Hi - work anxiety

[cally24]

Hello all,

My names Amy and I'm 23 years old. Two weeks ago I started a new teaching job and have been struggling with anxiety ever since. The way I'm feeling is new and may disappear in time, but I know it's not normal. I'm finding everything very frightening and am going to see a counsellor tomorrow.

The school is difficult and it's been a shock to the system. My expectations of the children seem to be too high and as I'm so used to having control over class it's causing me a lot of anxiety. I've spent all weekend a nervous wreck and I'm scared of how I'm going to face tomorrow morning. I've already broken down to my boyfriend and exploded at him over something trivial. I don't like the way I'm feeling at all and I so badly want to feel normal again. I'm very negative over everything and I struggle to see the positive in anything I do. I also struggle to switch off and not think about work, which I think is making things worse. This new job hasn't been what I expected and I can't seem to accept that 2 weeks is no time for me to expect to have settled in.

The job market is very tough at the moment, and resigning is not an option. I also fail to see how I can expect to get a job if I left so soon. I really hope things get better soon, but I don't see that ever happening.

I hope this forum can be a source of some comfort.

[nomorepanic]

Hi cally24

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Col]

You are very very lucky!!!!!!

Firstly because you can physically make it to work and secondly because I'm someone who's got a 2:1 science degree 1.2% off a first and did this as a young mum, I later married completed my degree also have a maths and science foundation degree AND after my second child and after working in an NHS lab for a year I decided to go into teaching AND......... Had to quit my PGCE course ( this new year )and the uni staff didn't contact me for two months regarding what happens if I was to return , all my coursework etc. I put in a complaint SO my returning to my home town uni will be difficult!

I started with panic this new year AND mine was serious build up of stress, but I'm still not work ready and heartbroken about the teaching situation wondering when I do feel fit enough to start again, what will I do??? I've been absolutely heartbroken. I hate quitting a game never mind a course to qualify me to teach and finally give me a profession!

Anyway enough about me, but I just wanted to spur you on and make you think " gosh yep I am lucky there's people out there a lot worse than me".
And give you a bit of perspective, your young talented and I'd love to trade places with you ( career wise).

Hope that's made you think, because I bet your a great teacher and have a lot to offer these kids, enjoy it :winks:

[Mr.Jitters]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear that you're not having such a great time in your new job. It's completely normal to feel anxious and even negative at times like this, and often the feeling passes in time. However, those of us more prone to severe anxiety or negative thinking need to act quickly to stop things from getting worse, and finding support networks and seeing a counsellor sounds like a great place to start. Good luck for tomorrow.

If it's a comfort to you, I'm dreading tomorrow morning too. I'm returning as a student, trying to put Panic Disorder & Agoraphobia behind me. If you find a way to switch it off for tonight, please share the secret :)

Kam

[cally24]

Oh trust me, I know this. I've read through the site and I understand that things could be worse. But right now, not even reading other people's experiences make me feel better. I had depression when I was at school and have self-harmed on and off for years. I should have seeked help then but the cries of 'it could be worse' put me off. Like I said, it doesn't help and I want to start finding help before things get worse. You say I can face going into work, right now I'm not so sure how I'm going to handle tomorrow morning.

[HypnosWisher]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear of your problems. I hope you find the necessary support on here. :)

Mike

[dorothy1983]

Hi Cally21,

I agree that someone saying 'think yourself lucky, you could be worse' made me feel worse too. I am back tomorrow after nearly three months off sick with the anxiety and panic attacks. I am dreading it, but know it is something I am just going to have to do. I desperately do not want to go back, its an awful feeling, but I am hoping that if I just get in there and crack on with it, then with time the feelings will pass.

Is there anything in particular which you feel is making you feel this way, or is it generally just being the 'new person' in a new job? That WILL pass in time, but if it is something more deep rooted, you need to see if you can do something about it sooner rather than later, as the longer you allow it to drag on, the worse you may feel.
Could you do something proactive, like look for another job in the meantime. If you get one, bonus, but at least you know in the back of your mind that you are doing something, and will hopefully eventually get something so that you dont have to be out of work.

Good luck with tomorrow.

[Col]

:huh:I didn't want to make anyone feel worse, but sometimes it's good to share experiences to bring a bit of perspective into our own lives, that's all.
Plus some poor individuals want to work and genuinely can't because of this and can you imagine other issues such as loosing your home due to loss of income etc!!!!!
In my opinion were all on here for support, advice and to share our own experiences and that's all I was doing, sharing my experience and encouraging and praising you as a good teacher.
My response would have been sorry to hear you've had a shocking time too but......etc,
I find it sad when people get easily offended on here, especially with someone who shares a common ground and is trying to shed light on their own traumatic experiences, whilst at the same time being honest and complimentary.

I hope u do make it tomorrow, take it from someone like me, who knows what it's like not to make it!

[Deepest Blue]

Hi Amy,

Welcome to the forum :hugs:

I can certainly relate to how you're feeling as I felt the same way when I started my first job and was basically dumped right in it, I had no guidance or training for a long time and I really struggled especially when I wasn't really producing many results.

I eventually started to cope with the workload but I needed to speak to my manager about how overwhelming everything was, they were really good about it. I think people need to appreciate that with any new job it does take time to settle in.

Have you also thought about taking something to help you through this stressful time? I take Bisoprolol to help me.

I hope things get better for you, please continue to post and hopefully you will start to feel better x

Take Care.

[pass]

Could you not also think about how the children feel as they may be new too. I think that if you were to involve yourself with the children in another way such as during breaks etc it may help you to bond with them and to keep your mind off your role. Hope this helps and that you can see my point. Good luck.

[cally24]

Thanks for the kind words guys. I've had an ok day today, but I had an ok day last Monday and things got worse. I'm seeing my counsellor a week on Thursday, so we'll see how I get on with a session later in the week. She gave me some tips and a few things to try. It was odd talking about things I've not even told my boyfriend, it was quite hard actually and I felt quite exposed. But it's a new experience, so we'll see how it goes. I was shaking as I walked into school and nearly broke down a couple of times but I got through the day and I'm feeling calm tonight.

Normally I get in and sit in my work clothes and submit behaviour reports with a brew. Today I got changed and I'm sat browsing the web and watching TV instead. I think that's something I should have done from the start, hopefully it'll help.

[NMPTed]

Hiya and welcome to NMP I hope you find the help and advice here and maybe make a few friends in the process

:welcome:
__________________

[zygfried]

Hi Cally24, welcome to the site. I hope you do find it a source of comfort and good advice - I'm sure you will, it's been helpful to me so far. Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time at the moment. Things may well improve, if not, there are always other options, even when you might think and feel like there aren't. Do you have any teaching friends in a similar situation, starting out at a new school? Might be worth trying to confide in another teacher - if you know any you'd think are likely to be sympathetic, understanding and able to offer advice. Meantime, look after yourself and best of luckx

[boat ride]

It will just noing there is more out there, will be a big help.
Hang in there i hope you are just going down a bad road
at this time . It will pass keep your mind in a happy place .

If it is just starting jump on it right now dont let it
get the best of you .