words come out jumbled

[WILL0W]

Hi,
How many of you find when you are talking socially your mind goes blank and you cant think of the word you need? I sometimes feel really frustrated because my speech gets jumbly.

I think it is this that makes me have a fear of talking too long if that makes sense? I am o.k if I can make quite short comments but if a long tale of something is expected of me, like relating a story, film or experience I get increasingly uncomfortable and often will make some excuse to turn the conversation back onto the other person.

I often avoid saying my opinion, or disagreeing because I feel I wont be able to back myself up, as my speech wont come out how I want it to.

I'm doing a course at the moment and I have to do a 5minute talk in front of the class. I have explained as well as possible that my anxiety attacks might make it impossible but I feel under pressure to do it.
I know if it is successful and I can do it without seizing up it would be great for my confidence. On the other hand I have been worse recently with my anxiety and I'm coming off anti-depressants and if I become excessively self conscious and blotch out and end up crying I'll feel even worse! I know preparation is a key but I still have to stand up and do it which is the worst bit.

Sorry to waffle on.
Willow.x

[MrMonkey]

Hey Willow,

Yeah, isn't public speaking horrible? At uni I used to get really worked up if even there was the hint that the lecturer would want to go round the class getting answers to a question or "tell us a bit about yourself"> i hate it and always try to butt in as soon as I can. That kind of thing I react to off the cuff and I just try to remember to breathe deeply.

As for presentations, same thing, but you know its coming so, yes, you have to prepare. Try and eat well in the morning, talk with friends while you are waiting for it to begin and breathe deep, but above all remember that it's never as bad as you think!!

The last presentation I did at Uni, I was really nervous and it was late in the morning so I had a while to wait. My heart was really thumping away waiting for it and I felt fidgety, but once you get the first word out you have no choice but to continue. I had really bad cotton mouth, but I got through it and even made people laugh. I then went on to answer all the spontaneous questions asked of me - even though I was just making up answers! - just so I was keeping myself busy.

I wish I had some solid tips for you, but its all basic stuff: look after yourself, breathe deep and just go for it! I'm sure you will do fine. You could try any number of relaxation techniques before hand too to help you think positive.

As for day to day speech. I tend to talk fast anyway so I make lots of mistakes but people don't seem to mind. I often worry that I should know more words when it take sme a while to think of how to say something, but I don't give it too much thought.

Phew! Long reply! Hope it helps :)

It's just my high anxiety getting to the best of me. I call him Bingbongilypoop. Then I can laugh at him cos he has a funny name. HAHA! [points]

[giddy]

Hi Willow - I find social situations difficult too, like you my mind goes blank and I just can't speak, then start thinking the negative thoughts - people think I'm boring etc etc!! If I do manage to speak I forget to breathe then everything gets muddled and jumbled! I'm a teacher and quite often have to lead staff meetings and dread it. I make sure I'm not hungry, have a bottle of water to hand to swig at and give people handouts at the start so hopefully they'll read them and not look at me!!! I also make sure I have something in my hand to fiddle with - bit of blu tac is good. Could you give out handouts or have something on the OHP or smartboard that your class can be looking at while you talk? Or could you involve them in the talk - give them something to do? Try rescue remedy it might take the edge off a bit.
I know 5 mins must seem like a life time, but once you get going it will be over before you know it!
Take Care
Love Helen

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi Willow.

I know exactly what you mean, you took the words right out of my mouth literally! I get so embarrassed sometimes, because when I speak up in a group I end up saying the wrong things! Its not nice at all is it, I expect its just nerves. lol.

Scooby2005
x x

[WILL0W]

Thank you all so much. All your comments were very helpful. Monkey thats a great idea give the anxiety a funny name so you can laugh at it!!! I also hate those intros at the beginning of courses!!!

Giddy you are very brave it must be difficult with anxiety being a teacher but you have some good tips there for coping. Do you find you are alright with the kids? Or is it hard in front of adults and kids?

I'm glad I could relate what I felt Scooby as you said you felt the same.

Best wishes with public speaking everyone,
love
Willow.x

[MrMonkey]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> Monkey thats a great idea give the anxiety a funny name so you can laugh at it!!!
<div align="right">Originally posted by WILL0W - 16 May 2006 : 12:02:34</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

That's what I thought, so feel free todo the same if it helps :)

* * *
It's just my high anxiety getting to the best of me. I call him Bingbongilypoop. Then I can laugh at him cos he has a funny name. HAHA! [points]

[giddy]

Hi Willow _ glad we could be of some help. I teach 5 and 6 year olds and have no problems at all in class. I'm a lead literacy teacher and have lots of people in watching my lessons and that doesn't bother me either, but stick me in a room full of 'grown ups' and I've had it!!!
Love Helen