paula lynne
22-09-11, 10:23
Hi friends x
Ive been a member of this forum for just over a year now. My last wedding anniversary last year was a disaster....I was gripped with panic, couldnt leave the house, drank too much, was posting threads on here non-stop, slept all the time, sat in a chair most of the day, and had the "woe is me" attitude 24/7.......
Thanks to the support of some very good friends here, this year is very different!
My husband and I are not only going out for a meal, but weve decided we wont plan anything, just drive until we find somewhere we like the look of...
Now, for anyone suffering with panic and anxiety, you will know PLANNING is a big thing, plan where you go, how long it will take to get there, how long you will be there, your escape route, how long will it take to get back to the house...etc etc etc,
Ive let go. Ive stopped trying to control it. Sure, Im a little dizzy, but I tell myself its excitement. Yes, I will still have my trusty paper bag with me, so what. Im going to wear a nice dress, do my hair, and enjoy it, every moment of it......after being trapped inside my house for years this is huge. But I dont care about the panic now. And it has finally given up on me! It doesnt control me, because I dont CARE about it any more. I stopped investing my time and energy into it, it has grown weak, and I have grow strong!
Nothing will stop me enjoying my 11th wedding anniversary. My husband deserves it. I deserve it. Im going, no excuses this year! Ive wasted enough time already investing in this illness. No more.
Thanks to everybody who has supported me over the last year, youve all been fantastic. :hugs:love Paula x
Ive been a member of this forum for just over a year now. My last wedding anniversary last year was a disaster....I was gripped with panic, couldnt leave the house, drank too much, was posting threads on here non-stop, slept all the time, sat in a chair most of the day, and had the "woe is me" attitude 24/7.......
Thanks to the support of some very good friends here, this year is very different!
My husband and I are not only going out for a meal, but weve decided we wont plan anything, just drive until we find somewhere we like the look of...
Now, for anyone suffering with panic and anxiety, you will know PLANNING is a big thing, plan where you go, how long it will take to get there, how long you will be there, your escape route, how long will it take to get back to the house...etc etc etc,
Ive let go. Ive stopped trying to control it. Sure, Im a little dizzy, but I tell myself its excitement. Yes, I will still have my trusty paper bag with me, so what. Im going to wear a nice dress, do my hair, and enjoy it, every moment of it......after being trapped inside my house for years this is huge. But I dont care about the panic now. And it has finally given up on me! It doesnt control me, because I dont CARE about it any more. I stopped investing my time and energy into it, it has grown weak, and I have grow strong!
Nothing will stop me enjoying my 11th wedding anniversary. My husband deserves it. I deserve it. Im going, no excuses this year! Ive wasted enough time already investing in this illness. No more.
Thanks to everybody who has supported me over the last year, youve all been fantastic. :hugs:love Paula x