Hello Everyone.. My name is JayK and im a..

[JayK]

Hehe.. couldnt resist giving an support group introduction but that does indeed seem to be the case here.
Just wanted to introduce myself and let everyone know I have been in and out of the 'panic disorder' situation for about four years now.
Panic Disorder
Social Anxiety
General and acute Anxiety
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
throw in OCD and probably what they now dub 'AADD'

Im just about convinced they are all the same situation anyways and thats severe anxiety due to worry.
(Basically)

At this point I am definately 'recovering' and not just 'avoiding' since some real stressful situations in life have forced me to deal with this head-on.
I have popped into this forum after googling up 'derealisation' and already the personal testimonials on here have gone a long way to reassuring me this is a sensation related directly to anxiety.
I am also relieved to know its a part of 'coming down' off of the full scale panic attacks i used to have.

I think I might have gone through just about every single sensation in the book (oddly enough, not choking fear which seems the most popular?)
Not to mention the Paxil and Valium and consequent withdrawal that came with quitting those.
So,
with any luck i might just be able to return the favour and give some reassuring advice from time to time.

Always feel free to PM me and looking forward to discussing solutions and supporting recovery with everyone here!

[trac67]

Hi

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[pips]

Hi JayK,

A BIG warm welcome to the forum I do hope it helps you.

Take Care,

Love PIP'S X

[Alexandra]

Hi Jay

Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of help & support on here.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[giddy]

Hi Jay - glad to hear your on the mend! Welcome
Love Helen

[jackie]

hi jake, any good advice is most welcome

jackie

[april tones]

Hi jay
welcome! feel free to ask any think too x

fibrochat) http://apriltones.proboards54.com

[Daisybun]

Welcome to the forum!

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[May Day]

Hi JayK

welcome to the site ... its good to hear you're on the road to recovery

take care

May

The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun

[Karen]

Hi Jay

Welcome to the forum.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi.

Welcome to the site. You will find lots of support here. Keep smiling.

Scooby2005
x x

[feege]

Hi Jay

Your intro made me chuckle anyway!! So...

Hi I'm Fee and I'm the adult child of alcoholic parents with a history of co-dependancy, 30 years worth of high achieving and 20 years panic attacks and anxiety, various physical health problems including ME, hiatus hernia and dueodenitis, benign kidney tumour and damaged vocal chords (no,NOT from screaming lol). Main problems at the moment include health anxiety and fear of doing things alone including driving, walking places (both of which I am making progress with) and my ultimate fear is flying (personally I think that's just good sense lol!).

On top of which I am now menopausal, have a mirena coil and am struggling to cope with my daughter in law's luekaemia and search for a bone marrow donor...

Funny I've been on the site for a few months and I don't think I've ever written that down!!!

Welcome to NMP and I hope you find it as helpful as I have!

Good luck xxxxxx



Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[JayK]

Thanks so much everyone for the warm welcome and thanks to Fee for the testimony as well.
Im finding this site and your testimonials invaluable (priceless) for confirming and illuminating what are a variety of anxiety withdrawal symptoms.

This is so helpful because otherwise I would be like anyone else and 'in the dark' on what was happening here.

Already another member and I have had a great round of 'comparison' talks about the phenom that is 'Disassociation' and just identified the very uncomfortable 'Flat and Unattached' sensations.
In my case these seem to be what lies just beneath 'depersonalisation'.

If not for that I may very well be concerned I was 'mentally dead' or some sort of scary fear.
Instead - we are identifying what are the stages and where they are going.
Good stuff!

Thanks again to all!

Oh.. and planes do seem to be a common 'panic attack' situation for a lot of people.
Here is an interesting testimonial on that for Fee's sake:

I was someone who was far more terrified of being in a queue for the plane than the plane itself.
Prior to a recent trip I spent the week watching 'Discovery Channel: Worst Airline Disasters Week'
Then repeated footage of a freak twin-engine plane crash off florida.
Ok
So, I then fly to Calgary aboard this tiny 10 person twin engine plane and we get the very best turbulance money can buy.
When the Pilots have whiteknuckles then I figure that is about enough.
Even experienced passengers were shaky after the flight.

In Calgary Airport I spend about a half hour with a Stewardess in what became a counselling session about her Panic attack/Anxiety disorders.
(Have you guys realised what a blessing you are going to be to others as you beat this and share with others yet?)
Part of this conversation dealt with people having panic attacks on planes.
Do you know why?
Its not because of turbulence and its not because of a real fear of crashing.
Its exactly the very very same reason people have panic attacks in:
- Waiting at Red Lights
- Being in a Queue (lineup) at a market
- Being in a shopping centre
- being in a 'drive through' fast food line
- Driving over bridges
- being in a subway car especially if it stops away from a station
[most of us know at least one of these I bet]

Its actually the fear of being 'trapped' or stopped somewhere, surrounded and having NO EXIT.
The Plane is the 'Ultimate' situation because it includes all of the factors AND even if you could get out - there is nothing to escape to.

Thats what she shared with me.
Now how about that.. a Stewardess with Panic Attacks eh?
When I spoke to her she shared with me she was having the sensations of 'going crazy' and was still believing in them.
I shared with her the old axiom: If you 'think you are going crazy' then thats all the proof you are definately not going crazy.
Its a 'scary thought' and its an irrational belief.

What a blessing to find oneself sitting in an airport at midnight and maybe being the one soul who reassured someone out of a fear that was ruining their lives.
meanwhile their experience is reassuring and informing you.

