View Full Version : its back :(
i have had enough of trying to beat this now! i am 40 next year, i just feel i will never be free from this horrible illness :( do not want meds again.
i am at the end of my tether:weep:
Ellie-Bear
27-09-11, 10:38
You poor thing. Sending you :bighug1:.
Keep fighting, you've come this far. I too am sick to the back teeth of this endless battle but the moment I stop fighting the anxiety and panic set in.
Are you on any anti-d's? I can't take them as my body seems hyper sensitive to all meds that aren't pain killers. I get through with rescue remedy and diazepam. I've had 4 sessions of hypnotherapy which was also a great help. Just wish I could relax and didn't feel so ill most of the time.
Take care of yourself and you will get through this.
Xxxx
hi ellie, thanks so much for your reply, thought i was alone for a moment there :) i am not on meds right now, i just finished cbt about 4 months ago, which did help a little! but i seem to have gone back to square one, i have had a few family issues with my daughter and all the upset has thrown me right back :'( i have been on anti d's about 6 times in the past and i just feel horrible on them, so not sure what to do next, probably just have to keep plodding on and struggle with life. i hope you are ok and keep positive. you take care of you too xxx big hugs back xxxx
Ellie-Bear
28-09-11, 11:02
You poor thing. There's nothing like family upsets to make the anxiety rear its ugly head. I can always be at the end of the computer if you want someone to chat to. I've got 4 daughters so know what a trial it can be!!
Hope your feeling better today?
I went to see the doctor yesterday as really struggling and he wants me to have another go with anti depressants, got a box at home waiting for me to pluck up the courage to take them, just feel I have reached that point where I can't do it on my own anymore :-( Doc wants me to take quarter or half a tab to begin with to see how they effect me.
How long have you suffered this horrible illness for? Mine's been since March this year after a course of steriods which I had a very strange reaction too. I've suffered from depression for years but never with the anxiety and panic. Trying to continue a normal life day to day is nearly impossible sometimes but we just keep on plodding on!
Big hugs. Xxxx
hi ellie, sorry not replied sooner, i tried to cope alone a while! things are ok ish at the moment, but i am still getting palpitations.
i have suffered with panic, anxiety and depression for about 25 yrs :( i have had periods where i find i can cope then boom i am back as bad as before.
i am like you i am feeling i need some extra help again with the meds, but really hate them, and will be hard to pluck up courage to take them. i was recently prescribed citalopram which i chickened out of taking. i will have to go back to docs soon i think, i am not coping at all :'(
i really hope they help you feel better and you brave it out taking them :) i will try too x thanks for replying to me, i dont seem to find alot of support on here :unsure: people dont often answer me :blush:
big hugs to you xx take care of you xx
I wonder if I will just have to learn to deal with this anxiety for the rest of my life. It has come and gone throughout my life, probably since I was a teenager but the last few months it has been at its' worst. My anxiety is like a rollercoaster, up and down. Family upsets set it off too.
I had been off work all Summer and felt ready to go back. The anxiety had calmed down thanks to the betablockers and by pushing myself to get out and about but the week I went back I had some problems with my son which brought that awful feeling back. My GP said it's normal to have these feelings. I guess we just need to learn how to deal with them differently, easier said than done I know!!
Hi Joexgee
It sounds like you have had the run of the mill, and battling so hard against the anxiety in your life.
Maybe is time to try some new paths to recovery, look around your area for some group support, doesnt even mater if its not 100% your symptom related, just network and meet with other people suffering see whats working for them
Have you had xanax or valium for times or days you are finding it really hard?
Have you been getting you anti depressants off a doctor/GP or a proper psychiatrist ? A lot can be tweaked with the meds, and added if they are closely monitored, the regular doctors sometimes are not anyway as good as a psychiatrist who has experience with these medications.
Put the work in again, I know you have tryed and tryed but keep trying , and you will stumble upon a route that will make you better.
I know that doesnt feel even possible now but trust me it is.
Stay strong and God Bless
Tommy
mandshere2000
01-10-11, 15:16
Hiya to all,
Sorry to hear some of you are having a rough time......i,m feeling pretty bad at the moment and i really am not sure i can climb that mountain again.....feel like thats all ive done all my life and just feel the fights gone out of me now:weep: somtimes having suicidal thoughts and that scares me so much.....but just don,t know what to do.
Manda xx
Aw Manda. Sorry to hear you're struggling too. Big hugs. Have you been to see your doc to see if there's any support he can give whilst you're on a dip? x
mandshere2000
01-10-11, 15:33
Hi,
I,m on prozac 40mgs and have been on/off for years......think its just the panic and depersonalisation came back about a month ago and feel its knocked me off my feet......lots of family issues as well and just feel i need some one to talk to whos in the same place or maybe someone whos been there and are now well.
Manda xx
Can you up your tabs a bit to get you through this rough patch? That might help you get back on your feet? x
mandshere2000
01-10-11, 15:53
Hi,
few years back i tried upping them to 60mg but i,m quite sensitive to meds and i felt awful at this dose, so had to go back down to 40mg have even tried few other anti d,s but they did.,nt suit me either so it was back to prozac......and i had cbt about 3 yrs ago but it was group and somtimes 16/17 people in that group....did,nt help me much.....just been offered 1-1 cbt went for initial 1st appointment so they could match me with a therapist, went to see her few weeks ago and i knew i just did,nt click with her she was very abrupt with me, so i did,nt go to next 2 appointments and rang up to ask if i could put them on hold for the moment because i have so much going on in my life re: disabled 13 yr old son who is blind and autistic and has been out of school for a year, they said they would see what they could do......well got letter yesterday to say i,m discharged:ohmy:......buts its known in my area i,m in derbyshire that mental health services are pretty dire, so its what to do next to try and help myself even though i,m so tired of living and my sleep is shocking and has been for years.
