View Full Version : Constant Heightened Sense of Anxiety
Hi - I'm new here and have been suffering with progressively worsening anxiety since a bad experience with the birth control pill and hospitalization 3 months ago. What started as health anxiety now seems to be consuming me 24x7.
Certain symptoms related to my experience above send me into panic attacks, but what I'm also finding is that I now have a general heightened sense of anxiety almost continuously. For example, the smallest stress triggers it, like a heated conversation, social situations, anything that triggers adrenalin. My reactions are so out of proportion to the trigger and I get all the classic panic attack symptoms - muscle tightness, dizziness, heart racing - over little stuff.
I also have great trouble sleeping, after a week of insomnia and night jolts I'm exhausted. It feels like a kind of adrenal fatigue!
What's so annoying is that even when I wake up to a day with little worries or stresses ahead of me, within 10 minutes I am frazzled, tense and desperate for answers as to why I'm feeling this way, even when I have nothing on my mind! Of course, Dr Google sends me into despair, another habit I have to kick.
My doc gave me Xanax which helps with the sleeping, but I've only taken a few and want to avoid at all costs. Another doc at the same clinic is testing my hormones, and she also gave me Zoloft - I haven't processed the prescription because I am not depressed and don't want to be on meds permanently.
I know your nervous system almost gets reprogrammed when dealing with anxiety, and things that might not have triggered panic now do, but I just don't know how to deal with this. I can't take Xanax 24x7!
I'm trying breathing, relaxation the works. So desperate and concerned, my hubby is struggling too. He just can't understand what's happening to his previously happy go lucky wife!
How do you deal with this constant heightened anxiety? There is lots of good info about dealing with the panic attacks, but this pervasive anxiety is killing me! Thanks for any advice.
cathycrumble
30-08-11, 14:02
Hi mrs bee I have the same thing. lots happend last year , one was 3 days in hospital with a water infection and I have now devoped a blood pressure phobia. But I know that my nerves are sensitised because of the stress i went through, marraige break up, I lost my job and moved house so that's why I am like this. I am stopping my antidepressents today as like you I don't like taking tablets. I would recommend a book called self help for you nerves by Claire weekes She is really good at making you understand and the fact that everything becomes exagerated. hope this helps
Cathy xx
Hi Cathy - sorry to hear you are going through this too. I actually read Claire Weekes book and while it helped me understand the issue it didn't really talk to me in terms of practical approaches that I could apply.
Has anyone tried the online CBT programs that you can buy? I'm so desperate and my insurance doesn't cover CBT.
cathycrumble
30-08-11, 14:35
I havn't tried them i am waiting for CBt ifs free here lol well on the NHS. I am in Liverpool UK. I know what you mean about the claire weekes book it is hard to put in to practice and it does take courage I am not saying you don't have any but I know i do find it hard when I am in a panic.
Cathy xx
Hello Mrs. Bee and welcome to NMP :)
You described your anxiety very well. You do seem to be in a heightened and all consuming state at the moment, you must be exhausted :hugs: I have to say that one of the first things that occurred to me as I read your post was to wonder if you were in peri-menopause, so it's good that the doc is doing a hormone test. I have no idea what age you are and I do hope this doesn't cause you offence. It might also be a good idea to have your thyroid checked also. Wise to rule out any physical reason first I think.
May I ask if you have suffered from anxiety in the past or did this experience three months ago trigger your first attack? You also mentioned that the doc gave you Zoloft but you didn't say if you were taking them. I mention this as this med can cause an initial marked increase in anxiety. My experience of them was that they sent mine through the roof.. I couldn't tolerate them.. but people differ.
Keep posting and let us know how you are coping. Take care now and all the best.
Belle x
Mrs. Bee - I just saw your post re CBT. There is a thread called CBT4PANIC under the Therapy section on this forum. I haven't looked into it in any great detail.. but you may find something helpful there.
Belle x
Belle - no offence taken whatsoever, I actually had the peri-menopause conversation with my doctor because I told her I thought I had a hormone imbalance. I had a bad reaction to the pill and since coming off it I have been sick with peri-like symptoms. I'm 39.
She is also checking my thyroid - so you are spot on!
I had never suffered from anxiety before, but when I reacted to the pill I had a panic attack, and since then have had several. I honestly think the pill messed me up, I hda never been on it before and immediately stopped after only 6 pills. My reaction was then a little PTS and cold turkey - nausea, dizziness, tingling, fatigue. etc. But the anxiety has been a constant and got worse in the past two weeks, especially when I am PMS'ing.
I didn't take Zoloft - I have no interest in it given how sensitive I am to prescription meds.
I have spent thousands of dollars on this - seen a naturopath, ENT, chiropractor, and three different primary care physicians. My most trusted doctor told me it was all anxiety, but he also recognized that the pill messed me up, but he wouldn't test my hormones. While he was on holiday I saw a lady doc who did. Still waiting on the results.
It feels chemical to me, in which case I don't know if CBT will help, but I sure would like to give it a go, not an option with my healthcare plan though so I'm hunting online for a self-help solution.
The Pill messed me up too. Always does, and whenever I come off it, i feel better, then forget, and take it again after about a year or so.
NEVER taking it again, I promised myself this time. My first normal period started now after stopping the Pill just over a month ago when I was having really bad panic attacks, unwanted thoughts, constant anxiety... and remembered, hey I felt like this before, and it was the Pill!
It's a struggle but you'll get back to hormonal normal in time, I always have. There's two sides to it- trying to get rid of the bad thought habits you may have gained, and getting your natural chemicals back in order. Personally I found when your chemicals and hormones are working as they should, your thoughts will naturally be more optimistic and your body will be more calm without any effort.
For me, the best way to get your chemicals back in order was to:
- Take a vitamin B complex
- Exercise to get rid of excess adrenaline and increase serotonin
- Cut out as MUCH sugar as possible. I completely stopped all refined sugar and felt so much better. Use honey or eat fruit instead, in moderation
- Eat more raw food, try to go for at least half the plate
- Cut down on all refined, processed food like white bread. Go for whole grains
- Sweat to detox, go to a sauna, steam yourself, etc.
