it's the little things

[blue_bird]

I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember but it gets worse every now and again and I start on a downward slope and keep going. I don't stress over big issues, I actually deal quite will when I need to. But it's little things that I get out of proportion and I worry and worry and keep worrying.

I guess something triggers my anxiety and then everything seems worse than it is and I feel if I don't worry than my worst fears will come true. One of my biggest problems is, worrying about what people think about me and trying to please everyone so I keep everyone around me happy.

I'm having a major wobble at the minute and I can't even write about it here because I am so worried about what might happen. It's not a 'big deal' in the whole scale of things but for me it's niggling away at me.

[Tyke]

Hi Blue Bird

Yeah, I often worry about what other people think too. It's a real pain and quite a handicap at times. I see plenty of others around me who couldn't care less about what others think about them and wish I was a bit tougher with this one. I don't really know what the answer is, but I try to build up confidence in myself by doing new things, taking up hobbies, going for interesting walks, doing night classes etc, so that I feel better about myself. When I am feeling more confident what others think seems to bother me less.

Tyke :)

[blue_bird]

Hi Tyke

I suppose I feel responsible for other peoples happiness and that adds a lot of pressure to my life. My mother has suffered from depression for years and I have grown up protecting and supporting her, sometimes to the extent my own health and mental well being suffers.

My partner so suffers from depression and won't go out alone, so I am constantly trying to cope with everyone elses needs. The problem is I do cope but then more and more gets dumped on me and sometimes I feel the weight of the world apon my shoulders.

This is when little things bubble away instead me and I get things out of proportion and I start imagining the worst and it grows and grows and I am also paralysed with fear.

If I had to describe my life in one world it would be 'fear'.

[Tyke]

Hi Blue Bird

I can relate to what you are saying here. I have in the past been largely responsible for the welfare of others in the family with these kind of illnesses. Just make sure you get as much help and support as you can for YOURSELF, you are very important too!

Try and get out to things and do things that will make YOU happy. Join a group, a club or a course, buy yourself a few treats. If no one else is telling you to do this, do it for yourself! You have needs and feelings too and have every right to some special time to do what YOU want to do!

If you are struggling a lot at the moment, maybe counselling would be worth considering? With all that you are dealing with, it might help you cope with it all.

Best of luck with this.

Tyke :)

[blue_bird]

Thanks Tyke,

I've had a funny sort of day. My anxiety has calmed down a bit but I feel mentally and phyiscally drained. I had to have a sleep at lunch time I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

I am eating but have no interest in food, nothing appeals to me. I'm meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow so maybe it will brighten my mood.

[Tyke]

You do sound a bit depressed yourself Blue Bird. Enjoy your dinner with your friend tomorrow and make sure you take plenty of time out from all those who are placing demands on you. You are only human and need support yourself too!

Tyke :)