Manda xx
Aw you poor thing!
Don't let the mental health services fob you off. You're entitled to 1:1 CBT and they might have just made a mistake (prob not by the sounds of it). I'd make an appointment to see your GP and get them to write to them and get you some 1:1. I'm sure it would help you a lot but you need to see someone who you click with. You are under so much pressure. Don't let them fob you off. Grrr it makes me mad that they can cause so much stress. They're supposed to help!
Are you getting help with your son from the local authority? My son is on the spectrum and I've had to fight for a place at a special school for him. It took it out of me and I'm sure that's why I have become so ill as it's so stressful looking after him and bringing him up. He's 14 and driving me nuts (literally lol) x
mandshere2000
01-10-11, 16:29
Hi,
Thanks so much for replying and being so caring:)
Its been been absolute nightmare fighting the local authority amnd having to go to tribunal to get him to the school hes at now....its not a special school just a small local school with 70 pupils but he cannot even cope with that hence school refusal for a yr.....it was at mainstream primary before this and was out for 10 mnths.......hes been under local CAMHS for 3 yrs now and we never seem to get anyware and just get passed around lots.....he was put on aripiprizole for his meltdowns which are awful and he is very violent and screams the house down for hours at a time even at 3/4am in the night.....and he also takes melatonin to help him sleep but thts never really helped much.....well hes refused all medication now and its 3wks since he had any.......so CAMHS have decided to send referall to a unit about 10 miles from home where he would stop for 2 wks to be properly assessed........because he also only has a small ammount of vision the professionals really don,t know what to do and just call him a complex child.....he is 14 next feb so i also think he also has the teenage hormones playing havoc also......he very rarely leaves his bedroom.....he was only dx with autism 2yrs ago after me being told since he was 2 that his behaviour was down to his vision:mad:......he was also dx with tourettes in dec 10 but now the camhs team are not sure of this dx even though it was dx by one of their own doctor:huh:......oh and his dad walked out when he was 3 because he could,nt cope.....what a total w...ker......sorry such a long post its just when i start i carnt stop:unsure: its just so nice to be able to chat with someone whos in similiar position.
Manda xx
Don't get me started on CAMHS!
PM me anytime if you like. My son's dad hasn't got time for my son either which adds to his frustration and anger. We too have meltdowns. They've been quite bad over the last few weeks. He's wrecked the house and went for my husband. It's soul destroying :( School are being great. They actually came for him last week as he was refusing to go in. I had to go to two tribunals to get him a place. I wiped the floor with the LA at our last hearing lol. Are your local authority doing anything to get him in school? He'll be so mixed up and it's so hard for all of you. Do you use any of the ASD forums? I'll send you a link to the few I use. They have been great!
Definately don't give up on the CBT. And if you want to chat PM me anytime. I really know what you are going through and if I can help I will xx
mandshere2000
01-10-11, 16:45
Hi,
I would really love to have a proper chat with you......feel so happy ive found you cos it does help so much to chat with someone whos in the same place:weep: whens best time for you to chat......are you on yahoo.
Manda xx
Hiya to all,
Sorry to hear some of you are having a rough time......i,m feeling pretty bad at the moment and i really am not sure i can climb that mountain again.....feel like thats all ive done all my life and just feel the fights gone out of me now:weep: somtimes having suicidal thoughts and that scares me so much.....but just don,t know what to do.
Manda xx
Hi manda, I am very sorry you are having a rough time at the moment too, I can totally
Relate to suicidal thoughts too! I would never do anything about these feelings
I just try and keep busy with other thoughts! Hard I know as I am constantly struggling
With depression. I know we are struggling but I know we can climb up that mountain together
with help from others, like your self as your post has helped me knowing I am not alone.
So please take care and feel free to talk to me if you ever need any support.
Hugs xxxxx
---------- Post added at 07:43 ---------- Previous post was at 07:03 ----------
Hi Joexgee
It sounds like you have had the run of the mill, and battling so hard against the anxiety in your life.
Maybe is time to try some new paths to recovery, look around your area for some group support, doesnt even mater if its not 100% your symptom related, just network and meet with other people suffering see whats working for them
Have you had xanax or valium for times or days you are finding it really hard?
Have you been getting you anti depressants off a doctor/GP or a proper psychiatrist ? A lot can be tweaked with the meds, and added if they are closely monitored, the regular doctors sometimes are not anyway as good as a psychiatrist who has experience with these medications.
Put the work in again, I know you have tryed and tryed but keep trying , and you will stumble upon a route that will make you better.
I know that doesnt feel even possible now but trust me it is.
Stay strong and God Bless
Tommy
hi tommy, thanks for taking time to reply to me :)
i have had cbt and a Counselor in the past, i haven't looked for support groups, maybe i should, the only problem is with them is i have massive social phobia and hate to be around alot of people :( i find it hard to get out the house some days.i have been out of work for 4 yrs now because of this :'(
also only ever been on prozac and citalopram, and beta blockers, my gp has never recommended valium or xanax, i am going to force myself back to the doctors and see what i can do this time.
i always put the work in trust me :) thats why i'm still here plodding through. thanks again for your advice xx take care
I'll PM you Manda :)
Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today everyone xx
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