Everyone of us will be doing that and your never going to know the positive fingerprint your struggle and recovery is going to leave on this planet.
Think of the awesome surprise in the great hereafter when you find out the differences you are going to make in peoples lives.

[Paddington]

hi JayK,what on inspirational story,thanks 4 sharing it.I must admit that people have come into my life over the 19 years i have had tis disordr,and i ave been able to help them at times,help them understand their condition,and the relief they have felt when they realised they were not alone or crazy was amazing[on three occassions they were fellas]You are so right about the trapped explanation,i have tied so many times to explain ths to folks and they simply dont get it!!My in laws moved abroad and it is [of course]my fault that we cant visit,as i wont 'deal with my fearof flying'AAAGGGHHH!!I really enjoy reading your posts,JayK,keep them coming!love Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Paddington]

Had another thought,[ouch!]the feeling trapped scenario....as it kicks me off into a panic atttack,and sooo many others,[the list you did was comprehensive enuff!]it makes me ask the question,'do we all need to be in total control,all the time?'And if this is so,has that need been kicked off by ,at one point,the lack of control within a situation,a death,abuse etc etc,which ,in turn,has led to us having this disorder?so if we feel we can control any given situation,we feel no fear..ergo,we stay indoors????Was just a thought ,any one else feel this could be the root of it all???love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[chucklehound]

Welcome to NMP!

[Wenjoy]

Hi JayK
You are soooo right. The panic is horrid and its the queue thingy - its being trapped ina queue or sat in the drs awaitng your turn or sitting through a music recital- its the feeling- If I want to leave I cant. Which of course - you can- but coz we dont see anyone else behave like that wwe feel we must stay and be normal - how weird that we all feel trapped!!! I have put years of my life on hold because of the fear of panic when in shopqueues or sitting at the cinema and keep looking at the door in case I need to get out - any tips for all of us "trapped" panic people>?>>
Wenjoy x

[JayK]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hi JayK
You are soooo right. The panic is horrid and its the queue thingy - its being trapped ina queue or sat in the drs awaitng your turn or sitting through a music recital- its the feeling- If I want to leave I cant. Which of course - you can- but coz we dont see anyone else behave like that wwe feel we must stay and be normal - how weird that we all feel trapped!!! I have put years of my life on hold because of the fear of panic when in shopqueues or sitting at the cinema and keep looking at the door in case I need to get out - any tips for all of us "trapped" panic people&gt;?&gt;&gt;
Wenjoy x

<div align="right">Originally posted by Wenjoy - 19 May 2006 : 19:26:28</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I was surprised to find a well known doctor suggesting to a patient that the fear he experienced at Red Lights was probably because he 'had to be alone with himself'.
No way.
If you were at the traffic stop light by yourself in the middle of the night you would get 'moderate' fear at worst.
If you had 2-3 four cars (and a few up front too) then you start to panic.
Its always the same principle of 'cant get a way out'.
If you were in the 'Inside Lane' its even worse because you cant pull over anywhere.
At least in the outside lane it a possibility to pull onto the shoulder.

Same principle is behind the Queue (easily my worst one along with the red light)
The Plane or Subway same thing.

Its no surprise at all.. its the very fundamental purpose of the 'fight or flight' to have you desperately look for that 'Flight' direction out!
Dont see one?
Then now you realise that your only option is 'Fight' because no escape is available for the Flight anymore.

It really does seem to be helpful to stop and rationalise with yourself beforehand.
Actually take cognitive issue with the situation and ask yourself 'Is this really dangerous'
Is there any real threat here?
So what if I have to stand between two people and wait.

The Queue is the worst one it seems because you have a sense of 'coming up next' and you owe for products and you must come up with an 'answer' and meet someone.
So, you have a social situation going on there.

What I am going to suggest.. and please bear with me because Im just starting this technique - trying to make the panic attack happen.
Calling it to come on.
Trying to make it happen and then noticing the symtoms etc.

The problem is that this happened to work VERY well when I just happened to get in a Queue that was suddenly jammed with impatient customers and a brand new girl who had to keep 're scanning' each item and didnt know how to work the register lol.
the problem is that I wasnt quite prepared to try the technique and forgot all about 'calling it out' and 'absorbing it' and just kinda panicked as I would lol.

Today, I tried the technique again in a near empty store but i couldnt seem to get the Panic Attack to work.
I tried later in a busy movie rental store... but it didnt seem to happen.
Just low-grade dizziness.

Im thinking I have to do some more of this but its tough because I was not even experiencing panic attacks much anymore and now that im trying to relive them its highly uncomfortable.

I have some more situations coming up which will be more testing.
Today it was ... it was almost like I was 'disappointed' that nothing really happened.
Almost like the thrill was gone in it or something.

I will keep you posted on the results as I go along with the new technique of actually asking for the Panic and sorta 'recording it' and trying to make it happen even more.

[marie ross]

Hi

I have a horrible queue phobia, but have decided to go for it. My daughter needed some new shoes so i dragged my older son out with me, i know which shop i had to go into and went straight there, looking at the car-park i could see it was really busy, but i made myself walk in to the shop, legs are really shaking by now and i feel sick, i manage to walk to the shoe section and pick which shoes i want. I then walk to the dreaded QUEUE and it is massive, at least 20 people in front of me, i can't see no exits and it is really warm and loud. So i bottled it, just left the shoes and legged it. Feel pathetic, that i did'nt even manage to try and get in the queue, maybe if it was a bit less busy i might have been able to do it, or am i just making excuses for not even trying. One day i will try it, just not yet and not in that shop (far to busy).

Marie XXX