The Black Mutt aka Depression

[KK77]

I have worked pretty much all my life, had several serious relationships and led a "normal" life....like any other I guess. I have suffered with depression since I was a child.

In the last few years I have also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and CFS which in many ways has compounded my depression.

Today the black dog of depression returned. It was so strong that if I never held on to my convictions and self-belief, having survived perhaps worse in the past, I think the descent into the black abyss would have been quick and inexorable.

As it is, perhaps due to recent circumstances as well, I feel shit, but to all those out there who battle with this Black Dog (aka as depression), I want to offer you hope that you too can survive it ... and that this too shall pass...

[diane07]

Mel.

Just to let you know that i'm here mate if you need to talk and i'm going to send you a great big :bighug1:

Bootsie xxxx

[M155anthr0p3]

You are strong enough to battle it alone but even if you weren't I would not let you fall into that black abyss again. A promise from me for life xxx

[ElizabethJane]

I'm sorry Mel that you are feeling depressed. I would like to offer my support. EJ

[M155anthr0p3]

Besides..Mexico needs you..
I've got the crack ready for you LOL..& I've got my dodgy nail bar...

[snowgoose]

hello you
friend and support to so many :hugs:
we have not talked much here .but I watch and see .

I am on your shoulder .........not as a burden [you got enough of those ] ..........just supporting you from afar .......and saying prayers for you .
hold on ........hold on . your friends are here who understand . I DO .

GOT YA ..............now then we swim out of this abyss to the light .
hold my hand .........cos you have friends here who have held mine . and I aint letting go of you either . xxx

[rosa_j_t]

You may already know about these, who knows you may already be a member, but there are forums online for people with CFS/ME.

I joined one a couple of years ago, Foggy Friends, and they're a wonderful support network. Sometimes I think it's like an oasis of calm and understanding in a sea of darkness. They've kept me going through some tough times.

Sounds like you've had a rough old ride. Take care. xxx

[KK77]

Thanks very much for your kind replies - it means a lot to me.

I guess survival is the key...putting one foot in front of the other and soldiering on. The alternative for me is unthinkable.

PS I'm getting the caravan ready as we speak MI55 E

[M155anthr0p3]

We'll do nicely as trailer trash....

[Alicat]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling :hugs:

[bottleblond]

Mate

I am soooooooo sorry that i have just noticed this thread.

I am here for you any time me darlin poppet. Pm or ring me if you want a chat.

Loads of luvvage
:bighug1:
BB no 'e' aka MM's under dog
xxxxx

[Bill]

Something I wrote a long time back which I wondered if would help you smile.:)



Black Dog


Black dog, black dog, please go away,
Leave me to enjoy this one fine day,
Just one day of pure pleasure,
To do with at my leisure,

Black dog, black dog, please leave me alone,
Go and play or gnaw on your bone,
For I need this one day of mine,
A pause, a break, this one moment in time,

Black dog, black dog, please ignore me,
Pretend I’m not here, too hard to see,
In this bright sunlight, this warm sunshine,
This relaxing day you won’t let me find,

Black dog, black dog, my faithful “friend”,
Refusing to leave me, to let me mend,
Always within me as dark as night,
Always there within my sight,
If you will not leave me, let me take you by your lead,
So you may guide me, away from my despair and misery.:woof

[KK77]

Thanks BB and Bill.

I don't often feel sorry for myself and try to be stoical and philosophical about my lot but I was having a bad day when I started this thread. Writing it down helped and perhaps my attitude, whether you agree with it or not, will help someone else. After all, attitude is everything.

Thanks for caring guys...

[JT69]

Hello MM

I feel dreadful that I have only just seen this post or I would of replied alot sooner...I just wanted to say I am sorry that you are feeling like this and am here for you.

Hope the buxxxx passes soon.

Take care of you.

Lots of hugs
Jo.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:xxx

[Bill]

I don't often feel sorry for myself...I was having a bad day when I started this thread. Writing it down helped

MM,
You weren't feeling sorry for yourself. You just had a bad day, was feeling low and needed to offload which then helped you to feel better.

You Are entitled to feel low at times. It's perfectly natural so be kind to yourself and offload Any time you need to! That's what we're all here for; to support each other because none of us can be full of the joys of spring all the time. The important thing to remember is that it helped you.:winks:

[KK77]

Thanks folks. Just that I hate blaming this illness on everything that goes wrong in life. It's so easy to do but I also have to cut myself some slack at times.

So tonight the Black Dog is with me once again... I decided to make myself a very large Thai chicken curry to occupy myself (and stuff myself) after a crap night out. I know it's a cliché but people who have never suffered with mental health issues are sometimes as insensitive as a rhino's arse.

Yet staying at home and isolating yourself isn't the answer either. It's balance I've always struggled to find.

Oh well, my curry beckons...

[bottleblond]

:roflmao:

You have a fabulous way with words poppet.

Now that curry with go straight to your hips. :winks:

:hugs:

xxxxx

[Bill]

I think if I were honest I'd have to confess to being depressed every day because even when I do enjoy something it always feels like a distraction. However, that's the only way I can cope daily by finding things I know I enjoy to keep giving me something to look forward to even if that does mean finding constant distractions. Sometimes though I do actually find something I can say I did really enjoy but those events are most often very infrequent because of my situation and the mistakes I've made that are too late to rectify. Such is life though.

[JaneC]

Hello MM, sorry to hear Winnie and his mutt are back bothering you again :mad:. I hope the curry went down well and that you are feeling a bit better today. Too much human contact exhausts me at times but at other times I have to force myself to get out there because withdrawing isn't good either.

But I know you will get through this - why? Because I know you won't surrender, comrade, not matter how tempting it can be at times xxx

[JT69]

Hey MM

Hope you are feeling a bit more yourself and that blooming black dog has barked off again...sodding nuisense that it is!!!

Hugs to you.:hugs:

Jo.x

[KK77]

The curry was amazing (even though I say so myself). It created a sink load of washing up which took me longer to clean than it did to cook the bloody thing tsk.

I think that if you're man (or woman) enough to admit you fall, then you're man enough to get back up, and that's what counts. I think we'll always have some form of stress in our lives...

MM is back on his feet so never surrender comrades.... Especially not to some mongrel mutt.

[bottleblond]

That's what i like to hear comrade poppet. :hugs:

[M155anthr0p3]

MM is a tougher beast than that pesky mutt....
Be gone I say!!

X

[bottleblond]

MM you coming to quizzy tonight Poppet? xxx

[mcray1981]

Thanks MM,

I'm having a bad patch at the moment and fighting that mongrel mutt trying to get it off my back. Your post gave me hope that I can do it and it will pass.

Thanks
:-)

[Veronica H]

:bighug1::bighug1:thinking of you. I know you give great support to others at NMP, and am glad that you shared how you are feeling with your friends here. Vx