Room for one more

[andy2]

Hi guys. Hope you are all doing well. Wondered if there was room for another nutter on here. I live in Scotland and suffer BIG time from anxiety. Oh my word it's an absolute curse. My anxiety over the last six years has been firmly fixed on insomnia. Holy crap I am terrified of it. It's the most frustrating thing because I am 100% aware that there is nothing to worry about if you don't sleep but my mind refuses to except it and in fact try's with every waking minute to convince me the opposite.
I have lived with this monster for a long time and have long known that it's the old fear of fear thing that's the problem and the whole insomnia chestnut is just a trigger and that if it wasn't insomnia then eventually it would have been something else.
I started off with trazadone but honestly,the doctor might just as well handed me a gun. I then tried mitrazapine which had less S/E but still not ideal. Took that for about 3 years. I decided to stop meds altogether and found that I could sleep easily on just 2 or 3 beers but recently I have been trying really

hard to challenge my thoughts and routines and now I find myself consumed in major anxiety sent first class from hell. Had to go back to docs and he put me on citalopram just today !!!yuck!!!.

Anyway hope that makes sense. Have spent this whole six years never even speaking to one person who shares my phobia. Sooo frustrating. Dam you phobia.

Hope to make some friends here.

All the best

[diane07]

Hi andy2

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Glitterbugs]

Hello :) I am new too! Started Citalopram five days ago (yuck!) and not nice. What side effects are you having?

I have had anxiety in the past but it has reappeared due to a specific event in the past couple of weeks. Also very low in mood and negative. Start counselling tomorrow!

Like you I am aware my worries are pretty irrational but only seem to be able to focus on the negative and blow it out of all proportion (and ignore the positive!) Brill eh?! xx

[andy2]

Oh yes it's a right buzz. It's just my first day on them but I have been knocked for six. Feel a bit sick and spaced out. How do you find them?

[Glitterbugs]

Well I took 20mg as that was what was prescribed. jaw clenched, anxious, heart racing, felt sick, awful pains in my thighs and spent a night pretty much awake feeling hot and cold and fidgety! When I did nod off I had weird dreams...really vivid and strange.

I saw GP again and they have advised try 10mg for a couple of weeks so that my body gets used to it. I still have symptoms but they are managable. Clenching jaw and aches in legs (but milder than before) main problems but also feel quite low and spaced (detached?) at times. My GP prescribed short term Diazepam too and this helps with the side effects a bit. Sleeping better now :)

I know quite a few people on this and have a friend who is a GP who has supported me with this and all this is normal but worth it if you get through it as it helps immensely for most.

What dose are you on? Hope you feel better soon with it all. x

[andy2]

Thanks. Doc started me on 20mg but I might cut it down the morn. I seriously hate meds mate. Just legalised poison but not had much choice. Really hope they help me cause it sometimes feels like the end of the line.

[Glitterbugs]

I know it is horrible to have to take them but so many people are on Citalopram...my GP mate reckoned that from her experience she would say 30% of the playground at school pickup are probably taking the stuff :)

I hate having to take it too but I want to feel better and have had such positive feedback from people taking it that if you can get through the first bit it really helps but it takes commitment to get there.

10mg might be better for you - 20 seriously freaked me and this is so much easier to deal with. Day 5 now so I keep telling myself every day is a day towards hopefully feeling better.

There can be some pretty lonely moments when you feel like this - that's why I decided to join and try to get support from people who know what it feels like. My partner reassures me he loves me and will see this through with me but he doesn't 100% understand because he has never experienced it. He just says please don't worry...all will be fine, I love you (a lot of my anxiety is relationship based due to horrible and abusive ex husband),

I think sharing it is good and it sounds like you have bottled it all up for far too long. Hugs..and try to stick with the Citalopram as I know at least 6 people who say it has been life changing for them. xxx

[andy2]

Thank you very much. Your ex sounds like a right ****. Think hard times are easier when you have people to share them with. Take care and hopefully speak soon x

[Glitterbugs]

He is a right **** and some! But I am determined to overcome the damage he did and not let him spoil any more for me :)

You take care too and sure we will speak soon. Let me know how you get on with the Citalopram...and I will keep you posted on how I get on :) xxx