Reassurance please

[Coni]

Hi everyone,

I've got myself in a bit of a state. My husband has been unwell for a few weeks on and off with a very dodgy tummy (he had salmonella at the end of last year also). Anyway he doesnt seem to be getting any better and has made an appointment to see our GP on Monday. I know this is sensible but I've worked myself into a real panic over it.

I keep trying to convince myself and him that its something simple and nothing to worry about. At first we thought it was a bug or virus....then when it didnt improve I thought maybe he had IBS (hes always had a dodgy digestive system). Now I've been on the web and I'm thinking the worst. I feel sick and panicky...what if he has some sort of bowel cancer...hes only forty....I'm trying not to let him see I'm panicking cos I'm sure he is too. I just have this awful feeling something bad is going to happen. I never panic over my own health but I either totally underreact or completely overreact when it comes to those close to me.

I'm imagining all sorts of horrible outcomes and I cant stop my mind. I can hardly type for shaking. Thank god hes gone out...and the kids are out as I really need to pull myself together. I'm really scared ( I know this is selfish). Please can someone tell me I'm being stupid.

Coni X

[Daisybun]

Hi Coni
The worse thing you can do is look up symptoms on the web - been there and done it!! Not good!! There are lots of rather nasty bugs going around at the moment. try and keep positive, its good he's going to the GP most men don't. It could be that he's got an allergy to something that's upsetting him, especially if he's has probs for a few a few years. IBS is very common, especially if he has stress in his life, and who doesn't. Will be thinking of you, let us know how it goes.

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[Keitharcher]

Hi Coni

I agree with daisy about looking up symptoms, just look at it as a bit of discomfort until you have seen the medics. However you have done the right thing by making an appointment, the verdict will in all probability ease your minds and you will find its some sort of stomach bug. hope it all goes well for you and your husband

Keith

[Coni]

Thanks guys,

hes gone to out of hours at the local hospital cos hes in pain now too. I'm here withthe children and I'm trying so hard not to freak but I'm not succeeding. I'm so scared....and I have no one I can talk to...obviously need to try and get myself together for the kids...but now I'm here and dont know whats happening and hes there on his own.

I really feel as if I'm losing it....sorry i know I'm being a selfish cow. I'm a nurse which makes it worse cos I know the possibilities. I lost my mum less than a year ago and I cant bear the thought of anything else happening....sorry I'm really panicking now

[jackie]

coni is there no one who could mind the kids for you to go to him. i know it is hard but as a nurse you also know that many people visit casualty with bad stomachs only to find something simple causing it

could it even be an ulser, which i know many people have and it is not serious when found and treated. im sure you have nothing to worry about. please let us know how he gets on

you are not as alone as you think we are all here if you need us

all the best, im sure it is a simple thing

jackie

[Coni]

Thanks Jackie, I really need to give myself a shake...I try to reassure myself and the scary thoughts keep pushing to the front of my mind...I think I'm worse because Im here wondering. His family dont 'do' minding the kids .....and I dont want to worry them.....and I dont have anyone except my sister whos at work. Thanks for your reply though I'm grateful for someone to talk to.

Coni X

[feege]

Hi Coni

First of all you're not being stupid. Of course you are worried - it's the anxiety/panic on top that is making it all so much worse...

I suffer from terrible digestive problems and have had every test under the sun - they finally found about two months ago I have a hiatus hernia and duodenitis - it's taken so long to find out. Neither of them are serious and I am on medication that is finally sorting it out.... It is very very very common to have severe pain with IBS and if he had salmonella last year then his system may never have settled properly so it really really could be that.

He is right to go and get checked out but I reckon he'll come home soon absolutely fine. But even if he doesn't the chances of it being anything really serious are miniscule....

I think it would be great if you could go and join him, but if you get really worried and can't do that it is perfectly normal and understandable for you to phone the hospital to check on his progress....

I have been to A&E several times in absolute agony and come home again feeling both relieved and frustrated because I never had a conclusive explanation!

So, you're not stupid, you're just worried and stuck unable to do anything, a horrible position to be in. But if you can't go, just try and distract yourself, there's no point in being ill as well when he comes home!

I do hope he comes back really quickly and it's all sorted.

Take care hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Coni]

Thank you fee, your comment about the IBS makes sense, thank you so much. I always jump to the worst conclusion (never with myself only when my family are ill...I think I'm almost phobic about it). I'm trying now to calm down but have big red eyes now...had to tell the kids its hayfever (why cant I just look fragile and delicate when I cry instead of red,puffy and ugly lol).

