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SickofIt
17-05-06, 22:27
I know that throughout my suffering with anxiety and panic, I have also dealt with depression. I have had dp/dr on and off, mostly due to unresolved anxiety.

I recently got laid off from my job, didn't get a job that I just knew I was going to get, and now I am home. Even though I didn't like that job, I would have preferred to either stuck it out, hoping things would have gotten better, or left for another (hopefully better) job. I was shocked that they "reorganized" the office the way they did and didn't give me much closure. I have had several bad job experiences in my life and find it very hard to trust. So, now I also feel somewhat paranoid about the whole thing.

My kids are in school all day and I suddenly feel like I have been thrust into a life that is beyond my control. My counselor and I have talked about my need, if you will, for control, and how that contributes to my anxiety.

I had somewhat of an overreaction to not getting the job I thought I was going to get, crying for quite some time and feeling pretty defeated. I even told everyone that I couldn't deal with this anymore and that I was just going to stay home. I've been home now for over a week and it feels very strange. I don't like it.

Anyway, getting back to my question. I feel detached from myself and the world around me, no interest in doing much of anything, low energy, eating more than usual, feeling sad and defeated, and kind of in a fog.

I'm wondering how similar the symptoms are, that perhaps it is depression that I am going through and not the "classic" dp/dr symptoms I have had in the past. This feels more like I am going through the motions of life, not like myself, rather than a viewing things from the outside kind of oddness that is prevalent with dp/dr.

I'm going to counseling and it's helping somewhat. It's difficult to carry on as usual, but I know that keeping things going normally is for the best.

Has anyone actually felt that they have had a breakdown like Claire Weeks describes in her book, "Hope and Help for your Nerves" ? I'm able to function pretty well and hope that this is just situational.

KatiePie
18-05-06, 20:39
Hello there
Poor you - things sound really tough right now. It does sound very much like depression from the way you describe it, but I'm no expert! I imagine that staying at home for a while would contribute to feeling quite detached from things. I tend to feel that way after a couple of days alone. Being surrounded by people and keeping busy tends to help me feel 'more normal' and stops me dwelling on things.
I haven't read the Claire Weeks book, so I can't comment on that. I think 'breakdown' is a bit of a nebulous term too....I guess what is important is how you feel. It's great that you're seeing a counsellor. Have you seen a doctor too, just to chat things through? Really hope you have a better day tomorrow!
KatiePie