Grieving & GAD

[eva82]

Hi Everyone!

Yesterday I found out that my grandfather passed away...it happened very suddenly and he seemed to be in good health (for an 85 year old) so it came as a shock to me and my family. I have had generalized anxiety and panic disorder for almost 3 years now and ive never had to deal with this kind of loss on top of trying to cope with my disorders that can be debilitating at times.

I would love to hear from anyone that had to deal with the death of a loved one while managing their anxiety at the same time. I go from feeling numb to crying like a baby. He was like a father to me and I am having a hard time imaging my life without him. :weep:

[Akathisia]

Sorry..RIP x

[paula lynne]

Hi there. Im sorry for your loss. We are never ready to let them go are we, its never a good time for us. I lost my mum 2 years ago when my panic, anxiety and agoraphobia were pretty bad.

After drinking a bottle of vodka and laying in bed for 2 days, I realised I had to let the hurt in to be able to heal. Sounds corny, but its true. Blocking it out is never the answer.

Ok, get some fresh air everyday, even for half an hour.
Eat little and often.
Make sure you take any meds you are prescribed.
TALK to friends and family about him, your memories. Remember, crying is good for you.
Get plenty of rest.
Dont rely on alcohol or drugs, they will eventually make you feel so ill you will regret it.
Its NORMAL for your anxiety to go up now, and as a result, any symptoms or sensations you were already having will probably feel worse for a time. Remember, this is part of the grieving process, you will get through it.
Remind yourself that this too shall pass.

Im sorry for your loss. I thought my world would collapse when my mum died. We were very close and she was one in a million. I didnt want to go on.
But I did. And so will you.
Sending you hugs :hugs:
Take care of yourself x
Paula x

[suzy-sue]

So sorry for your loss ..I cant really add more than Paulas said .Take the time to grieve and remember the good things /times you had with your Grandfather .May they bring you comfort .:hugs:Luv Sue x

[eva82]

Thank you so much for your replies. I have been a mess today, but I am trying to take comfort in knowing that I was so lucky to have him in my life for as long as I did. I am trying to be strong for my daughter but the sadness can be overwhelming. Paula, you especially really helped me today and I am so sorry for the loss of your mom... I can tell she must have been such a special woman who had a great influence in your life. Take care everyone...hugs to all.

[paula lynne]

Youre welcome. Take each day as it comes. Let the feelings in. Breaking down only makes you stronger in the end. You WILL get through this. Rely on family and friends. Be gentle on yourself. Please let us know how you are getting on xxx
Paula xxx

[happycamper]

Hi there. I'm very sorry for your loss.
My dad died suddenly in July and the numbness and disbelief lasted for a few weeks. I too wondered how I'd cope after trying to make some sort of recovery from anxiety for the previous year+. In my experience the feelings of grief are quite different to those of GAD. Somehow I've still managed to eat, whereas while at the peak of anxiety I completely lost my appetite.
What I have learned through it all are the feelings are the strongest I've ever felt in my life and in the early days/weeks they are so consuming, in fact the anxiety I'd experienced previously took a back seat...it didn't seem to matter anymore. Though however you feel on each hour and day, that's how you're feeling, go with it, it's normal and shouldn't be bypassed. It's horrid and sometimes unbearable, but also give yourself TLC, as Paula said, ensure you get rest and time and space for yourself...difficult initially as you feel like you're just supporting other people, but the quiet times give you the opportunity to reflect and go through your own personal grieving.

[eva82]

Paula, I've been taking your advice and although the pain is still very strong and overwhelming at times, I do feel a little bit better with each passing day. I spent most of the day going through pictures for a slide show we are preparing for the memorial service. It was a very therapeutic experience and he really did have a wonderful and long life. In every picture of him, he always has such a big smile and he really did live his life to the fullest. He was also a very brave and strong man and I hope that I van one day overcome my anxiety disorder and begin enjoying life again.

Happycamper, I am very sorry for the loss of your father. You are right-it's those quiet times that I can reflect and really grieve. I usually feel much better afterwards. Thanks again to everyone who replied...your words of support and encouragement are much needed and appreciated at this time!

[Littlehelper123]

Hiya, I have GAD and I have lost two members of my family. I lost my grandpa a few weeks ago - he was 82 and had lung cancer. And then in 2007 my Brother was killed in a motorbike accident which actually is the cause of my GAD. Grieving is horrible - you get the 5 stages which is :

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I am at stage 4 right now. It takes time. You never get over the death however you learn to accept it.

You'll be okay - I was 12 at the time so I was having to deal with growing up and asking questions and what not because I didn't understand it then. My 5 stages started late because I was too young.

Keep your head held high - your Grandpa is watching over you and protecting you. He is still with you and always will be.

God bless xxx