extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth- gone!

[peach]

hello,

i havent been on here in months, but i just wanted to jump on to let you know that my extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth has gone!!!!! yes, im not lying!

some of you may remember me. i posted weekly last year about my pregnancy and how for the first 3 months i wasnt coping at all! well, for those of you who followed you know the outcome, now, its been a year!!! can you believe it?!

so many things went wrong in the birth, and after but looking back, i got through it, and much better then i thought! i realised i dont trust my mind or body!!! but it does to what i need it to!! (well, most of the time anyway lol)

so, i now have a 13 month old beautiful boy! and i am 4 months pregnant with no2- yes, thats what i said!!! we are so excited and cant wait to meet him/her!!!! it will be our last as, im not a great pregnant lady and yes, i still have many worries and am scared of having another ceaser (bit scary) but i know it will be worth it again for one more healthy baby! i do sleep through this pregnancy. i still feel sick and cry a bit with the exams, but i dont cry at nights like last time and am scared, but not terrified like last time, so i really feel i have conquered my extreme fear of preg and childbirth, and im telling you- i was one of the worst too! but im so so proud i faced it, have a gorgeous bub and doing it again! i still have to pinch myself sometimes but for me, life is so incredible with a child to share it. he also helps my day to day anxiety too as i just dont have the time to think about myself! also, his smile always makes me smile, how can you not!

so, praying of course that all will be ok with this preg, and birth and we get our last healthy baby in feb and then, if we get through it (which im positivly hoping we will) i may write a book eh? lol, who knows......good luck for all of you with this fear and pls know, it really can be overcome!!!!

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Peach I'm so pleased that you have done so well. I know it hasn't been easy for you. Love and hugs for the new baby and blessings galore for your family. EJ xxx

[dorothy1983]

Excellent news! And congratulations!!
I suffered extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth which developed when I was about 32 weeks pregnant with my third child. It was so bad, I was eventually given an elective caesarean section at 37 weeks. It was BAD! Although I would have dearly loved to have had one more child, there is no way I could face putting myself through pregnancy again, and the possibility of that fear returning when pregnant, so he has ended up being my last (and is now 4 and starts school tomorrow :ohmy:).

I found that when I went through this when I was pregnant, the midwives were unable to help much, due to their extrememly limited (read: no) training in mental health issues. So I decided I would challenge that, and see if I could train to become a midwife with a special interest in caring for women with a fear of birth. By some miracle, I am now only a few months from qualifying! I am currently working through my dissertation, which is focussing on women with a fear of childbirth, and things their midwives can do or potentially do (ie: additional training in mental health problems, counselling techniques, specialist antenatal classes etc), to improve the outcomes for women who experience a fear of childbirth (So any of your experiences or suggestions will be greatly received!! :roflmao:).

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. You are very very brave, only wish I had some of that bravery! Take care of yourself.

[SmithS52]

I hope you don't mind me jumping on your thread - but I couldn't find anywhere else to post and you sound like you have experience of what i'am going through.

I am nearly 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I have a history of panic attacks. I have been managing to cope without medication (I weened myself off of citalopram back in January) but I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I can't seem to switch my brain off and added to the insomnia, pregnancy symptoms etc I feel like I am losing control.

I am anxious about everything - my health, the babies health, the birth, not bonding with the baby - I am trying to talk myself out of the panic and ride it out but I think I am about to crack. I just want it all to stop for a while. It would be nice to be sedated for the next 4 weeks.

I feel like I am battling with the health people - my midwifes are unhelpful and when I was due to see an obstetrician I was palmed off to a junior doctor - who didn't listen and took the view that I wanted an elective caesaerean because it is fashionable.

I am tired of this and cannot fight everyone and the panic all the time.
I listened to a hypnotherapy CD this morning and it helped but even doing that took a lot of effort - i don't know what to do anymore.
Please can someone advise how I can get through this - positive stories and coping tips would be good.

[sb001f8994]

Peach what brilliant news, congrats! My son and his partner are expecting twins (they've been told ninety percent sure they are boys) in feb. My son seems to be having a very bad fear about the whole thing. Everything they are told he takes very badly and looks at everything negatively and isnt sleeping with all kinds of fears swimming in his head. Unfortunately he is a worrier and nothing his partner, the health proffesionals or anyone tells him is going to stop him worrying.
Smiths52 alot of your fears are common and unfortunately alot of the health care workers dont understand when they become a bit worse than normal. I was very affraid when I had my daughter, I was agoraphobic and booked for a home delivery but circumstances wouldnt allow this so went in hospital. My midwife was very understanding and kept telling me an inner strength would take over and it did. I dont know where it came from but something takes over and you become in control and deliver your baby dispite all your fears. The same will happen to you and afterwards you will wonder why you felt that way to begin with. Does your general practice have a mental health nurse or can they put you in touch with one? This might help. Hope everything goes well for you, take care.
Congrats once again to peach, well done!

[Anxious_gal]

I have a fear of being pregnant, giving birth and raising children, I remember reading your posts and loved how much detail you went in, it was really helpful x
oh wow congratulations on being pregnant again x :hugs: