I cant go anywhere new!

[k.browne]

I really do feel as though I am going mad! :(

gradually over the last couple of years my anxiety has grown to the point now where I feel myself starting to panic at the silliest of things!

It started originally with me panicking when I was going abroad for holiday - I would be physically sick before travelling to the airport, once in the airport I would be fine until it came to actually getting on the plane! I would then have panic attacks whilst on the plane worrying that I wouldnt be able to get out of my seat to get to the toilet if someone sat next to me and blocked me in - again this would make me physically ill! The plane itself doesnt scare me as I love flying - its just the feeling of what if I feel sick - what if I cant get to the toilet etc that gets me started!

These feeling have now spread to everyday life and if I am not doing something as a routine (ie, travelling to work in my car) I start to get worked up about it! My work have asked me to attend a training course in a different office, in a different city, and I just cannot go through with it! - I agreed initially but now it has crept up on me I feel physically ill thinking that I have got to get on a train to some strange place and a strange office with people I dont know!

I am so frustrated as this is not like me and I really do want to travel to different places and do different things - but the thought of it twists me up inside! The whole situation is getting me down and I find myself crying at the silliest things!

I have tried to speak to my partner about it but he just doesnt understand and thinks I am being silly - and tells me to just get on with it and I will be fine! - but I know I wont be!

If anybody has any advice or had similar experience please let me know as it would help me loads - I feel as if I am the only one feeling like this, and everyone else seems to live a normal life!

Thanks

Kerry

[sarah]

hiya Kerry

Welcome to the site!

believe me you arent the only one who feels like this..you definately arent being silly!
Have a good look round the forum and the homepage, theres loads of tips on copeing and top tips for journeys etc.
I can only tell you from my experience that I started avoiding things so much that I actually stopped going out altogether and its been really hard to get myself back out of it and doing things again.so advice from me would be to go on your training course but use some of the coping techniques you will find in here...everything from breathing techniques and distraction ideas to 'panic kits' we take out with us (which have mobile phones, rescue remedy, bottle of water, puzzle book etc).
I hope you find what you need in here and if not..feel free to post any questions or problems you may have.
Would it help you if you printed some info off from here and showed it to your partner to show you arent the only one???

love Sarah
xx

[k.browne]

Hi sarah,

Thanks for this - I am going to have a good look around the site today and see what I can find!

I think printing some of the stuff off would help my partner understand more - so I will do this.

many thanks for your help

Kerry


[/quote]

[Meg]

Hi Kerry,

What you're describing is more common than you think. Most people can associate with some of it.

The difference between people who then get anxious and those who don't is how you
cope with these thoughts.
We tend to escalate them and give the thoughts a story and a life and we see images of the story being played out - usualy in the worst possible context and with the worst case scenario.

People who don't panic will think of how they would cope with the fist thought and then dismiss it and think about other things totally unrelated.

Please read 'first steps' and the website pages and we're here if you have any questions.

Sometimes you just have to JFDI some things.. Just Do It and once you've had a few event free trips talk yourself down from feeling ill by reminding yourself how sucessful you've been.

You won't feel great to start with but you will manage it.





Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

[stimpy]

Hi Kerry and Welcome

You aren't the only one feeling like this.
To people who haven't suffered with anxiety problems, then it can sound silly.
But it isn't silly at all.

We are full of bright ideas to help you feel better.
I hope you find one that works for you.

Good luck

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[Lilith]

Dear Kerry,

I don't really have any advice to add to what's already been said. I just wanted to tell you that you are not going mad, you are not silly, and you are not alone! I can identify with everything you said, especially the part about being on a plane and being worried about being blocked in, being sick, and all the other "what ifs." I get the same feeling in movie theaters, public transportation, etc. The best things I learned were first of all, to cut caffeine out of my diet. After that, learning to tell myself "you're not going crazy, it's just anxiety" helped enormously. Read as much as you can on this website - there is much to learn.

Best wishes to you!

