Over analysing in my relationship.

[Ethan]

Hi, for the past 2 months I have had this overwhelming feeling that my girlfriend is cheating on me with my best friend. I have no evidence and no reason to think it, we have a great relationship and she has never voiced any concerns to me. I have always been an anxious person and always worried about every little thing to stupid lengths. It all started when I couldn't get hold of either of them on the phone and something triggered this feeling inside me. I know it sounds crazy but I over analyse this so much that every little thing with either of them say or do and I can usually find negative results in all the feedback. For example. Things my best friend has said and now I think hes being overly nice to me. It's destroying me on a daily basis and i don't know what to do. I really don't think that either of them would do it to me but that still doesn't make this torturous feeling go away. In a past relationship the girl cheated on me and if I think about it I can still feel the pain and now it's as though I've transferred these feelings to my new relationship. My imagination is crazy. I can literally picture scenarios of them together. I really need some advice. Has anyone else been through this??*

[diane07]

Hi Ethan

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[ttom]

That kind of attitude is going to be really damaging to a relationship. I know you cant help it but you have to take steps to change. Start getting involved with hobbies and other people, if your girlfriend can sense you are (almost) dependent on her she will find you less attractive, so you need to have other things going on in your life. Once you 'get a life' outside of your girlfriend you will start to care less about whether or not she is cheating on you (and the funny thing is that this will make her less likely to cheat on you).

Hope that helps :)

[Anxious_gal]

Anytime I had that feeling I was always right. I confirmed it by reading their text messages.
Your paranoia will destroy the relashionship but first you need t figure out if you really are just being paranoid.

[M155anthr0p3]

I believe in gut instinct.
But also paranoia....

If it's really destroying you inside then you need to be honest with her.
Keeping it all inside is only going to cause resentment.

Good luck!

Emily

[Ethan]

Thanks guys, the weirdest thing is I genuinely don't think she is. But I'm constantly worrying about. I've always needed constant reassurance throughout my life with everything and I no keep going on about it will drive her away. I just want to know how to stop thinking the worst on everything and have the strength to not worry so much. I also recently quit smoking weed and I was smoking a lot. I think this has something to do with my paranoia.

[Anxious_gal]

Wear a rubber band and snap it every time you get those thoughts, you need to retrain your brain, the worry has become a habit and maybe even OCD.
Try and write down all these thoughts in a journal, they won't feel so real when you see them on paper.
Therapy could help too.

Everyone has the ability to cheat on you and to hurt you, you can't prevent it or control so you need to accept that.

You are afraid of getting hurt and maybe even afraid of trusting too much.
When something bad happens we naturally try to prevent it from happening again so in a way I think you are just trying to protect yourself and maybe even trying to prepare for the worst out come.

sit down with her and talk to her about this, maybe an honest conversation will be good for you both..

[Ethan]

Really appreciate your help thank you. I feel better already.