rosa_j_t
12-09-11, 21:45
Hi
I thought I'd start a thread about the things, strategies you find helpful to staying positive about overcoming anxiety.
We all have those days/weeks/months/years etc when you just feel like you can't go on like this, otherwise you wouldn't be on this part of the forum. Such feelings vary enormously in intensity, so the things that will help will vary too, and some will suit different people differently.
Probably best to start at the bottom, when things are really, really serious. A friend of mine shared this link with me, she found it very helpful when trying to get through the dark days of Depression (not anxiety related)
Suicide: Read This First http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
She also had a small stone she really liked, I think it was a moonstone, and she would often hold it and stroke its smooth surface, and found it soothing. They call it self soothing. I sometimes do the same if I'm lying down after a crying sesh, and stroke my own hair, in the way that my mum used to, and sometimes will say out loud to myself, "Sh, it's OK. Everything'll be OK, you'll see" invoking the comfort of hearing my mum say that. Sounds corny, but it works for me.
Another friend used to have a list of phone numbers to ring when he was at his lowest: his GP, his mum, his brother, the Samaritans etc. I think part of it was just having a list, that was a comfort.
Sometimes I've found it helpful to hear success stories, or talk to people who've overcome anxiety. Helplines that are staffed by such people can be helpful here.
But the most important thing I think is to not beat yourself up about having anxiety. We all do it I'm sure, but having anxiety is not your fault, nor is it anything to be ashamed of. Some people go through their lives without dealing with anxiety, because in some ways it's easier, and it takes real courage to try and tackle it. That's right, you're brave! You're so brave! Be proud of yourself! You're doing the best you can!
In a similar vein, if you can, spend a bit of time pampering yourself. I know this sounds so... superficial, so... the sort of thing someone would say who just didn't understand how awful it feels. Wrong. I do know. I've been there, I am there, myself. And do you know what? I'll go for hours or days without doing anything nice, working myself into a right state, then beating myself up about it!
Then I realise what I'm doing and decide that actually, I'm going to spend the next few hours doing something nice, for me. And then I'll pick something that I know also helps with anxiety e.g. playing my guitar (and singing my heart out! :scared15:) or doing a little painting while listening to my favourite music or a radio show/podcast, or watching a TV show that makes me feel good and warm and fuzzy inside (for me, it's Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes :D).
Find things to laugh and smile about. OK, this is another one that sounds like it couldn't possibly work. But I've heard of research (heard, so I can't provide references I'm afraid) that shows that smiling, however artificially and insincere, sends signals to the brain to release happy hormones. Apparently the same is true of clapping (who'd have known that?!). And everyone knows how good it feels to laugh. So stick on a TV show that makes you laugh. I'm not saying things'll change overnight, but I've found that if I go for days without seeing people (which happens fairly often, I have a chronic physical illness too) I don't smile/laugh so much when I'm on my own, and gradually I feel more and more down.
Whereas if I look for things to laugh/smile about, either on TV, while talking to friends (give that friend/relative a call, the one who's always cracking jokes, or has that ability to tell a story in such a way that's just so funny!) or just looking at nice pictures on the internet (and no, I don't mean those sorts of pictures! I meant nice scenery. Of mountains and stuff. Honest!) that bring a smile to my face, I feel just a tiny teeny weensy bit better. And that is something. Every step is small. And every step matters.
Sometimes I'll trawl the internet looking for funny things. Such as my current favourites:
Funny things said in courtrooms - http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml
Perfectly Times Photos (a bit hit or miss this one, but some are brilliant) - http://perfectlytimedphotos.com./perfectly-timed-photo/popular/9408-it-s-rudolf-the-red-nosed-d
The Sound of a Baby Laughing (might not be everyone's thing, but for me the laughing is infectious!) - http://joe-ks.com/archives_may2005/Elastic_Baby.htm
And I know that some of these things don't change the fact that you have anxiety, or the cause of the anxiety (if there is one, e.g. for me it's the chronic physical illness, something I can't change) but if it makes you feel just a tiny, tiny bit less awful, for one moment, then it's worth trying, isn't it?
Anyway, this is a horrendously long post. Sorry! What things have you found help you? I'm sure just sharing tips will be useful for everyone.
EDIT: OK, I've just realised there's a whole other section of the forum for Top Tips, *slaps forehead!* I'm happy to move it if the moderators want...?
