Pretty bad ATM :(

[Glitterbugs]

Hey all,

I am struggling with a new relationship following a terrible and abusive marriage. All was good and we have been living together for a while but one (fairly big!) blip a couple of weeks ago has sent me spiraling into anxiety,insecurity, negativity about the relationship and just feel flat.

He says he loves me and we will get through this but I am finding it hard to beleive him and almost waiting for the worst to happen. I seem unable to focus on the positive and am blowing all negative things way out of proportion.

I hate this feeling...started anti depressents this week and am seeking couselling as I know this all stems from my past - ie the bad marriage.

Any words of support would help as I feel dreadful right now. xxx

[Rebecca10]

Hi Glitterbugs I'm sorry you are feeling like this right now. I'm sure you are doing exactly the right thing by seeking counselling and using medication. You have to remember as well that not every man is like what you have experienced in the past - I can't imagine what you went through in your previous marriage but if your partner knows how badly you were treated in your previous marriage then I'm sure he will be doing everything to try and make you feel secure with him. It will take time but I really hope you begin to feel better with the counselling and medication - don't let any man from your past ruin your life - everyone deserves to be happy and have a good relationship. Hope this helps you a little! xxx

[cheziecat]

Hi Glitterbugs,

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it.

I was in an abusive relationship when I was younger, came out of that and met someone else and had pretty much the same problem as you're having now. I basically (without realising it) pushed him away as I didn't think it was going to work after what I'd been through.
We managed to get through it, I found a really good counsellor and she helped a lot, I wasn't on any medication at the time, my anxiety and depression have only been a problem for the last few years but I think I probably could have done with some at the time.
Anyway, best thing you can do it just stick with it, get some counselling, an abusive relationship really does have a huge effect on your life - I still have some problems from it now and it was 16 years ago but things do get easier over time.

Hang on in there and if you ever want to chat I'm here if you need me

Take care

Cheryl

x

[Glitterbugs]

Thankyou both for your kind and very helpful words. Up and down and not so positive tonight as he is away for the night and the first few days of Citalopram are playing havoc with my mood! Up down up down!
Counselling starts tomorrow so I hope it will help just to be able to spill out how I feel without worrying I am putting too much on my partner and family. xxx