Hi, new member, needs a bit of advice

[swifty]

In the future I’d love to be in the position to help others, but at the moment I’m struggling & need a bit of help. I think I’m anxious, a bit down & have lost confidence. I’m a 48-year-old male, married with 2 kids, living with all the normal ups & downs of family life.

About a year ago I noticed that occasionally I had a churning feeling in my stomach & that I started to feel worried about very simple things, this feeling became more regular. Earlier this year while on a family & friends daytrip, I had a very minor accident (I reversed my car into a post while parking) no one was hurt, but I think it triggered a response that was totally alien to me. I felt like a total failure, I felt panicky inside & I was scared. I tried to not to show it in front of everyone but my family & friends there, noticed that something wasn’t right with me. A couple of hours later I felt better & sort of played it down, I felt it was out of character for me & that I had let everyone down.

I’m worried that if I go to the Doctor, I will be offered drugs & will be recorded on my medical records, I feel that this could affect future mortgage applications, Insurances & Job applications etc.

I have tried taking St Johns Wort for 3 months but I feel the same. I have become very withdrawn & feel quite lonely.

If anyone can relate to this & can offer any self help tips, I’d be very grateful.

Thanks
Swifty

[nomorepanic]

Hi swifty

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Paige x

[Mr.Jitters]

Hi Swifty,

Sorry to hear that you're not doing so well. The good news is, you've certainly come to the right place for support.

I'm pretty sure that your doctor has to keep information about anxiety and depression entirely confidential, but someone should be able to clear that up for you. There's so much more help than just drugs you can get from your doctor, whether it's a book on prescription or a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or counselling. There are a lot of really useful self-help resources on the forums if you'd rather not involve your doctor.

I found Claire Weekes' books and audio files to be really helpful, and there are several free CBT courses out there that people have been quite positive about.

All the best!

[Babikins]

Hello there!

Firstly, there is no stigma attached to asking for help with anxiety and depression. It is a medical condition as valid as a broken leg or diabetes. Your GP can really get you some help if you can just find your way there to ask.

Don't forget, drugs aren't always the first line treatment. CBT, counselling and other forms of therapy can be incredibly beneficial and really help you get your life back on track.

As for being worried about a some sort of problem with mortgage/insurance/jobs, I don't know what to say! I find it incredibly sad that in this day and age we have to worry about the possible effects and judgements we will face if we admit having emotional or depressive problems. I have certainly never heard of anxiety or depression effecting any of the things you have mentioned, we live in a very sad world if it is true!

Babs.

[Teaboy2]

Hi Swifty

I can confirm that your medical history will not effect any mortage application though lenders may ask your HIV status and if you have had any HIV test in recent months prior to your application. In fact your medial conditions in general would only be needed for mortgage insurance protection if you choose to take it.

Heres an example of a mortgage application form, you will see it does not ask you for any medical information. Though mention of it is reffered to in the mortgage insurance protection section (which is optional anyway) - http://www.monbs.com/uploads/publications/503.pdf

Yes your condition may effect your insurance, but i can not see it doing so as it is not a highrisk (in lender and insurance terms) where as cancer would be. So your premiums should not really be effected by your conidion. Well i have anxiety too and have for 10 years on and off and its not effected mine.

As for employment, well it should not have any inpact on the decision on whether to employ you or not. If they did refuse you a job because of your condition, then you would have grounds to take them (employer/company) to the employment tribunal for disability discrimination as defined by the Equilty Act 2010 which includes mental health problems.

Heres some info about equilty act 2010 and what it covers, it doesn't specifically state Anxiety, but i does state depression etc. So anxiety is covered by it even though it doesnt include it in the information as an "example" of mental illness.

http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/uploaded_files/guidance_on_matters_to_be_taken_into_account_in_de termining_questions_relating_to_the_definition_of_ disability.pdf

[swifty]

A massive thank you Nicola, Paige, Mr. Jitters, Babs & Teaboy2 for your help in taking the time to set things out so clearly and comprehensively for me.

[daybyday]

:welcome: