Dealing with bully

[Pattymac]

Ten years ago I had a week when we turned off our eldest son from his ventilator. He was 36 and had brain tumour but the operation did not work and he was brain dead . I was already diagnosed with breast cancer and surgeon would not delay any longer. So I had op. And after 3days got out of bed to go to I.t. Unit to end Andrews life. Obviously life never same again but with other children and grand children I had to put myself back to some kind of normality. I take 2 mg. Valium as and when. That is my background. We moved house 6 years ago and have had nothing but trouble from the buyers. The other day a new letter saying he was going to sue because he thought there was subsidence. My husband is 83and I am 74 . Icannot cope with this abusive man. He was banned from seeing our solicitor. How do I stop myself thinking about this all the time. Every day I wake up in dread. Any comments would be so useful.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Pattymac

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Magic]

Hello Patymac,
What a terrible time you have had,and are having still.
Surely this man had surveyers in the house he bought from you.
If there is subsidence, then it was their responsibility.
If there was no surveyer then it is this mans fault and there is nothing he can do
about it.
What a menace he is. I'm afraid I cannot give you any advice.:hugs:

[Belleblue]

Hi Pattymac and welcome to NMP from me too. You've had a very traumatic time and are still going through the mill because of this man.

How is this man maintaining contact with you? Is he going through his own solicitor? Or is is he contacting you directly? If he is doing the latter it could be considered that he is harassing you. Keep him at arms length and try to deal with him through solicitors or the law if you can. Harassment is unlawful and he needs to be made aware of this. I know it's easier said that done, but try not to let him into your head. Try to keep your mind occupied with other things/people. Are your other children supporting you through this?

Stay in contact and please keep posting.

Belle x

[Vanilla Sky]

Just wanted to welcome you to NMP , you will find support here :welcome:

Paige x

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya and welcome to NMP I hope you find the help and advice here and maybe make a few friends in the process

:welcome:

[Pattymac]

I cried when I looked this morning to find so many kind replies. I have had no one to turn to. My children are supportive but live abroad. Idont want to burden my husband with my worries. My best friend died of colon cancer after Christmas and my sister is in a home half alive.I feel surrounded by dread and gloom and feel bad about this too ! I seem to have forgotten how to be content with things as they are. I have no health or money worries but the endless proceedings this man will put us through overwhelms me. Actually I would like to go to an airport and fly away .

[Belleblue]

Oh Pattymac I don't blame you for wanting to fly away!! We've all been there I can assure you :hugs: I too am in a difficult situation due to a bullying neighbour and I cannot count the number of times I've wanted to fly away myself! You sound as though you are very isolated with all these concerns. Have you had a word with your GP about how you are feeling?

Is there a possibility you could get some respite from this situation - perhaps take a little holiday? You'd be surprised at how a change of scenery can alter your outlook and give a new perspective to the problem.

Just a thought - I hope you don't mind my suggesting that you could perhaps also get in touch with AgeUK (they used to be Age Concern). They can be very helpful with all sorts of things.

Do take care now and let us know how you are getting on.

Belle x

[rachel04]

hi
im with magic on this one, surveyors should of noticed this otherwise its thier fault for not picking it up, go to citizens advice or you could even ring them. best of luck xx:hugs:

[MandyGM]

What a lot you have had to cope with. There is lots of support here, and we are quite happy to listen if you want to talk about your worries. As others have said, i would have thought this awful man's dispute is with the surveyors and not you. I don't know where you are in the country, but here in Scotland there are various surveys you can instruct when buying a house - most people have a basic survey and not structural due to cost, but that is the buyer's decision and as far as I know there would be no comeback on the seller if problems are later found.

I hope you maybe feel a bit less on your own now, and the support here is wonderful, so take advantage of it! :bighug1:

Take Care

Mandy x

[lindor]

My advice would be to completely ignore this buyer of yours. He doesnt have a leg to stand on. If he bought your house , contracts were signed and he accepted it as it was with or without a surveyors report which is nothing to do with you.

If he continues to harass you then see a solicitor yourself to get him off your back. What he is doing is unlawful.

[Pattymac]

I wish I had found this site years ago, it would have been such a help. At Andrews funeral someone said this to me. Andrews dead you have cancer i wonder what the third thing will be.people do not engage brain with mouth ! However now I know the third thing was waiting in the wings. Yes I do go away quite a lot ,feel better away in new place take no Valium. Soon as I get home go into default position. I feel I should be able to overcome this stuck in a rut reaction but cannot.