Whenever someone is coming round I freak out

[panicpanda]

I wondered if anyone can relate?

Whenever I know someone's coming round, whether it's my boyfriend, mother, CPN, the tesco delivery man, whoever, I freak myself out completely. I will look out the window long before they're due to come. I pace around my flat for ages and convince myself I cannot deal with it, imagining the worst outcome (me going crazy), and sometimes try to cancel when it's really too late. I don't know how to break this habit and I'm worried it's going to destroy my relationships. I'm already agoraphobic so I can't not let people round as well. I try to distract myself but can never take my mind off it. Once the person gets here I usually have a bit of a wobble, sometimes a full blown panic attack, sometimes burst into tears, but I usually calm down if they stay longer than 20 mins.

I'm really struggling with this, it's making me feel so hopeless.

[pauline]

Hi i really feel for you, i was just the same as you. I just wanted them to come and then i needed to know how long they were going to be there for i was so frightend of having a panic attack while they were there and makeing a fool of myself. I was even worse with my family i did not want them to be worrying about me and also thinking what a nutter i was. It does get better over time, but i just wanted to tell you that its just another part of having anxiety. Perhaps have some rescue rememdy and camomile tea and try and do something else, play a game on your mobile anything to stop you obsessing about whoever is coming to the house.

[panicpanda]

Thanks Pauline. I'll give camomile tea a try, never had it before. It's so frustrating because I want to spend time with people, it's lonely being agoraphobic, but this feeling makes me want to cancel and curl up in bed & cry. I hate my mum seeing me cry or panic but I cannot hold it in. She's coming round later so I've got Tetris at the ready :)

[Eva May]

Hey Panda. I used to be exactly like that and I wouldn't say I'm entirely over it yet either. One big thing to remember is that you are in control of who comes into your house and how long they stay. I always found that thought very helpful because at any time I can say I need you to leave and people understand. I know it's really embarrassing and stressful to know you have to say it, but it's your home and you're in control :)

[Deepest Blue]

Hi Panda :hugs:,

I am the same too. It's even worse when it's in reverse where I get invited to go over their place, I put it off as much as I can until they start to think I don't want to see them or that they've done something wrong which of course isn't ever the case. Slowly over the years I've seemed to have secluded myself more and more and I really don't know how to break out of it. Sometimes I do really force myself to make the effort and thats mainly because I start to feel so guilty that I always turn the invites down. This year alone I have missed out on so many invitations to things.... At first it feels like a sense or relief, then after the event I feel a sense of guilt then a sense of frustration because I am trying to understand what's wrong and why I am constantly avoiding people.

Take Care Panda:hugs:

[MargaretHale]

I'm exactly the same, the worst is the supermarket delivery guy as it's a two hour slot. I get myself so worked up...like you I'm already agoraphobic and don't like shutting myself off from everyone.
x

[panicpanda]

Eva - I think that's the only thing that helps me through it, knowing it's my home and no matter how nuts they may think I am for doing it I could kick them out at any time if I felt that I really can't cope!

Deepest Blue - I know that guilt feeling. I've avoided seeing certain people, including family, because of the anxiety. I feel so bad that this stupid illness is stopping me from seeing them but it's just part of it. Unfortunately they just don't understand sometimes, even when they do the guilt is still there though. :hugs:

Margaret - I have to look out my window until they're here. And I have to have my boyfriend round to help me. I hate it when they're standing watching you unload the trays!

[Littlehelper123]

Hi hun ,

Here is what I would do :

Find something to do - set your day up and set your self tasks. So , wake up , have a shower, make self look nice, go for a jog/walk, go get a magazine from the shops, clean the flat so it looks nice when they come over, make a cake for them, just before they are due round make them a cup of tea or coffee.

Its easier than it sounds trust me. I used to do the same. I just planned my day out completely , made a check list and stuck to it , i ended up forgetting half the time that they were coming round.

By doing things it takes your mind off of it - even if you don't feel like doing these things, make yourself do it because it will then become a habit.

Good luck , hope all goes well

Hannah x