Yes, I have started it now....

[Catya]

Rather regretfully I come crawling back to medication.

I have been 'sitting on' my first packet from my GP for some time now( trying to get Escitalopram NOT Citalopram made me feel like I was robbing the bank!!).... and took the odd half when I decided enough was enough.

However, I do see that part of my illness, and I read this in others' posts too, is this rather obsessive fear of going too far in to taking the meds. This has stopped me time and time again from re-starting properly and making an actual commitment to trying to get myself better.

I've really had enough now. My depression and fear of the world is so huge that even the potential side effects of the drug ( and possibly w/d when I ever try to come off them) will not stop me now trying to salvage some satisfactory life back. I cannot waste any more years like this and when I see that I'm busy blaming almost everyone else.... I have to look to myself.

If people are interested I will write about how I am getting on with the drug. :unsure:

[Catya]

Well, it's day 6 today and so for not too bad (quite surprisingly so...)
I have to say I am writing this as someone who hates medication so much, but for once I have recognised that I needed to do something.
I had a little insomnia earlier in the week, but had been sleeping badly anyway so that was nothing new. My anxiety increased a bit and general irritation, but that is not too bad today.
I am now waiting for them to 'kick in' and lift my spirits a little... THIS is why I'm taking them.
Please hurry up tablets.... switch a light on for me again....

[happycamper]

Hi Catya,
I'm sitting on a low dose (10mg) of citalopram and very apprehensive of coming right off them. I've seen many posts from peeps struggling off AD's and end up restarting - going through all the initial side effects again. But until you come off them I guess you'll never truly know how you would get on without...?
I'll be interested to follow your thread, hope the light switches back on quickly! x

[Anxious-in-Canada]

Hi Catya,

I understand your apprehension and concerns about these medications. Just remember that most of the experiences you will read here in this forum are from people who need extra help too. I am one for sure. I would guess for everyone here on this forum there are at least hundreds of others who take the med get better and never look back. Keep the faith as you may be one of those hundreds ....

I think it is important to focus more on feeling better and getting stronger before you worry about the length of time you have to take the medication.

Please continue your posts. It will give all of us information and probably some hope. I am sure it will do the same for you too!

Hang in there and take care.

[AlexandriaUK]

Congratulations and well done for taking that giant leap for well being and sanity LOL I possibly think one of the biggest things Drs have to deal with with anxiety suffers is our absolute dread of medication, maybe it is one of the worst symptoms, I truly believe it is a symptom and untill we can over come it we are always going to feel the same.
I am not saying we all need to be on Meds but those that do and are to scared to take them it is a great shame as the meds now a days are so much better than they have ever been and so much safer as well.
I will look forward to seing your month post as it can take some people that long for it to lift them as you put it.
I have a friend who has been on meds nearlly all her life and every now and then she will stop them because she feels good, oops you can guess what happens she goes rapidly down hill, your Dr is the one to give advice and he will know whats best for you even though often we think they dont LOL
Look forward to your next announcement :yesyes:

[Catya]

Hello all.
Well day 11 of the meds.... and NOT kicked in? I am really disappointed about this. I do feel a little 'dumbed' down, but I don't know if that's good or not.
I wish some positivity would creep in, I had full confidence that I would have felt some by now.
Will let you know...

[Catya]

Ok..... well now not sure what to do.
I had been away for a few days to one of my daughters and had noticed the increased urge to go to the toilet. Now it's beginning to feel like full blown cystitis. I hate this.

When I look at the side effects I see that bladder irritation is listed. Anyone else experience this?
Have taken 2 fish oil capsules this morning and NOT taken my tablet. Hope I feel ok....

[Catya]

Well, my second day without taking a tablet and so far so good. Slept much better last night and the 'cystitis' has gone. Not quite sure how this is going to leave me when the meds are completely out of my system but will keep this contact. Hope this is ok?

[louise hamilton]

Hi catya

How's u keeping?

If you don't mind me asking why did u stop the tablets?

Louise x

[Catya]

I couldn't stand the side effects Louise particularly the burning sensation and irritable bladder. Also the insomnia. I will let you know how I get on though.

I was going to post in yours too about your tabs seeming not to work this time? From previous experience of going back on a medication ( it was Seroxat then) I always found that you never quite got the lift you had when you went on the drugs for the first time. It's like your brain is used to them. XX

[Catya]

Well now been off them a few days and not too bad.
I have bought some 5htp today to see if that helps. Anyone got any experiences of this?

[cathycrumble]

What are you coming off how long you been ohn them and what is 5htp?

Cathy xx

[Catya]

Hi Cathy.... had 12 days of Escitalopram but couldn't stick the side effects.

5Htp is a natural supplement supposedly to help depression.

[Anxious-in-Canada]

Hi Catya,

Please be careful with the 5HTP (Serotonin) as it is not recommended to take it with AD meds (SSRIs). I am not sure how long you took the AD meds but just be careful....

5HTP has been praised for its benefits though, I would like to hear of your experiences with it....

[Catya]

Hi Anxious. Yes, I'm not taking both. Have been off anti deps for almost a week. Will let you know how I get on with 5Htp. Only on lowish dose at the mo. So fingers crossed. Thanks for your reply.

[cathycrumble]

HI Catya

I am iterested to see how you get on. I have been on citalopram for 3 months it's helped a little but i DONT like being on them. Still having side affects and you are right about not getting the same affect when taking them a 2nd time. I was on them from sep 2010 til april 2011 and stoped cold turkey my god did i suffer so had to go back on. I feel my axiety wasnt that bad when I think back I know the meds made me worse. So I have a book from cita which helps you ween off of them slowly so this is what i am going to do started today. I am on 40mg. I am very intersted on the 5htp. And also Cita say noni juice helps when reducing AD. So will look into that. I will keep following your posts to see how you are getting on good luck.

Cathy xx

[Catya]

Ok Cathy. Yes you must take it slowly, your withdrawal. I found Seroxat very difficult to get off but I had been on antidepressants for nearly twenty years. I consequently do have a real fear of them. If I can succeed on this more natural route, I will.

I'm not decrying the use of meds completely though. Over the years I have had very severe depression and the tablets undoubtedly helped me live a productive life but sometimes I do wonder at what cost ?
Good luck to you. I'll keep you posted. XX