- Drink plenty of fresh water.
- As much as you are able, surround yourself with positivity, and count things you are grateful for when you're feeling low, to help your mind cope
- Whenever a negative feeling arises, ask yourself, which positive statement could I think right now which would hit home the most? i.e. 'I am loved and wanted' or 'I am strong'. See which you are crying out for, and use negative emotions as nothing more than arrows towards these positive statements
- Use lavender oil on your pillow and drink camomile tea
- Look up 'oil pulling' on the net and give it a go. It sounds crazy but it seems to have really worked for me
Best of luck.
Thanks LaNae - honestly I only took 6 birth control pills and it put me through hell!
That oil pulling looks interesting, I will try this. Thanks for all the other tips, I am trying many of them, it's hard right! Best x
Hi - like many on here I suffer from insomnia. It kicked in with avengeance 10 days ago. I can't get to sleep - I lie there very calm, although I am aware of the adrenalin in me. Then I get the jolts everytime I start to drift off. It's like my body won't let me sleep!
This can go on for hours.
Another annoying and worrying symptom I have is an ache in my left arm. This used to come with pins and needles too, but now as soon as the anxiety flares up it just aches - on a bad day, this can be constant.
I don't want to take drugs, but I've tried melatonin and OTC sleeping pills and nothing works. Deep breathing, lavender oils the works. It's like this heightened anxiety just won't cut me a break - even when I don't feel I have anything to be anxious about. I did try half a Xanax a couple of nights ago and that took the edge off and helped a little, but I can't take Xanax all he time!
I am exhausted and it makes me feel ill. Will this ever end? I have had so little sleep lately I feel like I'm living off adrenalin.
cymraig_chris
31-08-11, 20:53
my advice and opinions are all contained here:
www.nothingworks.weebly.com
I sincerely hope you may find something of use therein.
Hi ... just to introduce myself. Senior male living in East Yorks UK. iI am truly at my wits end as to how to deal with my anxiety problem. It has ebbed and flowed with me for several years now and it has got to the point that friends and associates can no longer understand the days and sometimes weeks when I just cannot function and become reclusive. Symptoms such as tight chest, constant aching muscles particularly neck and shoulders. Complete lethargy but need I go on when I realise I am speaking to fellow sufferers. I have done so much research on the problem and it is so easy to say that by dwelling on the problem and even thinking about your problem simply fuels the dreaded anxiety symptoms. However I am convinced that this is the case. I just know that if I can crawl out of my prison and concentrate on something or someone that takes my mind of this evil scourge I will feel so much better. But when it has me in its grips I am such a wimp and easy prey for this dreadful scourge. I am quite elderly now and live on my own.....this should not be a problem because I am reasonbly fit ......... played golf regularly but all this is on hold at present and I just wonder if I am ever going to get out of this awful mess. Escept for fellow sufferers no one appears to understand even the GP's. All they can throw at you is medication. Is it really that some people are just more susceptible to anxiety than others...... please is there a magic switch. I have felt so down in my whole life.
Hi
This is my first day on the site although I've read the forum and found it really useful.
The reason I wanted to post today is,like you,I seem to be in constant stae of anxiety,with terrible whole body tremors and what I can only describe a fidgity uncontrollable hand and leg twitching. It happens as soon as I wake up and isn't a response to anything either internal or external..at least that's how it feels.I'm waking up two or three times a night,not eating and I'm exhausted. Im doing a lot of crying because I hate feeling like this. I've been on citalopram for about seven weeks and up until the last week I was doing ok..not joyus but I was having longer and longer periodsr each day where I almost (almost!) felt normal.This last week has really been awful and my doc has reduced the citalopram to 10 mgs and given me some diazepam. The doc kept asking what the trigger was and honestly there wasn't one..I'm so determined to get better that I'm not going to lie to the doc!!
I know there is no quick fix for this but I feel like I want to come off the citalopram so I can distinguish side effects from real symptoms.
I don't believe I'm depressed,had depression in my life and know what that feels like..it's the tremors and twitching and the fact that I get anxious about that which is doing my head in.I have got anxiety but it hasn't been at this physical level before and it doesn't feel like a full on panic attack..no racing heart no sweating no fight or flight
I've really rambled on sorry..I'm sure my posts will start to get more concise! Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated.
Thanks
A friend tipped me off to something - medication. Ever since my dr gave me Xanax, and I only took a few my anxiety worsened. It's very easy to become dependent on benzos and ADs, even after taking a few - I believe the initial few weeks on SSRIs are tough too. On Xanax, in between doses you can experience what is known as rebound anxiety - like you Wotnews, with no triggers whatsoever, the symptoms that followed included insomnia, worse anxiety than you had before, tremors, jolts, jitters, etc. This is one of the main reasons people become addicted, because they take another dose to achieve a calming effect and get stuck in a vicious cycle. Your nervous brain is craving the medicine and needs to re-programme itself to do without. Like you say it isn't a full on panic attack, and is often unprompted, for me it's worse at night and in the morning, when the brain is tired.
This link explains it: http://www.anxiety2calm.com/blogger/2010/08/xanax-rebound-anxiety.html
I checked my diary of symptoms and this all started to worsen for me when I started to take Xanax. Each person is different in how they react to drugs, I just know I am highly intolerant. I hope you find some peace and answers.
Hi mrs bee
Thanks for your reply. I keep a diary of meds and I like you think it has heightened my anxiety. It is early days for me ( about 6 weeks since first big panic attack) and this forum really helps to know I'm not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel,albeit a long windy tunnel that goes up some very steep hills!,!
Thanks again..peace is the goal isn't it
Hi Kentrev
Sounds like you are in a bad place at the moment.I think this a day by day week by week sometimes hour by hour condition and we have to really celebratebthe good times..someTimes for me that can be 5 minutes without a negative thought!It doesn't work for everyone but I've found talking to people who have shared experiences really helps which is why this site is so helpful.Has your Gp suggested a talking therapy..they should and it will be free.