[uryjm]

Hi Kerry
I'd just like to echo the above posts. "You're not going crazy, it's just the anxiety." I can relate to what you're saying about flying. Despite the fact that I fly up and down to London about once a week, I never know if I'm going to be totally relaxed or if I'll be sweating buckets wondering if I'm going to run shrieking for the door at 30,000 feet! I've given up wondering about the why's and wherefore's, and just kind of accept that's the way it is for me. The important thing is not to let it get you down and to go easy on yourself. Life can and does go happily along even while panicking over bits of it!

Jim

[nomorepanic]

Hi Kerry

Welcome to the site. As you can see, people here will offer all the advice that they can and you will get as much support as you want/need.

If the new job sounds too much then I suggest that you discuss this with your boss. No point putting yourself through so much stress if it makes you ill.

I am sure your partner will understand if he understands that these feeelings are quite normal and you are not alone. Look how many members we have on here!!

Let us know how it goes ok?

Nicola

[Chris]

hi kerry...

i was very simular to yourself, in fact still am, still anxious a lot of the time....and hey...u have done the plane bit, i havent....yet.....

its not silly, its just your/our way of dealing with things, think of your work thing like this...if u didnt know about it, till the morning of the course.....would u have spent all this time worrying so badly....and is doing all this worrying improving how u feel, or makin u feel worse.....

i would try to give it a go if poss, if it goes wrong...you suddenly became ill didnt you ;) nod nod wink wink...

u gotta try things to beat them...and improve your self confidence, think how you'll feel after, top of the world..achievement

your other half not understanding is not comforting i know...i have been there...the support and understanding from the person closest to u is important...print some stuff off and leave it lying around, he will pick it up and read it i'm sure, even if out of curiosity...eventually he'll realise how important this is to u , and how much u want him to be there for u, whenever...

best of luck with it all....big hug form a moron, lol...

chris xx

[lilac kitten]

Kerry,

I started having these problems when I was 14 and skipped a lot of school because of it. Then again at 17. Slowly though I met some good friends and had a good boyfriend and my anxiety about being sick in public kind of went away. I say went away, it was still there in the back of my mind, but I had a so what if I am attitude. In fact I went all the way to Donnington Rock Festival only to get there and have an upset tummy all weekend and sat outside the venue until eventually giving up and going home.

Just recently my dad died and along with the kids we've had one virus after another this year. My anxiety of being sick when I'm out has come back. So much so I even have problems doing the school run. This phobia also has led to panic attacks when I drive, get stuck in traffic jams, and motorways are definitely out the question at the moment.

However, having addressed I have some problems, I am slowly trying to get round it again. I've popped some carrier bags in my handbag - just in case, and some mints and a bottle of water, and I plan my outings carefully. I got stuck in the Citizens advice bureau the other day for longer than I planned and started to look for exits, etc.

I got into Basingstoke on Sunday with partner and kids, and did OK at getting my sons school shoes fitted, but when we went to get the football boots I had a major panic and had to go back to the car, as soon as I was there I was OK and felt really silly.

I've also started a good exercise regeime, just walking to Tesco with the kids after work and trying to stay calm, doesn't always work, but its good therapy to try it. I've also cut down on Tea and have three spaced out cuppas a day. I've changed my diet to be more healthy, but still allow myself some treats and have cut down my alcohol intake so I try not to have any in the week and only a couple of glasses of wine or beer at the weekends.

I know I've come out of this before and started looking at things rationally, and although the thoughts never go away completely, I can get on with my life. I just hope with perseverence I can get through this again. I think a lot of my problems are insecurity and lack of confidence. Although I am confidentish and comfortable with myself, I always worry about what others think of me, and when my son was sick in Tescos I paniced because other people were making a fuss - instead of just ignoring it and looking the other way. I know these things aren't pleasant, but with kids there are some things which can't be helped. So of course going out with them makes me nervous as well - I hope that makes sense.

I hope I've made you feel that you're not alone.

Good luck,
Ruth

[Meg]

Ruth,

Good for you for taking things so logically and taking such great steps to get over it again.

All the best




Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire