wish my mind would stop having horrible thoughts

[imjustnotme]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I feel really bad...for the things I think about. I don't even know why I think about them. Yesterday my boyfriend and me went round a friends and watched some dvds and I was having a nice time but I looked at my boyfriend and then felt really sad and scared thinking that one day he will pass...I get these thoughts with pretty much everyone close to me and it scares me so much and it's always in the back of my mind, it makes me feel sick...I don't want these things to happen (even though I know death is part of life) but in the back of my mind I can't stop thinking about them :(

[sheen]

i know wat u goin thru,im the same,and i also think that my partner is doin things behind my back,and goin out with other women,i cant get these thoughts out of my mind,ive just been put on citaopram,and im havin c.b.t.so im hoping that it will help,as its taken over my life.xxx:hugs:

[imjustnotme]

I hope the c.b.t helps you...I know exactly how you feel. Our minds are so powerful...they can make us think the worst and your body reacts to how it would if that was actually happening or going to...I try to push these thoughts aside but they keep coming back...wish I could just not worry about these things and just enjoy life for what it is right now xx

[rachel04]

im the same i think bad stuff daily, its the first and last thing on my mind. our minds really are powerfull and its hard to change my thinking pattern. i feel i am missing out on life because i want to remain "safe" in my comfort zone, hope we get better soon xx

[Meewah]

Hi

Me too. I have three kids and I cant help thinking something horrible might happen. My mind sees all the process. The Big C scares me the most. I worry about how they will be if I die, my wife dies. It scares the life out of me sometimes. My wife says I over react. I feel she does not react enough. I love them all to bits and the fact that she is overweight and feeds my kids what ever they want. I feel too stressed to challenge her on her and the kids lifestyles. I try to keep myself fit but that makes me feel guilty and also makes me feel like I might out live them and that scares me even more. I thought I had Health anxiety but I did not know that could spread to everything health related even your own family.



Mee

[panictomuch]

Have horrible thoughts!! All the time!

I can be going to bed and I will just think what if I die in my sleep? What it be like just not to wake up?

I worry constantly what would life be like if I wernt here and what woud my baby do? I feel guilty over the tiniest things!

I look at my baby sometimes and think I'm not doin a good job. What if I don't give her a good life? I can't stand the thought if her bein upset. Sad. Hurt!! Its horrible :t

Anyway, I am always thinkin horrible stuff and sometimes I just suddenly get this feelin of bein fed up. I feel guilty leavin her for a hour. Worryin somethin might happen!

What am I guina do!

[Bill]

The more we feel we have to lose, the more we'll worry about losing those things because our fear will always focus on what we feel is most important to us.

You know why sometimes tennis players will freeze on match point? It's that fear of losing, whereas their opponent will often relax because they feel they've reached a point where they have nothing to lose.

It's all about stress and pressure mixed with self-doubt that combined create these worries of "what if" we lose what feels So important to us.

Just try to remember that you get these thoughts Because you care so much about what is important to you.:hugs:

[Meewah]

Have horrible thoughts!! All the time!

I worry constantly what would life be like if I wernt here and what woud my baby do? I feel guilty over the tiniest things!

I look at my baby sometimes and think I'm not doin a good job. What if I don't give her a good life? I can't stand the thought if her bein upset. Sad. Hurt!! Its horrible :t

Anyway, I am always thinkin horrible stuff and sometimes I just suddenly get this feelin of bein fed up. I feel guilty leavin her for a hour. Worryin somethin might happen!

What am I guina do!


I feel what you are experiencing is normal anxiety that in the end protects your Baby. I remember when each of my kids were babies and toddlers, I would have frequent nightmares that something had happened to them. Running on to the road was one of them followed by being hit by a car and me screaming running over to the accident. It was terrifying. I used to talk to people I knew about this and they would say that these are normal parental anxieties that create you in to a strong supportive parent. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. Primarily we have evolved as parents to be dispensable we have evolved over millions of years to change our risk taking personalities and turn them the complete opposite when we have children. In this way we feel terrible ourselves but for the benefit of the baby/child. That I feel is why we are so successful as the human race.

The only time this becomes a problem is when it hinders you doing your duties as a parent. For instance last year me and my wife were in a roadside cafe enjoying a coffee. The road outside was a main road and was busy. Cars were parked the full length of both sides of the road making crossing a little hazardous. We had my youngest with us who was three at the time. He was exploring the cafe and kept playing games to pass the time. One of the games he chose to play was a chase me game but this time calmly as the cafe was full my wife ignored his calls so he walked towards the door saying get me. When My wife decided he was getting too close to the door she stood up and ran to get him, he ran out of the cafe and between the cars and my wife just caught him before a car hit him. The people in the cafe made a loud sigh and this was the only indication how close we had come to losing him. I had already lived this moment in my dreams and due to the situation of chasing him was making him run to play the game I aready had insight to the outcome and it had frozen me. I could not move from my chair, I could not look at the sequence of events I had to rely on the loud sigh from the other customers in the cafe.

I keep re living this moment over and over and putting what if's in it. My concern is the fear I had dreamt nearly was acted out but yet I froze, I do not know what I would have done if either my Child or my wife had been struck by a car. The problem is I cant get this out of my head and now I believe what my unconscious tells me as it is warning me of potential dangers.

I would listen to how you feel and go with your instinct. Try and put in place a structure that will give you peace of mind if anything did happen. Putting your baby first is the best thing you can do.

Mee

[Rebecca10]

Hi! I know exactly what you're saying. In the last 3-4 years I've been more worried than ever before even though I know nothing is wrong at the moment. I keep thinking that something will happen to my brother when he goes out at the weekend or that something bad will happen to one of my parents. I think I'm really affected by what I see/read in the news as I always imagine what would happen if those things happened to anyone of my family members or friends. I always imagine the worst thing possible happening but I also worry that if I stop worrying that's when something awful will happen and I haven't been prepared!! I know deep down that worrying won't change or make any difference to things out of my control but I just can't shake the feeling!