Thanks fee

Coni X

[feege]

lol Coni - I bet you do look fragile and delicate hun!!! And what sort of heartless woman wouldn't get upset?!!!

Handy cover up though, the hayfever!!!

Hope you feel ok - just settle down and watch tv if you can - it'll all be sorted soon....

I wish I only panicked like that over others, but I do it over myself as well!!!

Take care xxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Alexandra]

Hi Coni

Sorry to hear your husband is not well. The Gp will be able to help him get things sorted out.
I know its hard not to worry when a loved one is ill but everything will be okay.
As the others say looking on the web at symptoms can do more harm than good.

Thinking of you both

Take Care

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[pips]

I can ony agree with what others have said. I do hope he will be ok he's in the best place. Here's a BIG reasurring HUG for you.

Take Care hun,

Love PIP'S X X

[Coni]

Thank you all so much....Alex and Pips thanks for the hugs, I really needed them.

Hubbys home now and gone to bed. The doctor at the hospital thinks its IBS and gave him an injection ( a muscle relaxant) to help with the pain and some tablets to bring home. He's still sore though. I've thought for years hes had IBS, but he seems to have been worse since he had salmonella a few months ago.

I know I overreacted....I'm a terrible worrier anyway and just went into overdrive. Useless in a crisis eh? (though not usually as bad as this). I'm not like this at work honest lol!

Anyway with a bit of luck the pain will settle and hell get a good sleep. Is it normal with IBS to have such severe pain? The injection has helped a bit but hasnt taken it away completely.

I feel totally drained now but dont think I'll be able to sleep.

I cant tell you all how much I appreciate your support...dont know what I wouldve done without you all tonight. Sorry for being such a wimp.

Coni X

[feege]

Hi Coni

It is quite common for the pain to be acute - the stomach is muscle and goes into spasm - if you think of any other muscle spasm - how painful it can be and imagine that in your tummy - not nice at all!!!

It will probably take a while to settle and he may need to get anti-spasmodics from the doc (colofac is most commonly prescribed) but I'm sure he'll be fine...

Hope you all sleep well xxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Coni]

Thanks Fee.....thats so reassuring. Think theyre all asleep now.

goodnight

Coni X

[pips]

Hi Conni,

Glad hubby is home & safe now.

I suffer badly with IBS and at times it can be very painful hun.

Here is a link you might find of interest

Irritable Bowel Syndrome (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=ibs)

Take care.

Love PIP'S X X X X

[jackie]

soooo glad you got some peace of mind

i hope you slept too

jackie

[Coni]

Hi guys,

thanks again for all your help and support last night....I kind of lost it a bit. Anyway the antispasmodics are helping a bit, though hes still a little tender (poor lamb lol). I think he slept...I stayed on the couch in case I disturbed him...cant say its the most comfortable night I've ever had but I'm just glad things have turned out ok. I totally panicked (am a bit ashamed now...). Im so glad I found this site...I'd have felt totally on my own otherwise.

thanks again

Coni X

[Coni]

Thanks pips, the link was really useful, think I'll print it off and let him read it.

Coni X

[Alexandra]

Hi Coni

It was good that you felt you could come on here & talk about how you were feeling & are feeling about your hubby.

Hope he & you are both doing okay today.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Coni]

Hi Alex

thanks for replying. He's still not right but hes got the GPs in the morning, though I dont know how hes going to get there as I need to go to work. Hopefully he'll get to the bottom of this. I think it is IBS but we just didnt realise how severe it could be.

Sorry I didnt reply sooner but yesterday was so busy with the kids activities and by last night I was shattered....now back to work today!

Anyway thanks again. Speak to you soon

Coni X

[feege]

Hi Coni

I hope they sort him out this morning - is he improving?

Take care and I hope work is ok for you xxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Coni]

Hi Fee,

he seems to be a bit better, antispasmodics definitely seem to be working though GP has changed them from buscopan to merbentyl (dont know why). Our GP doesnt know if its irritable bowel, has taken off some bloods and basically wants to wait and see what happens. I thought maybe he would have been referred for further investigations ( maybe a scope) but we'll just have to wait and see (really hard for me as I always want answers yesterday lol!) Main thing is he seems a lot better thank goodness (now I can see I was overreacting!)

thanks for asking Fee

Coni X