enchanted
29-09-11, 19:26
Hello everyone,
11 years ago I was a very confident driver and regularly went up and down the motorway to visit family etc. One day in the outside lane of the motorway with my friend and two babies in the back (one of them my 6 month old son) I attempted to over take a huge lorry and the driver desided to play cat and mouse with me. He sped up so I couldn't pass him and then he started to veer to my side pretending to nudge me. I tried hard to pass him then suddenly realised I was doing about 90mph (far too fast for me) eventually I got past and moved into the middle lane - dangerously to the sound of his manlihood and horn. I didnt feel too well and told my friend that I thought something had gone wrong with my vision. Months later on the same road with my husband I attempted to pass another lorry and had the same sensation resulting in me breaking in the outside lane. My husband told me that he thought I had just had a panic attack - he was right. These attacks have continued to plague me on and off over the years - especially when I moved to the country and driving was a must. A couple of years ago I saw a Clinical Psychologist who did a combination of CBT and something else - I have driven well on the direct route to work ever since. Then suddenly about two months ago I had a panic attack on the road and it's been hell ever since. I am even struggling on my 'safe' route - breaking constantly - afraid of what is behind me and stopping regularly. My right arm appears to pull me into on coming traffic and I have to break whilst struggling for breath - sweaty palms - palpitations and an overwhelming fear.
Please help if I stop driving I will be unemployed and isolated - I am on 40mg of Citalapram and have been for years. Why oh why does this problem cause me so much shame? I dont want to tell anyone about it coz mention only makes me worse - please hel
Enchanted but shattered and desperate x
11 years ago I was a very confident driver and regularly went up and down the motorway to visit family etc. One day in the outside lane of the motorway with my friend and two babies in the back (one of them my 6 month old son) I attempted to over take a huge lorry and the driver desided to play cat and mouse with me. He sped up so I couldn't pass him and then he started to veer to my side pretending to nudge me. I tried hard to pass him then suddenly realised I was doing about 90mph (far too fast for me) eventually I got past and moved into the middle lane - dangerously to the sound of his manlihood and horn. I didnt feel too well and told my friend that I thought something had gone wrong with my vision. Months later on the same road with my husband I attempted to pass another lorry and had the same sensation resulting in me breaking in the outside lane. My husband told me that he thought I had just had a panic attack - he was right. These attacks have continued to plague me on and off over the years - especially when I moved to the country and driving was a must. A couple of years ago I saw a Clinical Psychologist who did a combination of CBT and something else - I have driven well on the direct route to work ever since. Then suddenly about two months ago I had a panic attack on the road and it's been hell ever since. I am even struggling on my 'safe' route - breaking constantly - afraid of what is behind me and stopping regularly. My right arm appears to pull me into on coming traffic and I have to break whilst struggling for breath - sweaty palms - palpitations and an overwhelming fear.
Please help if I stop driving I will be unemployed and isolated - I am on 40mg of Citalapram and have been for years. Why oh why does this problem cause me so much shame? I dont want to tell anyone about it coz mention only makes me worse - please hel
Enchanted but shattered and desperate x