So Depressed

[menomum]

Don't know if this is the right place but here goes. I've been married for nearly 25 years and today i've finally faced the fact that I don't want to be anymore. We do nothing but argue and bitch at each other and its got to the stage where most times I can't bear the sight of him and don't even want to be in his company. My Husband is a verbal bully (just like his late Father) and takes great delight in putting me down, everything I say and do he makes an issue of, constantly criticises me and generally makes me unhappy. I suffer with Health Anxiety which has been much better lately but have been through some really hard times with it and have managed to get through with my Drs help but not my Husbands as he refuses to understand. What has bought this to a head is the fact that we moved 5 weeks ago to a town 50 miles away from my family and friends and its made me realise just how little we have as a couple, I'm so depressed and homesick and there hasn't been one single day here that I haven't been in tears and have wished I was back in my old town. I want to leave but am so scared of what to do next. I work from home in our business so don't even have my own wages, don't know what I'm entitled to, just so fed up with living like this and at 52 I don't want to spend my remaining years being unhappy, would rather live in a flat on my own and have some peace of mind than carry on like this. Sorry for the waffling on just needed to get this of my chest.

[AlexandriaUK]

I am ready for the back lash from other users, but I say Leave him, better to be alone and miserable than living with some one and still being miserable, as for what you are entitled to it will be half of whatever you have as a couple, but now I will play devils advecote, have you felt like this for a while or only recently as in since your deppression has taken hold, if thats the case maybe it is the deppression that is making you unhappy and moving can be really sad etc.
Talk to some one and see what they think I am not the best person to give advice as I was in the same boat 17 years ago and left, best thing I ever did. Email me if you want to chat.
Hang in there it can and will get better xxx

[menomum]

Thanks for replying jamangie, yes I have felt like this for a number of years actually and I suppose the moving has just confirmed what i'd been hiding from myself all along. Sorry to be nosy but did you just walk away from your home 17 years ago and start a new life or did your husband.

[cathycrumble]

Hi Menomum

I left my husband after 34 years wanted to leave him for years. I was scared to make the move I been in my rented house now with my son for 4 months. I left him in oct o8 and had a flat with my daughter and mygoodness was I happy lol. But he left his job and I had to go back to help pay the morgtage in Jan 2010. I had to leave my house in the first place because he wouldn't. So when I went back I think he realized that I wanted out, I was so down and depressed going back. He new I wanted to be away from him I think he thought I would change my mind but noway. So he agreed to put the house up for sale and we sold the house last feb and I am here now. My only problem is I have developed HA as I had a bad year last year i was dismissed from my job because of the stress and I was off work alot and the stress of living with him again then I had a car crash. Then I ended up in hospital with a water infection and while I was in hospital thy said I had high blood pressure and now I have a phobia about it so now I am on anti depressents. but i really think it is just anxiety state I have and I have got to count my blessings I am away from mr abusive and I have a lovely man in my life now. Just got to shake off this anxiety. But all I can say to you is leave but get some help while you are planning it. Good luck.

Cathy xx

[menomum]

Ah thanks cathy, you sound as though you've really been through a lot these past years no wonder you've developed HA and found yourself in a state of anxiety, its only to be expected i would think, the anti-depressants will definately help you with all of this as I have suffered of and on with HA and anxiety for years but once i started on Citalopram within a couple of months i could sit back and see things differently. Its good to know somebody else has left their husband after many years, thought people would laugh at me and tell me to just get on with after 25 years, but hey why should I, I'm entitled to some happiness aren't i. Thanks again, take care.

[cathycrumble]

You are so entitled to a better life. I wish you all the luck with what ever you decide on :)

Cathy xx

[Meewah]

Hey I am a male but I say get out of it.

Life's too short. Sounds to me like you will be better out of it. Have you spoke to him about how you feel? You may find the feeling mutual and that is why he treats you like you say he does. In that case you could split amicably.

What ever your decision there's plenty more fish in the sea. I hope you all the best in your new exciting life.

Take Care

Mee