I'm probably telling you stuff you already know..I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Ive had really bad few days but this afternoon feels better..it might not lastvand I know how it feels when you just want it to stop but don't keep it all inside..sometimes even writing it down helps.
Probably not been much help but good luck :)
I think sometimes when something like this happens we go in search of lots of remedies and build a forest when it helps to go back to the beginning to examine the tree that started it all...
My feeling is the cause is the easy bit to understand. The "cure" is the difficult bit because the cure is already held within the mind. It just got covered over by events.
So, to break it down, based on what you posted originally, this is what I feel has happened...
a bad experience with the birth control pill and hospitalization 3 months ago.
This is the "trauma" that started the chain of events. This created alot of stess which has left you "sensitive" to triggers that remind you of this traumatic experience.
Certain symptoms related to my experience above send me into panic attacks
Every time you experience a reminder (a trigger), your sensitivity to it now send you into a panic attack because of your fear of your trauma happening again.
, but what I'm also finding is that I now have a general heightened sense of anxiety almost continuously.
What then happens is that this increased sensitivity creates constant emotional stress because you're living in so much fear.
For example, the smallest stress triggers it, like a heated conversation, social situations, anything that triggers adrenalin.
This then makes you vulnerable to outside added stresses.
My reactions are so out of proportion to the trigger and I get all the classic panic attack symptoms - muscle tightness, dizziness, heart racing - over little stuff.
These outside stresses then add to your existing emotional stress causing panics to be triggered which in turn create anxious feelings which then triggers your health anxiety creating more emotional stress and so on in a cycle.
I also have great trouble sleeping, after a week of insomnia and night jolts I'm exhausted. It feels like a kind of adrenal fatigue!
Living in a constant state of fear, constantly analysing how you feel in case a symptom you fear surfaces then means you have restless nights because your mind is always on guard. You never allow it to switch off because you're too afraid to let go from watching out for feelings.
What's so annoying is that even when I wake up to a day with little worries or stresses ahead of me, within 10 minutes I am frazzled, tense and desperate for answers as to why I'm feeling this way, even when I have nothing on my mind! Of course, Dr Google sends me into despair, another habit I have to kick.
You then get over tired, irritable and impatient. You get frustrated. All of these emotions heap on more pressure and stress causing you to feel more fear, panics etc.
My doc gave me Xanax which helps with the sleeping, but I've only taken a few and want to avoid at all costs. Another doc at the same clinic is testing my hormones, and she also gave me Zoloft - I haven't processed the prescription because I am not depressed and don't want to be on meds permanently.
When we reach this point we often visit the doctor looking for a cure and they often then prescribe ad's to improve our mood and to help us sleep but what ad's don't do is tackle our stresses and fears.
How do you deal with this constant heightened anxiety? There is lots of good info about dealing with the panic attacks, but this pervasive anxiety is killing me! Thanks for any advice.
This is the difficult part and if it were easy none of us would be on here But it Can be done but not simply by taking a pill.
As I said in the beginning, the cure is already in your mind. Think bak to "that happy wif that used to be". Where has she gone? Actually, nowhere. She's Still there. She's just been through a very traumatic experience that has frightened her so much that it's now affecting every day. So, the cure is to go and find the woman you Are that you've lost.
This means rebuilding your confidence to how it used to be. If you imagine walking along a street countless times without any worry then one day falling down a hole, you'll "forget" how you used to be because every future day you'll then be "afraid of another hole appearing".
You need to remind yourself that before this trauma occurred, you were fine and the only thing keeping your anxiety alive is "you"...(your fear). Every time a feeing arises, learn to ignore it. It will go on its own. If you keep dweling on this feeling, it'll keep attacking you so forget it.
Try to tell yourself that it is "safe" to forget your feelings. Your feelings were fine before so they're still fine to leave alone.
Don't try to control these feelings. When they arise, move your mind to something else to keep you occupied. Let the feelings through ou. Don't try to fight them or block them. Allow your body to keep relaxed. If you alow your body to tense up, you'll feel stressed and the cycle will begin.
If a ghost shouted "boo", you can either feel fear, get stressed and freze or you can say "boo" back. It can't harm you. It's only power is in its ability to make you tense up by frightening you.
That's where you've lost your confidence and confidence is key. Once somethin like this happens, we become consumed with worry and self-doubt so e have to try and remind ourselves how we used to be and that this was just a bad experience that has knocked us sideways. We just have to regain our composure and get our mind back on track as it was before.
There are lots of techniques etc that can help us get back on track but the one thing I always remember is this - "Forget aniety and it Will forget you". In other words, learn to treat it like a bad diet. It only hangs around if you keep feeding it. Starve it and you'll soon regain your old good diet. The more you analyse your feelings and look for cures, the more you'll keep your fear alive and feed your anxious feelings.
I knw that sounds simple when it isn't but if you open the door and are greeted by a growling lion that just sits and stares at you while you stare at it back, your anxiety and fear will stay alive but if you can learn to shut the door and forget it was even there, your anxiety will disappear and so will the lion. We all have lions that make us feel afraid but we just have to try and ignore them and keep moving forward as we were before they appear. You can never fight them off because life is full of things that can frighten us but sometimes constantly watching out and staring at what we're afraid of will just keep us constantly anxious. Trauma does that to us but we can learn to move on. It just takes time and Patience.:bighug1:
Bill - thank you so much for your time and kindness in explaining so eloquently and lucidly where I am to a tee. You actually brought tears to my eyes - 1) because you are spot on and 2) because no one has actually taken the time to explain in sequence what I needed to hear (soup to nuts)! I've chased doctor after doctor (ENT, chiro, neurologist, 3 primary care physicians and a naturopath, and all have their differing opinions that have taken me down paths that led nowhere while emptying my wallet on the way).
Everything you say resonates. I've started some self-help CBT which is helping. Trying to normalize my physiology after the Xanax, and striving to regain the old me. I've had enough and that is the kick up the butt I need, I know I am in there somewhere.
I am going to print out what you wrote and keep it on my desk...so when the lion rears his head and I can and will have the confidence to slam the door shut in his face.
Thank you again....MrsBee
MrsBee:hugs:
You're most welcome. I'm just glad to be of some help.:hugs:
I guess in some ways I've been where you are now and tried most things before I stopped to think how it all began for me. I don't think we should keep going over the past but I do think that understanding what happened helps us then to develop a plan to move forward. Sometimes I feel anxiety weaves a web of confusion until we feel stuck not knowing how to break free and that's when we need a little outside help.
Often I feel we do need professional help, at least to explain things to us and to show us ways to cope but personally, once a psychologist explained my underlying causes, I then thought about what I needed to do to help myself and from then I've just learnt what works for me through my own experiences.
I'm hoping that now you can see what happened and that you're already developing your own personal package to help you move forward, things will only improve for you. It will take time and you most probably will have setbacks so don't be impatient and don't be pushed off track because with willpower and determination you'll get there, I'm quite Sure of that. That's all I wish for you.
If you do need any advice and you think I might be able to help, feel free to pm me and I'll always do my best for you. I can't promise I know everything or that I'm always right but it would be a pleasure to at least try to help you. All I would hope for in return is to keep you always smiling.:):hugs:
Thanks Bill, yes, I agree, someone showing you the way, even if it's just a signpost ("this way, don't look back"), is a start. You have been an enormous help to me, thank you.
MrsBee:hugs:
I was just glad to be of help. It was a pleasure and if you need any further help you know how to find me.:):hugs:
Wotnews:hugs:
I've been reading your posts but it's difficult to know what's happening because I can't tell how long you've suffered or when it all started. However, something else that can confuse things are meds. When they appear to be helping, it's fine but when a sufferer is still feeling ill it's often difficult to determine whether it's just a sufferers underlying anxiety or whether their anxiety is actually being made worse by the particular meds they've been prescribed. For instance, although side-effects normally wear off early on, I do feel that sometimes meds can actually make things worse without the sufferer realising because the effects just mimic the original anxiety.
To give you an example, if you look up the side-effects of your meds you'll see that all the symptoms you've described are listed in them including trouble sleeping, loss of appetite etc. Would you also believe that alot of meds actually list "feeling anxious and panic disorders" as side-effects. You see why it's so difficult to determine which is which and also why I think doctors have such a hard job knowing themselves determining what is anxiety and what is meds related.
Like I say, often meds do help to ease symptoms and a sufferer feels fine on them but when things don't improve the doctor often uses trial and error until they find something that seems to suit a sufferer.
I was precribed countless ad's. One would help for a while and then the anxiety would get worse. The dose would be increased to the maximum and then another ad would be tried and so on until they figured out that all my anxiety was being caused at home and at work so although they were tempering the smoke, the fire was still raging out of control. I even found that although diazepam helped because of it's sedative effect, I didn't sleep well and experienced panic attacks etc. All these effects stopped when I came off them but of course because it's addictive it took me 6 months until I was able to and even then if I tried to reduce them too quickly my anxiety would shoot through the roof and I felt much worse.
When anxiety doesn't improve when taking meds, I think another med could be tried to see if the original meds were causing certain symptoms but if none of the symptoms change then I think it's most likely that the underlying anxiety is the cause. If that's the case, diazepam might help through its sedative effect but it mustn't be taken daily because you'll get addicted to them. Otherwise, it's a case of determining exactly what is that makes you feel so frightened then tackling those fears through CBT or self-help.
If you're happy to post more about your background I'll see if I can piece things together for you.:hugs:
Kentrev
played golf regularly but all this is on hold at present and I just wonder if I am ever going to get out of this awful mess.
I honestly feel that to "get out of your awful mess", we have to push ourselves to do what we feel is impossible because of anxiety. Anxiety controls us by making us feel this way but when we push past it, we find it loses its power just like being greeted by a ghost but walking through it rather than locking ourselves away. It has no substance. It's only power is the fear it creates in us.
Hi bill
Thanks for response.A bit of background..I have had anxiety for what feels like ages.I was an anxious child,teenager and carried it in to adulthood. I had a breakdown about 10 years ago after a relationship breakdown. and really I don't think I ever fully recovered.I know I lost my confidence;
I am a trainer and was always able to to this to big groups on my own..I loved it.I still do but can't do it on my own.My cbt therapist says this is fine..why do it on my own if I can do it with someone else. That made sense.
Also about 12 years ago I had to be admitted as an emergency to have an ovarian cyst removed..it was pre cancerous.Since then I have had sometimes all consuming health anxiety..to the point where I feel I'll! My gps is a really good practise and have been supportive and not dismissive..test after test and what do you know..my heart is healthy and lots of my pain is due to poor posture. All logical but sometimes I find logic hard.
For about the last three months I've been aware that my anxiety levels were increasing,I had two big panic attacks which I've honestly never had before. In the past I've had minor panic attacks..bit of heart racing but I've managed them.
At the moment my circumstances are stressful,my job is vulnerable and I can't afford not to work.Home is hard too as my current partner has depression..but home still feels like a safe place to be.
I was doing ok over the last few weeks..not great but I was going to work enjoying doing what I was able to do and being around colleagues.My cbt guy said I didn't need to see him every week but the door was open if I needed him.:unsure:
I took a big dip last week..couldn't think of a trigger so I think I blamed it on the drugs. It was horrible Bill I was shaking and vomiting and felt like I was losing control ,horrible thoughts and there was no break to it..I had diazepam but for some reason didn't take it.My best friend came and stayed with me which was really helpful
Got in at the gps on Monday..he said I looked like I was about to pop.! I think
I was!! He gave me some more diazepam and booked another session with the cbt guy
I've been taking the diazepam and I'm so pleased just to have a break from that level of anxiety. I've snoozed all day today and finally I'm eating food!! I'm really aware that I need to get a bit stronger physically to help myself get
through this.Bill I love just being a bit calmer,watching the telly,chatting to friends..feeling more like my normal self. Before last week,over the last month I have managed to feel like this for a good few hours everyday.