I thought I'd start a thread about the things, strategies you find helpful to staying positive about overcoming anxiety.
We all have those days/weeks/months/years etc when you just feel like you can't go on like this, otherwise you wouldn't be on this part of the forum. Such feelings vary enormously in intensity, so the things that will help will vary too, and some will suit different people differently.
Probably best to start at the bottom, when things are really, really serious. A friend of mine shared this link with me, she found it very helpful when trying to get through the dark days of Depression (not anxiety related)
Suicide: Read This First http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
She also had a small stone she really liked, I think it was a moonstone, and she would often hold it and stroke its smooth surface, and found it soothing. They call it self soothing. I sometimes do the same if I'm lying down after a crying sesh, and stroke my own hair, in the way that my mum used to, and sometimes will say out loud to myself, "Sh, it's OK. Everything'll be OK, you'll see" invoking the comfort of hearing my mum say that. Sounds corny, but it works for me.
Another friend used to have a list of phone numbers to ring when he was at his lowest: his GP, his mum, his brother, the Samaritans etc. I think part of it was just having a list, that was a comfort.
Sometimes I've found it helpful to hear success stories, or talk to people who've overcome anxiety. Helplines that are staffed by such people can be helpful here.
But the most important thing I think is to not beat yourself up about having anxiety. We all do it I'm sure, but having anxiety is not your fault, nor is it anything to be ashamed of. Some people go through their lives without dealing with anxiety, because in some ways it's easier, and it takes real courage to try and tackle it. That's right, you're brave! You're so brave! Be proud of yourself! You're doing the best you can!
In a similar vein, if you can, spend a bit of time pampering yourself. I know this sounds so... superficial, so... the sort of thing someone would say who just didn't understand how awful it feels. Wrong. I do know. I've been there, I am there, myself. And do you know what? I'll go for hours or days without doing anything nice, working myself into a right state, then beating myself up about it!
Then I realise what I'm doing and decide that actually, I'm going to spend the next few hours doing something nice, for me. And then I'll pick something that I know also helps with anxiety e.g. playing my guitar (and singing my heart out! :scared15:) or doing a little painting while listening to my favourite music or a radio show/podcast, or watching a TV show that makes me feel good and warm and fuzzy inside (for me, it's Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes :D).
Find things to laugh and smile about. OK, this is another one that sounds like it couldn't possibly work. But I've heard of research (heard, so I can't provide references I'm afraid) that shows that smiling, however artificially and insincere, sends signals to the brain to release happy hormones. Apparently the same is true of clapping (who'd have known that?!). And everyone knows how good it feels to laugh. So stick on a TV show that makes you laugh. I'm not saying things'll change overnight, but I've found that if I go for days without seeing people (which happens fairly often, I have a chronic physical illness too) I don't smile/laugh so much when I'm on my own, and gradually I feel more and more down.
Whereas if I look for things to laugh/smile about, either on TV, while talking to friends (give that friend/relative a call, the one who's always cracking jokes, or has that ability to tell a story in such a way that's just so funny!) or just looking at nice pictures on the internet (and no, I don't mean those sorts of pictures! I meant nice scenery. Of mountains and stuff. Honest!) that bring a smile to my face, I feel just a tiny teeny weensy bit better. And that is something. Every step is small. And every step matters.
Sometimes I'll trawl the internet looking for funny things. Such as my current favourites:
Funny things said in courtrooms - http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml
Perfectly Times Photos (a bit hit or miss this one, but some are brilliant) - http://perfectlytimedphotos.com./perfectly-timed-photo/popular/9408-it-s-rudolf-the-red-nosed-d
The Sound of a Baby Laughing (might not be everyone's thing, but for me the laughing is infectious!) - http://joe-ks.com/archives_may2005/Elastic_Baby.htm
And I know that some of these things don't change the fact that you have anxiety, or the cause of the anxiety (if there is one, e.g. for me it's the chronic physical illness, something I can't change) but if it makes you feel just a tiny, tiny bit less awful, for one moment, then it's worth trying, isn't it?
Anyway, this is a horrendously long post. Sorry! What things have you found help you? I'm sure just sharing tips will be useful for everyone.
EDIT: OK, I've just realised there's a whole other section of the forum for Top Tips, *slaps forehead!* I'm happy to move it if the moderators want...?