Anxious_gal
05-09-11, 17:59
The problem isn't me!
I really enjoy psychology and I have noticed people tend to project their issues on to you.
Once I fell out with my best friend, why? Well because I was insanely jealous of her, she seemed to have all the things I was lacking.
I disliked how overlly emotional she was, but deep down I was wishing I could let people know I was sad too and have people comfort me.
Even to this day I get a spark of anger when I see others being comforted, it just reminds me of all the times no one cared when I was sad and all the times I got rejected when I reached out.
Alot of the traits we dislike in other people, are the ones we dislike in ourselves.
Sometimes people deiced who you are, and no matter what you do, you simply cannot escape the box they have put you in.
If someone decides you are a bad person, they can actually make you play this role.
How so you may ask.
Well they will pick fights with you, they may question you in a nasty manner.
And they will push you until you loose you temper and then they will go oh look at you getting angry and overreacting, you have now fulfilled your role as the "bad" person.
Believe me this is a very easy trap to fall into!
People don't like other people to change because it makes them feel uncomfortable.
If you do well in life it only reminds them of what they are not doing.
If you loose weight then your friends may get jealous,
if you get married or win the lotto envy can consume your friends.
Again this is not about you, people are naturally selfish and are more concerned about themselves.
when people pick on you, it's not about you either it' about them feeling so powerless in their own life that they pick on you in order to make them feel better.
people also like to look down on you because it makes them feel better about their own lives.
I am guilty of this my self, I can look down on someone and think well least I am not that bad. Look how awesome I am compared to that person.
Often people are not aware of what they are doing. It's become part of who they are.
Like when I fell out with my friend it took me a while to figure out what was really going on.
we since made up :)
Another thing I have noticed , is the game of who's life is worse.
I'm so broke, well I am in debt. I feel ill, well my uncle is dying of cancer you shouldn't be complaining etc...
People personalize everything, it's just natural.
Someone is mean to you and you take it personally when in fact it's more about the other person and their issues.
Even with things such as cancer, you wonder why me, what did I do to deserve this.
Even if you break someones trust, it's not simply a matter of they are sad because you broke their thrust, they are sad because so many people before you broke their trust as well as you. So now the person is suffering from old wounds as well as the one you caused them.
I guess what I am trying to say is things are not merely black and white, people go sooo much deeper than you may see at first glance.
So next time you are struggling with mean people, try and see if you can see why they are acting like that, instead of assuming you are the problem.
You might be part of the problem but never the whole problem.
Once you start to see how people can project their issues onto you, it really does help make life that bit easier and keeps your self worth bit more intact.
I really enjoy psychology and I have noticed people tend to project their issues on to you.
Once I fell out with my best friend, why? Well because I was insanely jealous of her, she seemed to have all the things I was lacking.
I disliked how overlly emotional she was, but deep down I was wishing I could let people know I was sad too and have people comfort me.
Even to this day I get a spark of anger when I see others being comforted, it just reminds me of all the times no one cared when I was sad and all the times I got rejected when I reached out.
Alot of the traits we dislike in other people, are the ones we dislike in ourselves.
Sometimes people deiced who you are, and no matter what you do, you simply cannot escape the box they have put you in.
If someone decides you are a bad person, they can actually make you play this role.
How so you may ask.
Well they will pick fights with you, they may question you in a nasty manner.
And they will push you until you loose you temper and then they will go oh look at you getting angry and overreacting, you have now fulfilled your role as the "bad" person.
Believe me this is a very easy trap to fall into!
People don't like other people to change because it makes them feel uncomfortable.
If you do well in life it only reminds them of what they are not doing.
If you loose weight then your friends may get jealous,
if you get married or win the lotto envy can consume your friends.
Again this is not about you, people are naturally selfish and are more concerned about themselves.
when people pick on you, it's not about you either it' about them feeling so powerless in their own life that they pick on you in order to make them feel better.
people also like to look down on you because it makes them feel better about their own lives.
I am guilty of this my self, I can look down on someone and think well least I am not that bad. Look how awesome I am compared to that person.
Often people are not aware of what they are doing. It's become part of who they are.
Like when I fell out with my friend it took me a while to figure out what was really going on.
we since made up :)
Another thing I have noticed , is the game of who's life is worse.
I'm so broke, well I am in debt. I feel ill, well my uncle is dying of cancer you shouldn't be complaining etc...
People personalize everything, it's just natural.
Someone is mean to you and you take it personally when in fact it's more about the other person and their issues.
Even with things such as cancer, you wonder why me, what did I do to deserve this.
Even if you break someones trust, it's not simply a matter of they are sad because you broke their thrust, they are sad because so many people before you broke their trust as well as you. So now the person is suffering from old wounds as well as the one you caused them.
I guess what I am trying to say is things are not merely black and white, people go sooo much deeper than you may see at first glance.
So next time you are struggling with mean people, try and see if you can see why they are acting like that, instead of assuming you are the problem.
You might be part of the problem but never the whole problem.
Once you start to see how people can project their issues onto you, it really does help make life that bit easier and keeps your self worth bit more intact.