I truly believe there is light at the end of this tunnel. I'm scared of medication cos as you said the side effects mimic panic but I haven't stopped taking them.
Sorry if I've rambled..please feel free to ask any questions
Thanks again Bill
Wotnews:hugs:
By the sound of things there are alot of similarities with my experiences. See if the following is on the right lines -
The doc kept asking what the trigger was and honestly there wasn't one..
In your case like mine, from what you've said, I tend to agree with you that there wasn't a specific trigger but rather a build of stresses until your mind told you it couldn't take anymore. What often happens is that instead of an actual traumatic experience that triggers a panic attack which then leads to health anxiety etc, in your case it was a build up of stresses that became too much for your mind to cope with and this then can also lead to health anxiety because of the anxious feelings the constant stress causes. As you say here... my circumstances are stressful,my job is vulnerable and I can't afford not to work.Home is hard too as my current partner has depression..but home still feels like a safe place to be.....For about the last three months I've been aware that my anxiety levels were increasing
You say home is your safe place but my feeling is it still creates stress for you because of your partners condition which would naturally worry and stress you. Instead of being a safe place, I feel it's more of a trap because you're not able to escape from your worries at work because you're coming home to worries as well. You have no outlet or respite so this trapped feeling both at home and at work will stress you causing you to feel panicky.
All these worries and no escape will create alot of stress until your mind says it can't take anymore which is when anxious symptoms will surface. Once the anxious symptoms surface, they then trigger your health anxiety making you then focus on your feelings. This then adds more stress and worry which your mind can't cope with because of the already huge stresses you're having to take on board.
For about the last three months I've been aware that my anxiety levels were increasing,I had two big panic attacks which I've honestly never had before.
The panic attacks would have most likely been the result of all the pressures building up combined with the trapped feeling you'll be feeling. Whenever we experience too much stress our minds will feel the need to escape but when we can't we'll experience a panic attack.
I've been on citalopram for about seven weeks
about 6 weeks since first big panic attack
However, because you appear to have started your meds just a week before your first big attack, there could be a connection but not necessarily. Your attack could simply have happened anyway due to the build of stresses.
I seem to be in constant stae of anxiety,with terrible whole body tremors and what I can only describe a fidgity uncontrollable hand and leg twitching. It happens as soon as I wake up and isn't a response to anything either internal or external..at least that's how it feels.I'm waking up two or three times a night,not eating and I'm exhausted. Im doing a lot of crying
Likewise, the above can be a result of side-effects but because you've been feeling like this for so long, I think they're much more likely to be caused by your stress and worries but the meds "could" also contribute to these feelings. It's hard to say.
it's the tremors and twitching and the fact that I get anxious about that which is doing my head in.
Again, these could be being causedby your stress or the meds because they're listed as side-effects. The only sure way to know is to ask yourself if you were experiencing them before you started taking them. Otherwise it's a case of finding out when you stop taking them before you'll know which is the actual cause of them.
Whichever is the cause, they're triggering your health anxiety so it's important to know what you're dealing with before you can decide the right course of action.
I have got anxiety but it hasn't been at this physical level before and it doesn't feel like a full on panic attack..no racing heart no sweating no fight or flight
I think this is what we would call General Anxiety because your constant anxious state due to all your stresses and worries.
This last week has really been awful and my doc has reduced the citalopram to 10 mgs and given me some diazepam.
As for a road to recovery, this would be what I would do but it's only my suggestion -
The doctor has reduced your citalopram which I think is a step in the right direction because by the sound of things, they're not really helping enough and I can understand why. The reason would be due to your situation. You have alot of stress to deal with which is causing alot of worry making you feel trapped and these feelings are all causing your symptoms.
My feeling is that you could consider gradually stopping the citalopram (with your doctors direction of course). You mustn't just stop them without consulting him first.
If you could manage that, you would then know for certain if the meds had anything to do with your symptoms. If the symptoms ease, so much the better but there is also your back up plan which is diazepam.
Some doctors don't like prescribing them because of their addictiveness but unlike citalopram, they do have a sedative effect which you've discovered because you say I've been taking the diazepam and I'm so pleased just to have a break from that level of anxiety. I've snoozed all day today and finally I'm eating food!!
Like you say, diazepam will give you a break from your constant anxiety which is what you badly need But you Mustn't take the diazepam daily or long-term or you Will get addicted to them and you'll then have more problems as I found. No one warned me and after taking them daily for 3 years, it then took me 6 months before I could get off them. However, if you take the diazepam on an "as and when basis", they will provide valuable breaks for you for your mind to re-charge. They will provide you respite.
Along side the diazepam you also have your cbt therapist who will help you with relaxation techniques and methods to cope with your worries. It's important you learn how to relax because then health worries won't feel so strong and nor will the anxious feelings.
Finally, you definitely need an outlet away from work And home so try to get out to meet friends rather than them coming to you. You need a change of environment from your trap. Often what feels safe to us is really a prison. For instance, a snail will feel safe in its shell but fear will follow it to reside with it because the snail will feel too afraid to venture out. That fear and living with the stress it causes then causes the panic you're feeling so it's really important, no matter how anxious you feel, that you get a change of scenery and talk to others about "anything". Often finding people to talk to about things unrelated to anxiety can act as a good distraction. When we're enjoying ourselves we forget our worries and so feel better able to cope when we have to return to them. At the moment your life is surrounded by worry and fear so you really need to find the respite just as diazepam will give your mind a chance to rest.
I am certain you will get better once you find ways to cope with and ease your pressures.
