so sad

[panicpanda]

Having an awful day.

If I'm not having a panic attack, I'm anticipating one. In the few moments I'm not doing either of them I'm feeling depressed and crying my eyes out. I try to distract myself but don't seem able to for long. I don't like being on my own but I know I'm not a nice person to be around. :weep:

[mike83]

Hi Panda

Hope your day improved. Have you no where else you can stay? Have you always lived alone? You sound like you need some good people around you, have you started your citalopram yet? It might take the edge off things. I'm not very good with advice, sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Try and get in contact with some friends?

Takecare

[panicpanda]

Hi Mike, thanks for your reply.

Yeah I live alone and unfortunatly I'm also very agoraphobic so I can't really go out to see anyone. My only real friend lives in a different town and is busy working or with her boyfriend mostly so feeling quite isolated. I feel a bit better today since my boyfriend's come round, no tears yet... Haven't started citalopram as I was terrified. A CPN said it may not even be suitable for me and my problems so have appointment with psychiatrist next week. :shrug:

[mike83]

Can he not stay with you sometimes? I think you should try the citalopram but its up to you, I am on 60mg, I'm not sure if it works well or not, I have been on some form of anti depressant for 13 years I can't remember what it was like when I was off them! The few times I have come off them I have felt bad (from anxiety), probably because I come off them too quick, so perhaps they are doing something!

What do you fear about citalopram? You might be able to just have therapy, its ultimately your decision. Try and find a place (online) where other people with your interests hang out :)

[graham58]

Just noticed this thread.

I'm sorry you feel like this, hope things improve soon. I don't have much to add except that for me soothing music helps when I'm going through a bad patch.

Best wishes,

Graham .

[panicpanda]

Thanks Mike and Graham. I like to listen to classical music, it calms me down a little, other music seems to just make me feel worse though.

He stays with me a couple of nights a week, but I am alone more than I am with him. I don't really want to take anything, I don't like the idea of being on something that will change how I think, although I do know that this is what I need really as things are so bad. I just don't trust meds like that. I also have phobia of being sick, so I'm worried they'll make me vomit. I'm on propranolol, but it's not enough. I'll see what the psychiatrist says tomorrow. I have no idea what they're going to give me if a CPN thinks citalopram might not be right for me.

[mike83]

Hi

I do feel sick if I miss or am late with a dose, but then I am on the max amount, and I don't think I have ever actually been sick, I just gag a few times and it mostly goes away.

I'm on pregabalin, I think it works for me. It keeps me from getting full blown panic attacks, its for generalised anxiety disorder.

[panicpanda]

The psychiatrist actually prescribed me pregabalin today. How have they been for you? Any side effects? I've read mostly about dizziness, I think I could deal with that. He's only started me on 25mg twice a day as I'm so scared lol.

[mike83]

I get dizziness, a bit lightheaded at times. I also used to have migrane associated vertigo and twice when I have had a double dose (because I missed one) its brought it on, perhaps my dizziness is a bit worse because of the mav but I don't know. I'm on 200mg a day, I was on 100mg but they put me up.

You can have up to 600mg a day so 50mg a day is a low dose, if nothing much happens you may need to go higher.

I think it stops the physical symptoms of anxiety, but I can still feel anxious mentally yet not be anxious. I do still get brief panic attacks but they only last for 10 seconds or so usually and its easier to go back to being relatively calm, rather than having it build up and up. I still fear the full blown panic attacks that last for days, I still don't feel confident about that.