Maxine1001
13-09-11, 20:56
Hello my name is Maxine and im 22.
Ive been feeling anxious for the last 2 years but recently a lot of bad things seemed to happen all at once. I had my first panic attack 5 months ago and at first it was diagnosed as iron deficiency anemia (which I had at the time) but I have since found that this diagnosis seems to have masked the panic attack problem and allowed it to get worse.
Ive recently been diagnosed with GAD and PD. My panic attacks have recently become more terrifying, more frequent and more intense. I think it started with me worrying about work, but in the last 10 weeks, a friend who was the same age as me died from cancer, which even though he was terminal for about a year still shocked me. About a week after that I was due to go on holiday and was nervous about the flight. I was fine the whole flight until we got into landing where the pilot had to perform a go-around. Ive learnt since that on the island we visited that this happens more often than most other airports but becuse it had never happened to me before I had I think the biggest panic attack up to that point. For the whole week we were away I was completly consumed by thoughts our plane was going to crash and couldnt get visions of a plane I was on crashing into the water, also for some reason when I went swimming in the see I couldnt stop thinking that there was a man eating shark in the same waters that was going to attack me. On the same holiday I even convinced myself that the Spanish mafia were trying to kill me and my friends and that they had spiked some of our drinks; it completly ruined my holiday.
About a week after we got back I had a work fun day/its a knockout day competing against other stores on the region. THe drive to the location was fine, about 20 miles down a few A-roads and dual carriageways. All went fine and I was having a really good day. Then on the way back as I was going up a hill (which was a notorious accident blackspot) my wheel arch mud guard on my near side tyre came loose and started catching my tyre (I was doing about 65mph) causing my car to shake and making a really horrible noise. The way my car was wobbling I thought that my tyre had come loose and was going to fall off and then we would be in a huge accident (I gave 2 friends a lift home) so I had to stop. Unfortunatly on this particular stretch of road there was no hard shoulder and no lay-bys so I had to stop in the inner land of the dual carriageway. All I remember is stopping and ordering my friends out of the car, the next 20 minutes has to be the worst of my entire life up to that point. Normally any roadside recovery would tell you to wait up an embankment and away from the car but this was not possible. There were trees and shrubs on the roadside that didnt allow you to get safely away from the road. I just remember looking down the roadside and seeing 2 sets of flowers tied to posts. In total I think there were 4 near accidents from people trying to avoid my car - luckily there wasnt an actual accident. Everyone afterwards said that I should of slowed down and found somewhere to pull in but from where I was, the next turn off wasnt for a whole mile and in my head my tyre was going to come off so there would be an accident either way. THis makes me feels worse and I can feel panic attacks coming on just thinking about this. Since then I havent been able to drive down a dual carriageway without feeling a panic attack coming on, in my car they are so intense that I have to stop.
I dont know why, but after that came Amy Winehouses death which shocked me more than it should, it got to the point where I couldnt stop thinking about how young she was and how alone she was when she passed on.
In the past 4 weeks ive had 5 full blown panic attacks and can feel the signs of one pretty much everyday but manage to calm myself down. I try to distract myself by doing something different but ive found that it dosent always work. I havent yet found a method that works 100% yet. My doctor has pescribed numerous medications but each of them had a side effect which made me panic more. I find myself phoning the NHS direct about 2 or 3 times a week in hysterics convinced something terrible is wrong. I even once had to stop myself dialing 999 after a really bad one about a week ago.
I havent found my method yet but am finding this website helpful already. Its nice to know that I am not the only one and that it is possible to get through it. :)
Ive been feeling anxious for the last 2 years but recently a lot of bad things seemed to happen all at once. I had my first panic attack 5 months ago and at first it was diagnosed as iron deficiency anemia (which I had at the time) but I have since found that this diagnosis seems to have masked the panic attack problem and allowed it to get worse.
Ive recently been diagnosed with GAD and PD. My panic attacks have recently become more terrifying, more frequent and more intense. I think it started with me worrying about work, but in the last 10 weeks, a friend who was the same age as me died from cancer, which even though he was terminal for about a year still shocked me. About a week after that I was due to go on holiday and was nervous about the flight. I was fine the whole flight until we got into landing where the pilot had to perform a go-around. Ive learnt since that on the island we visited that this happens more often than most other airports but becuse it had never happened to me before I had I think the biggest panic attack up to that point. For the whole week we were away I was completly consumed by thoughts our plane was going to crash and couldnt get visions of a plane I was on crashing into the water, also for some reason when I went swimming in the see I couldnt stop thinking that there was a man eating shark in the same waters that was going to attack me. On the same holiday I even convinced myself that the Spanish mafia were trying to kill me and my friends and that they had spiked some of our drinks; it completly ruined my holiday.
About a week after we got back I had a work fun day/its a knockout day competing against other stores on the region. THe drive to the location was fine, about 20 miles down a few A-roads and dual carriageways. All went fine and I was having a really good day. Then on the way back as I was going up a hill (which was a notorious accident blackspot) my wheel arch mud guard on my near side tyre came loose and started catching my tyre (I was doing about 65mph) causing my car to shake and making a really horrible noise. The way my car was wobbling I thought that my tyre had come loose and was going to fall off and then we would be in a huge accident (I gave 2 friends a lift home) so I had to stop. Unfortunatly on this particular stretch of road there was no hard shoulder and no lay-bys so I had to stop in the inner land of the dual carriageway. All I remember is stopping and ordering my friends out of the car, the next 20 minutes has to be the worst of my entire life up to that point. Normally any roadside recovery would tell you to wait up an embankment and away from the car but this was not possible. There were trees and shrubs on the roadside that didnt allow you to get safely away from the road. I just remember looking down the roadside and seeing 2 sets of flowers tied to posts. In total I think there were 4 near accidents from people trying to avoid my car - luckily there wasnt an actual accident. Everyone afterwards said that I should of slowed down and found somewhere to pull in but from where I was, the next turn off wasnt for a whole mile and in my head my tyre was going to come off so there would be an accident either way. THis makes me feels worse and I can feel panic attacks coming on just thinking about this. Since then I havent been able to drive down a dual carriageway without feeling a panic attack coming on, in my car they are so intense that I have to stop.
I dont know why, but after that came Amy Winehouses death which shocked me more than it should, it got to the point where I couldnt stop thinking about how young she was and how alone she was when she passed on.
In the past 4 weeks ive had 5 full blown panic attacks and can feel the signs of one pretty much everyday but manage to calm myself down. I try to distract myself by doing something different but ive found that it dosent always work. I havent yet found a method that works 100% yet. My doctor has pescribed numerous medications but each of them had a side effect which made me panic more. I find myself phoning the NHS direct about 2 or 3 times a week in hysterics convinced something terrible is wrong. I even once had to stop myself dialing 999 after a really bad one about a week ago.
I havent found my method yet but am finding this website helpful already. Its nice to know that I am not the only one and that it is possible to get through it. :)