It's not always easy to get a full picture so see if that make any sense...or if you don't agree with anything, just let me know and I'll try again for you.:hugs:
Hi bill
Thanks so much.Loads of what you say makes sense.in fact I really found going to work,which I was doing up until last week,really helpful.It was a distraction and normality and because I had told my manager the situation she was really supportive and I was able to do short days and come and go when I needed.Plus it was a break from home.My workplace is great..it's the bigger organisation which is causing all the upheaval and insecurity..as a team we all get on and can have a laugh and support each other.
I've used the diazepam everyday since Monday and it has really helped..last night I slept until 8 which is fantastic. But i dont want to use it long term..makes me too snoozy! In your last post to me you said something like fear escalates panic and this has become my mantra!!
In a weird way my health anxiety has lessened ..for some reason even in the middle of panic I can be logical about the fact that I'm not dying.In terms of the meds the reason I think they have had a negative effect is because I didn't feel this bad before I started taking them..yes I was anxious but not this heightened state.But as you say it's chicken and egg and hard to work out.
Mornings are bad for me but evenings have been much better.
I do want to get out of the house..once I can stop sleeping and go seeing
People..I've just felt immobilised over the past few days.
Thanks bill for taking the time ..I appreciate it and any other comments would be really welcomed.I haven't really worked the site out yet or whether it's possible to do private messaging..not a problem if not as ny stuff might help others
Thanks again xxx
Thanks for taking the time..I really appreciate it
Thanks bill..any other comments would be really appreciated
Wotnews:hugs:
Regarding the diazepam I really would advise that you're very cautious about taking them daily for too long because firstly, there is a real danger of addiction and secondly, you may well find they start losing their effect as your body gets too used to them. If you get addicted to them you'll have a terrible job coming off them because of the withdrawal symptoms so I'd suggest you at least cut down to every other day before trying to cope without them completely. They are most effective when you take them as and when required during really bad attacks but not taken daily. I have known people who have taken them for so long that they'll never be able to come off them so please be very careful.
I am a little suspicious about the tremors and uncontrollable twitching because they can certainly be side-effects of ad's Also the heightened anxiety can actually be caused by meds but the other symptoms you've described could well be as a result of the stresses you're feeling. If you feel you've felt worse since starting the citalopram I'd certainly suggest that you think about coming of them. You can always try an alternative if you still feel you need something that isn't addictive like for instance the diazepam. Some ad's like amitriptyline I've found can help you sleep and they're not addictive as such.
By the way, restless nights are simply due to an anxious mind. Even when we sleep our minds never switch off. We live out our worries in our dreams and nightmares. Often though you will find that meds can cause insomnia and nightmares. I can remember once shouting in my sleep due to the meds I was taking because of extreme nightmares which stopped once I stopped taking them. There are alot of side-effects that can surface but often meds don't cause any problems. You never can tell what they may or may not cause until you start taking them. It's just that sometimes as you maybe finding they can produce anxiety symptoms themselves without the sufferer realising they're to blame.
Mornings are bad for me but evenings have been much better.
This I think is very common. It's normally because our subconscious is remembering how anxious we felt the day before so we're "expecting" to feel just as anxious for the day ahead. Every day feels like an ordeal to get through so we automatically feel anxious when we wake because we're afraid of having to face the anxious symptoms we're expecting to surface due to the stresses we know that exist in our daily routines. You would probably find that if you had a really good day without any anxious feelings, you would wake the following day without feeling anxious because that expectation would no longer exist because you would be looking forward to getting up.
I do want to get out of the house..once I can stop sleeping
My feeling is if you attempt to cut down on the diazepam, you would feel less sleepy which would then enable you to get out. It's true that you may feel more anxious but you'll find that once you force yourself to get out, you'll feel better and in that way hopefully create a new routine which will enable you to stop the meds as you start enjoying yourself more.
One last thought, if you feel able to go back to work then try not to leave it too long because you may find the longer you stay away, the harder it will be to go back and as you say, I think if you can try to ignore the worries about the future, mixing with your colleagues would do you good. I'm sure that they also will share your concerns so don't be afraid to talk openly about how it's making you feel. If they are good friends I'm sure they'll be understanding. Bottling worries and anxieties is always bad for us because they fester causing more tension and anxious feelings. We have to finds ways to release them. When you're ready, see if they'll let you do short days as before or just go in for a short week to help you build your confidence back up. Don't force yourself though. You hav to feel ready and looking forward to it or you could well feel worse if you attempt it too soon.
Regarding pm's, you're always welcome to pm me. Just click on my name and a menu will appear from which you then select "send pm" (I think!) but as you say, I always hope that something that's posted will help others in some way or another.:hugs:
Hi bill
Thanks again.
I only took one diazepam yesterday,first thing and had quite a good day. I went out and visited a friend and had a nice evening surfing the web ( not searching for answers just mindless surfing!)
I fell asleep without diazepam and only woke up once,sleeping until 8. I was a bit agitated when I woke up but it is passing. Part of what has made me feel so much better is that I have started eating again and sleeping better.
I will only take the Diaz as and when I need them.
I'll speak to my doc on Monday about the citalopram,altho I'm only on 10 mg now.
Thanks for being there Bill
Wotnews:hugs:
Something you've said to remember -
I went out and visited a friend and had a nice evening surfing the web ( not searching for answers just mindless surfing!)
I fell asleep without diazepam and only woke up once,
"Freedom" - you escaped your stresses by getting out into a different environment which would help to relieve tension from feeling trapped due to stress at home and at work.
"Distraction" - you enjoyed yourself with a friend doing something away from anxiety. Enjoyment acts as a very good distraction from thinking about worries and how you're feeling. Anxiety feeds off our worrying but when we're enjoying ourselves we starve anxiety.
"Slept well" - going to bed feeling as relaxed as possible after an enjoyable evening will mean we sleep better and therefore we have a better chance of feeling more refreshed and relaxed when we wake. If we go to bed feeling anxious, we'll have a restless night and the lack of good sleep will mean we'll wake feeling tired and more anxious.
