educating yourself on the facts with an open mind. DON'T try to convince yourself there is no death, let it happen...it WILL come if you look at the information I have sent you with an open mind. Don't believe EVERYTHING you read, especially if someone claims to have had a near death experience and it was horrible (and they write a book to make money)...Be wary of ANYTHING to do with religion on this subject and trust in scientific research on the matter. I'm not saying that some ndes are not unpleasant, (because we do have a life review to go through and some people aint all that nice). But we all get back to the 'source' eventually, or the place we all originated from I believe.

http://arthurfindlay.com/2011/03/22/ron-pearson-%E2%80%93-scientist-proves-there-is-life-after-death/

[mrpanic]

If there was no death there would be no life, no renewal, we NEED death to live, it's part of a cycle, but it's a cycle that goes on and on. Your conciousness is NOT in your brain, it's part of the 'ALL'.

[janine85]

People think i need to find god to aid with this problem, but wont i just look hypocritical when after 26 yrs of living i havent really given religion a thought. Im thinking of it. it does seem to calm me when i read things on the internet about jesus, afterlife etc. death just consumes my days. what were we doing before we were born?

[Gemma T]

I believe in the paranormal, the after life etc.

I have health anx but I'm not scared of where I will go when I die but what ill leave behind.

I love my fam and friends so much. I love the fun and the love we show each other.

I'm not married and I have no children. I have the basics and I'm so grateful of that x x x

[janine85]

Hi Gemma,

I am interested in those kind of things, ( not too much Dawn of the dead though lol!)

Maybe I'll look more into them, I'm scared of both not knowing where I'll go and what I'll leave.

I am going to get better as a Life consumed with death is the way to live.

[mrpanic]

People think i need to find god to aid with this problem, but wont i just look hypocritical when after 26 yrs of living i havent really given religion a thought. Im thinking of it. it does seem to calm me when i read things on the internet about jesus, afterlife etc. death just consumes my days. what were we doing before we were born?

Religion is a big hoax and if you have a fear of death, becoming a christian will soon ensure you have a fear of hell after death too (which makes things a lot worse). If reLIEgion does interest you you should check out Christian Universalism. After many years into the study of theology i can honestly say that the Universalists have their translations correct. The early church was Universalists before Pagan tradition crept into the church. http://not1lost.blogspot.com/

And there isnt a hell either. Hell (sheol/hades etc) simply means death. The word hell originally came from the word hel which means to 'cover'. HELmet. (Head covering), HEL the potatoes (cover the potatoes) etc etc.
http://what-the-hell-is-hell.com/

[Meewah]

For me CBT is too institutionalised. Who decides that the way Physiologists view the world is correct?

I prefer the more spiritualist route. Buddhism helped me loosen my fear on death.

Mee

[Meewah]

Mr Panic - Is there anything you did not study? :-) Buddha said "Don't blindly believe what I say. Don't believe me because others convince you of my words. Don't believe anything you see, read, or hear from others, whether of authority, religious teachers or texts. Don't rely on logic alone, nor speculation. Don't infer or be deceived by appearances."

"Do not give up your authority and follow blindly the will of others. This way will lead to only delusion."

Anything that requires blind faith and does not agree with your own reasoning should be tested. That's why I'm Buddhist. The tradition I study is Theravada and is the original buddhism it has no belief in gods or spirits it is the closest thing you will get to science.

Mee

[janine85]

I have turned to religion - Christian :) I'm reading the bible, tough read but interesting && I have had my self baptised. It does seem to bring me some calm.

I'm not silly, I do accept I'll die. However I still have trouble comprehending the concept.
Can't explain it. :(

I'm not wholly religious, I won't dedicated my entire life to it but I am open to the fact that there is something out there && m life may change through spiritulism and belief.

Thanks also for the links - I'll take a look.

:) :):):)

[mrpanic]

I did study quite a lot on the subject. I've always been interested in facts. Anyone who would write a book saying "there is no God" (such as richard dawkins) is a liar plain and simple because humans dont know enough to answer those questions. Also the concept of who 'God' is could be anything...Energy, universal consciousness, love etc...God is different things to different people. Thats why religions are 'faiths' and its why athiesm (belief in 'no' god) is a faith also. I would be agnostic if it wern't for personal experiences with 'God'.

[stevenr1986]

Yes , CBT should help you , sounds like you need it . Stop worrying about death, what did you do before you got here on this earth ?? I like to think we do live forever, just in a different body each time :)

Paige xx

i LIVE by that idea and given it much thought!

[stuart88]

I did study quite a lot on the subject. I've always been interested in facts. Anyone who would write a book saying "there is no God" (such as richard dawkins) is a liar plain and simple because humans dont know enough to answer those questions. Also the concept of who 'God' is could be anything...Energy, universal consciousness, love etc...God is different things to different people. Thats why religions are 'faiths' and its why athiesm (belief in 'no' god) is a faith also. I would be agnostic if it wern't for personal experiences with 'God'.

Atheism is not a 'faith', lol. Although that's a notion that's paraded frequently by those of religious and theistic persuasion.

I think someone who turns to religion mid-life - especially as a result of an irrational fear of death - is fairly weak to be quite honest. To willingly delude yourself to gain some sort of comfort is wrong, IMO of course. There's nothing scary about death, because it is just that - nothing. Personally, I found the realisation that there's nothing after death to be quite liberating in all honesty.

We don't need a grand meaning to be able to live a fulfilled life (well, self-fulfilment, not objectively).

As for the NDE stuff posted earlier in the thread, as far as I'm aware, those kinds of hallucinations can be wholly explained by the release of DMT into the brain as you're nearing death.

[JayDeee]

I can sympathise with this as I had health anxiety although I was afraid of death, I don't think I was as bad as you sound as it didn't preoccupy my mind as much, I was more scared of becoming ill/cathing things. Now I didn't have this as long as you, about a year and a half, but I had CBT for it and I'm now totally over it! It worked wonders! I still have little wobbles here and there but no where near what I was like. Of course what works for some doesn't work for everyone, but it's worth, right? Hope this helps :)

[janine85]

you're right - it does preocupy a lot of my mind, its always there. but im learning to curb these fears by thinking differently - which helps me understand things a bit better. x