haziefantasie
31-08-11, 21:06
Im so sick of my mood going up & down all the time, I dont know how much more I can take. I can go from feeling ok to being suicidal in seconds, with no warning. I just realised its september tomorrow & summer has gone, with nothing for me to look forward to. Ive spent the whole summer crying, in fact all of spring & winter aswell. On new years day I was so glad 2010 was over as it was the year from hell, & yet so far this year has been even worse. My life is a mess, I fail at everything & I just let everyone walk all over me. I want to just give up, whats the point in being happy when I just become miserable again so quickly? My counsellor told me to think what Id say to a friend if they said the same things but Id honestly tell them theyd already wasted too much time crying & to sort themselves out so that really isnt helping.
Ive been thinking for weeks whether to go back to my doctor & increase my medication (Ive been on 20mg citalopram for approx 8 weeks) but Ive recently started a new job & I dont think theyd be very understanding if I need time off due to any side effects. Noone at work knows about my mental health issues so Ive been plastering on a happy face so far but I cant pretend for much longer :weep:
Im sorry for moaning, I know people are going through much worse than me but I just feel so fed up & dont know what to do x
Ive been thinking for weeks whether to go back to my doctor & increase my medication (Ive been on 20mg citalopram for approx 8 weeks) but Ive recently started a new job & I dont think theyd be very understanding if I need time off due to any side effects. Noone at work knows about my mental health issues so Ive been plastering on a happy face so far but I cant pretend for much longer :weep:
Im sorry for moaning, I know people are going through much worse than me but I just feel so fed up & dont know what to do x