"A good habit" - a good habit based on the types of example above will lessen the need for meds because we'll be feeling happier in ourselves. The more stress we feel, the more anxious we become and therefore the more we worry until we reach a point of not being able to cope. Anxiety can become our ruler by being a bad habit we have to break free off and examples such as finding ways to reduce stress and replacing with bringing enjoyment back into our lives will mean we'll feel happier about life and therefore in ourselves.
Stress takes many forms such as a traumatic experience, emotional stress in our past, stress in the present such as at work or at home etc and often when we feel stressed, intrusive thoughts gain power making us worry more until we reach a point of anxious feelings or panic making us worry about our health etc causing more anxious feelings and so on...and so the cycle begins. Therefore, if you aim at tackling the underlying causes rather than the symptoms they produce, you have a better chance of regaining your life. Even if there is nothing we can do about the stresses we're having to deal with, we can still find respite which gives our minds a chance to break the cycle by bringing enjoyment in.
Often we feel the need to be in control of everyone we care about and everything around us. This control causes stress so when people say we have to learn how to relax, it means letting go of feeling responsible for everything and being less intense. We often tend to try and take on more than we can cope with because we feel we can't say no. We have to remember our limitations and delegate when possible. Anyway, that's along other thoughts.
When you go back to the doctor I wouldn't be surprised, if you want to, that he'll agree to you coming off the citalopram. You appear to be doing so much better and you have the diazepam as back up, my feeling is that if you carry on as you are remembering the good evening you had above and how it helped, you'll soon be feeling well. It's a case of remembering what works and what you mustn't do to keep anxiety at bay.
I'm glad you got out and had a good evening.:hugs:
Hi bill
Once again you have hit the nail on the head.feel so much better because I have been able to reintroduce normality in to my life. I know it's hard but for people out there who have lost their appetite,pleas try and eat or at least have a healthy drink..a smoothies or something.I hadn't eaten for at least four days (maybe longer) and my body went in to crisis.. and my mind followed,or vice versa.Either way I feel so much better and stronger and I'm sleeping better.
I saw my cbt chap this morning and am seeing him again this afternoon,because he is going on holiday. We are going to work on strategies for intrusive negative thoughts which make my anxiety spiral.First steps but I'm so lucky I have a therapist I trust and who I can access when I need to. I know some people aren't so lucky but I am soooooooo grateful I have such an excellent gp practise.
Bill thanks ..you are so calming knowledgable and helpful
Xx
Wotnews:hugs:
That's a Long time to go without food. As you say, it's very important to eat something even when you have no appetite.
I'd be interested to hear what your therapist advises about dealing with intrusive thoughts. I find negative thoughts have more power the more stressed we're feeling but the way I deal with them is to remind myself they are just based on fears from past bad experiences. For instance, if you're feeling stressed and experience palpitations, it's very easy for the mind to focus on a previous panic attack making you worry you're going to have another one. Therefore, reducing the stress then eases the palpitations and so the worry then disappears. This could mean that when a person suffers palpitations they need to focus on a positive thought such as "I'm only feeling this way because I feel stressed" rather than the negative thought of "I'm going to panic".
People often talk about "accepting" thoughts and feelings but often I wonder if others know what accepting actually means. To my mind, it means allowing yourself to think these negative thoughts and feelings without allowing the mind "react to them". For instance, when we have these thoughts/feelings, they are based on our fears so whatever we're afraid of will cause worries and "what if's". This also means that because these thoughts/feelings cause us to feel afraid, our minds are "reacting" to them by creating all these worries so our body will tense up with all the anxious feelings such as shallow breathing, palpitations etc which then create health worries, more stress and so on.
Therefore, to me, accepting these thoughts/feelings means to allow yourself to experience them but to allow them to float through you by keeping yourself relaxed and in doing so, you don't then react to them. This could mean by using long deep breaths before the anxiety takes hold and to "ignore" the thought by saying to yourself it's nothing to fear, it's just a thought and training your mind on something else to stop yourself dwelling on it. For instance the thought of a cream cake is the same as a thought about health or a spider etc except that normally we're not afraid of cream cakes so we don't react to thoughts of them but we will react to a thought that creates fear.
We can't and mustn't try to block these thoughts because it means we're not facing them so they'll keep coming back. Often people with a fear of spiders will be told to confront their fear by standing looking at one or even holding one but then they'll say they felt worse so how can that be helping. The reason is that although they're confronting their fear, they're still feeling afraid and therefore are reacting to their fear. Therefore, it's not just about confronting what we're afraid of but confronting them with them with the right approach by learning how to keep calm and relaxed in the face of what frightens us. In this way we then prove to ourselves "there is nothing to fear but the fear we create ourselves" in the way fear makes us "feel". Often people will say Fear of Fear but it's really Fear of "feeling" Fear that people try to avoid because those feelings are what we're really afraid of rather than what it is that we're thinking or what's in front of us. After all, an intrusive thought or an ordinary household spider can't harm you but the feelings that we feel at the thought or sight of one do make us "feel" afraid. Therefore, keeping relaxed and holding a spider should then prove to us that the spider itself can't harm us but the key is to learn to keep relaxed otherwise always "feeling afraid" and anxious near one will keep the anxiety alive every time we think of and see one.
Another example I guess would be OCD whereby intrusive thoughts make some people feel the need to repeat things to keep "safe". Again, it's because we're reacting to the thought but keeping relaxed while thinking these thoughts then takes away the power of them so we then don't feel the need to repeat. In this way, we can then learn to think them and just ignore them as just being thoughts.
Sorry, I could go on...
I'm not saying everything above is right though. They're just what I believe in and what has worked for me so I'd be interested to hear what your therapist says when he's back from hols.
I'm glad I'm helping you in some small way.:hugs:
Hi
Just wanted to do a quick update.I feel so much better,went back to work today after w week off,did a short day but it was good to be there..even if I had to answer the hundreds of emails in my inbox.But hey that's normal life. I seem to be settled wellnon 10 mgs of citalopram and haven't felt the nned to take diazepam for the last 6 days.On Sunday I managed my first lie in for ages...10.30 ..I was so happy!!
