Looking for some advise and support

[AnxiousMummy]

:weep: Hello all - Sorry this is a long one

sorry for the the post i know i have posted before but im really worried and could do with some advice ... this is all pretty new to me this health anxiety started 9 weeks ago im getting really scared there is something going on in my head.

Well i have posted my tumor or brain cancer fears before but i just wonder if all the symptoms im having a really anxiety.


started getting headaches after my lil boy was born 9 weeks ago the headaches are on and off but always this constant feeling of pressure in my head ... feels like my eye are always out of focus ..feeling out of it like im in a bubble ... finding it reall hard to concentrate

1st went to doctor who said i have post natal depression but i dont feel depressed

i now have started feeling internal tremors down leftarm and legs from calf down and occassional twitches everywhere. my calf muscles and left arm also really aches

in the last 9 weeks i have had a full blood count came back fine with slightly raised infecion marker which doc said was nothing to worry about.

doctor has checked my eyes - i have also had my eyes tested and had pressure test and field of vision test at opticians which came back okay - my doc is a back expert and said that i have muscle knot and tension in my neck from the stress.

i then went to a&E as started to get nausea with all these other symptoms ... they did all the mini neuro test like nose the finder ... follow finger with eyes strength tests on arms and legs ... gave me a shot of stemetil and sent me on my way

So why do i still feel there is something wrong ...Im trying really hard to relax ... i have diazepam which does not really work apart from knock me out so i can sleep.

So fed up am sat here in tears tonight

I think maybe its time to try meds - Just wish i could beleive there is nothing wrong with me ...I WANT MY LIFE BACK ;(

[Chem]

Hi. You don't say if this is your first baby and if you are a single mum or not. I'm sure you must be tired with a newborn to look after. Many of your symptoms could be caused by you being over tired.

How was the birth? Do you feel that you have bonded well with the baby? It's nothing to be ashamed of to admit that you haven't. Some mums take a while to really connect. Are you breast feeding or bottle? If breast feeding, did you feel you had to, or did you want to? Are you comfortable doing it? Are you having enough to eat and drink?

Is there anyone giving you time off from baby care? You're still a person in your own right and you do need some "me time". A pampering time with a long hot bath and candles can work wonders, or a couple of hours out with friends.

If you have worries in other areas of your life, they may seem magnified by the responsibility of looking after the baby. Don't forget your hormones are still all over the place and will be for a few more months.

Your Health Visitor would be a good person to talk to. Don't worry how little or silly your concerns might seem, she'll have heard it all before. She's there to look after you as well as the baby.

I hope things feel brighter for you soon.

[swgrl09]

Hi, I don't know if this helps at all but I have had very bad health anxiety for the past 9 months and all of my anxiety is carried in my neck and back. Let me tell you, I have countless knots/muscle spasms and that can really cause a lot of pain, pressure, tension headaches, dizziness, and muscle twitching. My pain originates from my romboids but when anxious, it spreads up across my skull, neck, arms, etc. I would not be surprised if what you are experiencing is muscular like me.

[daisydoo]

Hi. The headaches, dizziness etc sound normal feelings with a newborn and no sleep. I have an 18 month old who still dosent sleep and starts tge day at ridiculous times and i often feel strange, dizzy, head pressure abd sick. I start to panic and try and tell myself its no sleep. My health anxiety really kucked off after the birth. Even though it was there in pregnancy but still not convinced it was anxiety if you know what i mean. I was diagnosed with pnd 5 years ago after my first and docs kept saying i had it again. I get upset and want to shout im not depressed! I have had lots of symptoms and seem to focusing on my abdomen now. But yours certainly sounds like tension. Try talking to your hv. Hows it going with your baby? I have to admire you that he is in a routine so you can think about sleep xx

[AnxiousMummy]

iam a single mum my partner treated me like crap whilst i was pregnant and kicked me out a couple weeks ago

I have bonded with my baby i love him to peices andhave no worries about him - staying with my parents at moment so they help out

I feel selfish worrying more about my health than him just cant shake this feeling that there is something drastically wrong with me

if i think about it this started whilst i was pregnant but got really bad 2 weeks after his birth - his mum died of lung cancer that spread to the brain in january then my 24 year old cousin died a few weeks ago from osophagus cancer all this affected me pretty badly

i have managed to control the panic attacks but just left with this uncontrollable fear my mum has been great but i think now she feels this fear is ridiculous

[daisydoo]

Dont be so hard on yourself you have been through alot. Speak to your gp about yourhealth fears. I bonded with my daughter when i was diagnosed with pnd and looking back i think it was anxiety and nit depression. A very different thing. I always feel guilty i worry about myself mire and we dont do as much as we should. Always afraid i will feel unwell. Have constant fear something is wrong and i will end up lea,ing the children. Our symptoms are very real i know my abdo groin pain is there and cant get rid of the fear. Take care xx

[xfilme]

Do not worry about the tremors/shaking. I developed this sensation for the first time when I fiirst had Health Anxiety. I worried me for the year it was there. Then it dissappeared. Now I find that it comes back whenever I get overly anxious about my health or suffer any minor illness, like a cold even. I think its just your body's way of expressing anxiety. Possibly adrenatline. Though fear not. Its been with me on and off for three years now, and from what I gather, it is just an indicator of stress more than an indicator of a health problem. x

[AnxiousMummy]

thanks everyone for your replies i really appreciate it ... managed to get to sleep last night with out the diazepam ... now i have woken up to a continually twitching left eye lid and my floaters are more noticable in this eye today too

it seems as if we become accepting of our symptoms as anxiety a new one crops up

[Dazza]

Sorry to hear what you are going through... I went through the same thing a couple of years ago, about a year after my healthy anxiety started...

I was getting headaches, blurred vision, lazy right eye (blurred) and also sudden headaches that would make me feel like I was about to pass out... it was all stress..... it sounds like what you are going through..

I was also worried about tumours, but I had eye tests which were normal, blood tests and even and MRI. ....after that, I finally believed it wasn't a tumour, and the symptoms went away.

Good luck with it... I know how hard it is to switch off your mind. xxxx

[Jhcdmom]

Hi, just wanted to tell you that what you are saying sounds like anxiety to me. You have gone through some major life changes and your body and mind need time to adjust! What amount of Diazapam do u take? Maybe if u break in half or quarters, u can take just enough to take the edge off but not go to sleep. That is what I do if I am having a day I can not manage. I am on Zoloft and it helped.

Hope u feel better soon!

[AnxiousMummy]

doc gave me 14 - 5mg tabs to take i take half and still knocks me out ... he offered me that or amytryptiline (spelling nt sure) wondering now if should have taken that

[Jhcdmom]

That seems like a lot, even split in half. I take Ativan which is different, but I only take 1/4 of a .5 mg during the day. Maybe you can check with your doc to see if they come in smaller mg's and then you can try to see what works. Seems like a hassle, but maybe worth it to get you feeling better. I also suggest talking to your doc about whether meds are a right choice for you. I fought taking anything for years, but when I could not even cope to take care of my babies a few months ago I knew I had to do something. I feel better, still ups and downs, but getting there:)

[AnxiousMummy]

im sorry to bother you all again im now wierd pains from the bottom of my left eye that been twithing .... should i go back to the doctors again

[Jhcdmom]

I get that sometimes to. If it's not happening all the time, I would just breathe and try to relax. Try to distract yourself and just talk yourself through the worry.

[AnxiousMummy]

i took a diazepam now feeling a lot calmer ... think gonna make appointment with doc to start on meds tried eveything else ..... thanks to all your replies your support is much appreciated

[Jhcdmom]

I will be here if you need me, keep me posted on what you decide!