Anxiety about loved ones health

[swgrl09]

I've been really anxious lately about my boyfriend's health. He does not go to the doctor often unless he really is sick. We are both young, 23 and 24 yrs old, so I know it isn't a huge deal for him, but I still worry a lot about it. I express this to him and he just brushes it off and does not go. I also worry a LOT about his moles, he has a ton of moles all over his body and I just want him to see a dermatologist to look over all of them and get rid of any that might be fishy. He won't do that either. He says he keeps track of them, but I don't believe him!! How can I stop worrying about him? I know he is an adult and can make his own choices, but I can't let this go.

[skyisblue]

Hi swgrl,

I suffer from the same thing right now as well. I've always been anxious about the health of my family, especially my mom. Although blood tests would show that her levels are normal, I still worry excessively about bodily things I see from her. Of course, just like your boyfriend, she just brushes it off (I believe she gets annoyed because of my HA as well).

The best thing you can do is talk to your boyfriend about your HA and how you are concerned about his health. They obviously don't know what it's like to have HA!

[mel78]

I also worry about my loved ones - a lot. In fact, when my wife has any minor symptoms, I get as anxious as if I would if I had the symptoms. I would suggest that your boyfriend has a rational view about his own health - if he feels he doesn't need a doctor, especially after you suggest it, then honestly, he probably doesn't - even if this is hard for you to believe! I think this is a feature of HA - the mind latches on to things to worry about.

[bluesparkle]

hi
i have suffered panic/anxiety for many years now and have finally got a grip on it ...apart from ha about other people, those close to me. i do not suffer ha about myself at all.
i always thought i was the only one with this.
im afraid i dont have any advice but its good to know there are others who underastand.
rach
x

[swgrl09]

I think it is scary for me because I cannot control somebody else or if they take care of themselves. I know if I have a problem I will go to a doctor (for my own sanity/peace of mind usually), but my boyfriend just says he knows things are nothing and ignores them. I worry if he is ignoring something that is the odd 1% chance it is not nothing.

[Snoozy]

I have suffered from this too. Shortly after the birth of my first child, I became convinced, and obsessed with the idea, that my husband was seriously ill, and I would be widowed and left to raise our child alone. Ironically, after a couple of years of this......somehow my anxiety transferred to me instead, and I have been battling my own health anxiety every since.

And needless to say, I go into a severe panic when my daughter (now 5) ever mentions any aches, pains or illness.

I don't have any advice for you, but I do want to reassure you that you are not alone.

[skyisblue]

I feel so sad about this. I'm a 21 male and I think my HA is the main reason why I don't want to have a family of my own. I fear that I just might get obsessed with their help and it will break us down eventually :(

[swgrl09]

It should not keep you from having a relationship. I am lucky and my boyfriend, whom I live with, is very understanding and patient with me. It just is so frustrating because I cannot even sit next to him without inspecting parts of his body for anything out of the ordinary. He had a reaction to a tetanus vaccine this summer (and it is obv normal for people to feel a little sick after any vaccine and I know that) and I freaked out. ugh. this is just truly exhausting.