I can't put my finger on what has changed..external circs are still the same..I just feel much stronger physically and mentally.I'm lucky to have a supportive partner and extended family and that has really helped.
Here's hoping it will last..but if it doesn't I know I'll survive..I am still in there somewhere and I'll emerge butterfly like at some point..but I've stopped expecting to be instantly well...and that takes the pressure iff
Thanks bill and everyone else on the forum..one day at a time xx
I can't put my finger on what has changed...........
I just feel much stronger physically and mentally.I'm lucky to have a supportive partner and extended family and that has really helped.
Wotnews:hugs:
Sounds simplistic I know but the answer to why you're feeling better really is as simple as that. You've regained your confidence through your own willpower with the support of those around you. The lion growled making you feel afraid but you've come through this attack and are now growling back at the lion who is now the one who is running away. All you need to do now is remember how you're now "thinking" together with the practises you have learnt so that if the lion comes back you remember how keep it at bay.
Having said that, I wouldn't say you're quite yet out of the woods because you've only just gone back to work and you're still taking the meds but if you keep going as you are I can see no reason why you won't be feeling totally fine soon. I'm really pleased for you.:bighug1:
Bill..thanks again
I said in my last post I'm not there they but I'm on my way. My lion has become more like the cowardly lion from wizard of oz because I feel stronger now and I can growl back!! I'm also not scared of my meds because I believe they are helping. One day at a time!!
And the sun is shining today!!
Thanks for your continued support and thank goodness for this site..it's a great help.x
Wotnews:hugs:
Yes, I often think we can actually learn from watching The Wizard of Oz. As the wizard (doctor) says in so many words, the cure is not in what he gives but rather it can be found in what has been taken away from us which we have to find a way to replace.
For instance, what does the lion need to overcome his fear?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky7DMCHQJZY
"Courage"....And what was given to him to renew his lost self-belief? A medal.
I think you'll find in this new age, we turn to a lucky shirt, a tablet or the words found in a book or through a therapist...but whatever method we choose, our belief in our choice can renew our belief in our own abilities because they give us back security which gives us more confidence to overcome our fears and so we feel better.
What did we used to do when as a child we were frightened? Take a pill or run to our parents to feel "safe" to take our fear away?
Speaking of which...I'm also not scared of my meds because I believe they are helping. One day at a time!! And the sun is shining today!!
Interesting choice of words:winks:. Remember the paragraph above about self-"belief"?
"I feel better because the meds are helping"
"I feel better because I "believe" the meds are helping"
So you're not scared of your meds because you believe they are helping but I wonder if the other side of the coin means you Are scared of stopping them because of your belief that they're helping? So when will you feel you can cope without them? Note:- that's NOT to say that's what you're thinking, or that they are or aren't working...I just think it's an interesting point you've raised in your wording that "could" affect others so it's worth highlighting.
And one last thought, how much of a part do the following play in the equation I wonder? I just feel much stronger physically and mentally.I'm lucky to have a supportive partner and extended family and that has really helped.
:hugs:
Hi bill
The key is that I feel stronger..and the support I hav from family friends and colleagues has played a large part in this. The meds are a bit chicken or egg,but I do feel that not being scared of them has made a difference..I've only been on them a month and the dose is low. I agree self belief is so important.At the moment I am going with feeling much better,keeping up the positive thinking and taking each day as it comes. And that lion.?? " put em up..put em up" ! X
Well, it sounds as though you're doing very well, feeling much stronger and happier...and that's all that really matters. Can't ask for much more!:winks::hugs:x
surfmonkey
19-09-11, 15:53
Just wanted to say thank you to Bill for posting the most amazing advice and guidance, right here and something which is helping me sooo much at the moment. Also hoping that this might go back to the top for others to read and re-read. So spot on I think I cried the first time I read it.
Bless you Bill and everyone else :)
Thank you Very much for your kind words surfmonkey. If what I type helps just one person, even in some small way, then it makes it all worthwhile. I'm always willing to listen and to at least try and help.
The Real thanks should go to those who share their feelings because they're the ones I'm grateful to for enabling me to feel worth something to others.:winks:
Hi, sounds awful, I'm sorry. There is lots of good advice above and on this site (and others too!) so I hope you find something that helps. Intense aerobic exercise helps me. Herbal meds and herbal teas sometimes help a little with my insomnia. Have you tried meditating? I've started that recently and after about 3 weeks or so of it I'm starting to benefit from it. Supposed to allow you to be with your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental and compassionate way but I find it relaxing in itself. I heard a radio programme (one of the All in the Mind series on BBC Radio 4) about how practicing mindfulness can also really help with insomnia. Lots of stuff on the web about that. Also, www.allaboutdepression.com have a lot of stuff on relaxation and www.wildmind.org and www.getsomeheadspace.com are good for meditation. Just remember to look after yourself. Anxiety/constant stress is utterly exhausting. You really need to rest and look after yourself. Good nutrition is important too. Best of luck.
I've always found meditation very relaxing. I also found listening to instructions on a recording helps to focus the mind because then you can use it in stressful situations when you're just waiting.
For instance, picturing laying on a beach, listening to the waves, feeling the breeze and warmth from the sun. It's something I have often used in the dentists chair. It relaxes me so much that the dentist has reminded me to open my mouth because I start dropping off.
I think any form of relaxation is under-estimated in its ability to counteract anxious feelings And intrusive thoughts. With practise, it can be very effective at giving the mind a chance to switch off from worries.:hugs:
mrsBee,Hi,
i am exactly the same,I'm not quite sure what to make of it,as it has been a compleate nightmare.I to find myself asking when will this end,I so can identify with you.
take care
Larissa:hugs:
I notice from your other posts that you think it is hormone related. I just wondered if you can think of any extra stresses, fears or worries you've experienced before it started or whether it is purely connected to your hormones.:hugs:
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