Relationships!

[clarky]

Please - does anyone else feel (or has felt) like this?

I am having problems at the moment as my boyfriend and I are buying a house together and the thought of it all just sends me in to a huge panic. He's living with me at my house at the moment as he has sold his and sometimes, I can't wait for him to go out just so I can be on my own.

I was pretty independent before we got together and am finding it really hard being in a couple. I'm not good about sharing space and feel resentful sometimes about him being here! I keep thinking I should just finish it, but then think I may be making a huge mistake! I dream about being single again and just having myself to consider and how much simpler life would be! The indecision of it all is causing me much anxiety and sleepless nights at the moment. I just can't seem to make a decision either way or it chops and changes every day. If I look at it simply then I obviously don't feel the right way about him and should end the relationship but I'm not sure how I feel with all this anxiety, I can't think straight.

This isn't the first time I suffered from anxiety and related depression (have suffered most of my life) but this is all making it much worse at the moment.

Please, has anyone else gone through this kind of thing??

[joolsukuk]

hi
hun you have alot on your plate at the mo buying ahouse is a big thing... when we are single we want to be in a couple its that grass is always greener thing! your anxiety level is bound to be high at the moment i to look forward to my time alone but you have to try to think how would it be if noone was coming home?... let me know how you get on thinking of you xxxxx..only you can decide if you want out of the relationship completely(sorry if ive been no help)xx

jools xx

[existential crisis]

I'm going through something very similar at the moment - PM me if you would like to chat. Clare. xxx

*I think, therefore I am.*

[bluebottle]

I went through a very similar thing, still doing so really. Its hard to know how you feel isn't it?

Do you really, honestly, want to be with this person? Or are you afraid of living on your own and taking responsibility for yourself? There are no right or wrong answers.

Depression does make us withdraw from people, and that could be the problem here, or you may just be afraid to admit to yourself that this relationship isn't for you.

--
Blue -
"Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it."

[clarky]

Hi

Thanks for ur m'ages!

Clare, would love to chat but what does PM mean (sorry, am quite new to the site).

xx

[clarky]

Thank you again to you all.

Emaster, omg! Thank you so much for your reply, it really is helpful to know that someone else is going through the same thing! Really does help me to think that I am not just mad!

What you said in your last paragraph has really made me think! I think you're probably right! I have a lot of hard thinking to do in the next few days.

xxx

[Jason37]

Clarky,
A simple question, but is it possible you could talk to him about how you feel?
If you can, it might hold the key to you understanding your own feelings better, and also to you two sorting things out between you, with some mutual support for each other, and a better comprehension of what the other feels. In other words, a decent basis for taking your relationship to a more committed level.
If you don't feel you can speak to him, however, well then I fear that is a very ominous sign about the quality of your relationship and the likely limitations of its future potential.
Wishing you good luck,
Jason

[bluebottle]

My partner and I are going to try again, but things are going to change. Also we have agreed Relate will be useful to us.

Wish me luck.

--
Blue -
"Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it."

[Jason37]

GOOD LUCK!
Good words you wrote there.
Peace and strength to you...
Jason