Please please please help me and my relationship anxieties, its making me so anxious!

[worried 101]

hi guys...I have written on here before but I was wondering if anyone else experiences these problems...while im going through a bout of depression I begin to have panic attacks and real anxiety over lots of issues in my life but inparticular the one most important thing to me which is my relationship with my boyfriend. I just have to state that this happens pretty much everytime when I have a bout of depression and after I am ok and wonder what I was worrying about as me and my boyfriend have a very solid relationship and are very happy,we love each other very much, he has two children from a previous relationship but I get on very well with his two little girls though they can be quite tiring!But when I get like this I find myself doubting everything about us and its such a horrible horrible feelings because I know he is my everything and we have so many great times togther...but I dont understand why my anxiety creates these doubts and makes me feel sooo down. please tell me someone else has these issues?!I think its maybe because he is the most important thing to me and my depression basically tries to suck anything good out of my life to make me miserable,which is working...its just a theory I have but I dont really know!
So anyway, please please please reply if you have experienced anything simillar because I feel like I am going mad!I hate hate hate being like this so much,its takes me sooo much to not burst into tears all the time...its horrible.
Please help,I dont ever want to lose my boyfriend!
Thanks!xxxxx
:yesyes:

[PanchoGoz]

Ok firstly relax because a lot of people get very anxious about their relationships! It is one of life's most stressful things and he needs to support you in this. If you have his support, there is no reason that things will go fine. Don't keep things from him - make sure you know about you feelings and don't hold back if you have a real concern.
You haven't said what any of your doubts are. Maybe start to talk positively to yourself and make this a habit. If you have a bad thought about your relationship, reason with it, tell it why it makes no sense, Remember you love him and he loves you and all will be fine.
Try not to be too dramatic about things. Work on enjoying the nice moments you have with him and let those memories overtake the negetive thoughts.
Teach him to learn how to help you when you are with depression (I've just remembered a book he might like for this is "living with the black dog - susan jeffers, about helping and dealing with a partner with depression) so he is aware of how to keep things going when you are feeling low.

[Tyke]

Hi Worried

This sounds quite normal when suffering from depression. You feel so lousy you question everything and can easily end up thinking the person you are with would be better off without you. You just have to see it for what it is - a symptom of an illness and not a true reflection on the state of your relationship. Work on getting out of the depression using whatever methods you can. If it is real bad, anti-depressants can help a lot (I am on Sertraline) as well as getting plenty of exercise, counselling (if you can stand the NHS waiting lists) and forcing yourself to do things when you know you just feel like giving up. You know in your heart you have a great relationship, try not to let the depression cloud your judgement. Easier said than done, I know!

Tyke :)

[vickers88]

Hi i know exactly how u feel i feel the same about my partner we have been together. long tine have 2 children and are very happy but im always worried whats hes doing etc even tho i do trust him
i worry he will leave me because of it.

[worried 101]

thanks so much for the advice guys,I think I just need to try and calm myself down as I become so anxious!I need to remind myself that it is normal when im going through the depression like you guys have said, and know that out relationship is strong enough to get through all of this. My boyfriend is amazingly supportive and very understanding so I am very lucky. Vickers I think that you need to remember that,like you said, you are both very happy and he seems very commited being married and having children so I really wouldnt worry about him leaving you,just try and remember that your anxieties are irrational...i know its hard and something that I also need to work on myself but we will get there.
xxx