haziefantasie
30-09-11, 19:30
Hi everyone
Ive had 6 sessions with my counsellor now & he hasnt mentioned it ending so Im assuming it will continue for as long as necessary (it is through the nhs but I referred myself for it). However Im not sure how effective it is. Its helped me to talk about things that are bothering me & he has made me think more clearly but the problem is I dont think its going to get me any further. My main issues are the fact that I hate myself, I dont feel like I deserve to be happy & that I dont know how to cope with certain situations, & it all seems to link back to being abused both as a child & as an adult. Hes helped me realise this but its brought me down to rock bottom, & nobody seems to know how to change it & lift me back up. Ive done cbt before but although I can think in my head that Im thinking irrational thoughts etc I just dont feel it. The counsellor even said last week that he thinks Ill have a 'lightbulb moment' & realise Im not so bad after all but if thats the case then what do I do in the meantime?! I increased my meds again 3 weeks ago which Im hoping will help but Im very aware that I cant just rely on meds to sort me out long term.
When I saw my gp last week he was going to refer me to the community mental health team but couldnt as Im already having this counselling. So should I go back & say Ill finish the counselling so I can see what else is available? But if theres a waiting list I couldnt cope with having no support at all :weep: I just dont know what to do for the best.
Im sorry for the essay, didnt realise it would be this long x
Ive had 6 sessions with my counsellor now & he hasnt mentioned it ending so Im assuming it will continue for as long as necessary (it is through the nhs but I referred myself for it). However Im not sure how effective it is. Its helped me to talk about things that are bothering me & he has made me think more clearly but the problem is I dont think its going to get me any further. My main issues are the fact that I hate myself, I dont feel like I deserve to be happy & that I dont know how to cope with certain situations, & it all seems to link back to being abused both as a child & as an adult. Hes helped me realise this but its brought me down to rock bottom, & nobody seems to know how to change it & lift me back up. Ive done cbt before but although I can think in my head that Im thinking irrational thoughts etc I just dont feel it. The counsellor even said last week that he thinks Ill have a 'lightbulb moment' & realise Im not so bad after all but if thats the case then what do I do in the meantime?! I increased my meds again 3 weeks ago which Im hoping will help but Im very aware that I cant just rely on meds to sort me out long term.
When I saw my gp last week he was going to refer me to the community mental health team but couldnt as Im already having this counselling. So should I go back & say Ill finish the counselling so I can see what else is available? But if theres a waiting list I couldnt cope with having no support at all :weep: I just dont know what to do for the best.
Im sorry for the essay, didnt realise it would be this long x