"Stalking"..

[ParanoidScotsman]

Hi,Can someome explain to me if THIS was "stalking" as when i think about it i get very ANXIOUS And get very PANICKY and say to my self it was not and i dont consider it to have been "stalking" and when people call me a "stalker" i used to get really miffed but now i'm like"if you say i'm that then i'm that"

Years ago in a foriegn country when they were lots of us there ,i had a fair bit to drink and in this cemetary(we are paying respects to a dead music icon) i ended up what i had considered a argument with this lady who we would both argue, she would walk away a few yards then i'd be like going up to her and saying stuff like asking her to listen to me etc and she would walk away again,ii's go up,she'd walk away ,repeat that a few times and that's what happend pretty much,it was my fault,i'm not proud of my conduct:weep: but i personally called it and defined it as a HUGE argument that i caused but this woman called it "stalking"/"a form of stalking"

And lots of people took "her side" and i was like WTF, i'm guilty of being an ******* but hell stalking to me is following people for weeks and months,waiting outside their work,threatning them etc etc and i never did any of that in this specific situation on that one day,i would never wake up and say and i never thought"i'm going to stalk someone" as that's sick.

If people have criticisms then post them, i'm looking for clarification and "truth" here.

Please Help me.

---------- Post added at 17:02 ---------- Previous post was at 16:21 ----------

I'm a highly emotional,highly sensitive,upfront,blunt guy and i even have trouble going up to woman at times or going to speak to them and i'm thinking"I better not go up and talk or they might think i'm being a stalker" hell ive had lots of people call me a weirdo and creep, and it does hurt me as i never ever would intend to come across as that

[mikewales]

It was a drunken argument, I would forget about it, nothing to do with stalking which is continually hassling someone, spying on them, or following them for a long period

[ParanoidScotsman]

That's what i thought as well, i was drunk she was sober i saw her shortly after that and we argued again and she threatend to slap me!.

I was a right shit:weep::weep:

---------- Post added at 17:15 ---------- Previous post was at 17:10 ----------

It's also like if you argue with someone online you get accused of "Cyberstalking" i mean WTF me and the same lady argued also online and i got accused of "cyberstalking" but she didnt!! i'm the big bad guy! *Rolls Eyes*

[debs71]

I would not consider that stalking at all. :lac:

You were drunk and when we are drunk we all behave in ways we don't when sober, and tend to press on regardless to make a point and clarify things in situations like that, the way we all do when we have had a bit too much booze. Things we would just walk away from and brush off when sober become the biggest issue on earth.

My impression is that she and others threw out the 'stalking' label, but not meaning it literally so please pay it no mind.

True stalkers are full on all the time with the object of their obsession, as Mike said - following them, waiting outside their home, calling them, etc. - and your situation is NOTHING like that, rest assured.

You were NOT a stalker so put that from your mind if you can.:hugs:

[ParanoidScotsman]

I would not consider that stalking at all. :lac:

You were drunk and when we are drunk we all behave in ways we don't when sober, and tend to press on regardless to make a point and clarify things in situations like that, the way we all do when we have had a bit too much booze. Things we would just walk away from and brush off when sober become the biggest issue on earth.

My impression is that she and others threw out the 'stalking' label, but not meaning it literally so please pay it no mind.

True stalkers are full on all the time with the object of their obsession, as Mike said - following them, waiting outside their home, calling them, etc. - and your situation is NOTHING like that, rest assured.

You were NOT a stalker so put that from your mind if you can.:hugs:

Thank You:bighug1:

[suzy-sue]

For someone to use the term STALKER in that situation .Obviously doesnt understand the meaning of the word .You were being annoying ,and argueing .Doesnt make you a stalker .T/c Sue x

[Anxious_gal]

No it's called harassment, in order to it even been considered stalking you would have to do some of the stalking in secret, or randomly turn up at places you know she will be hence pre planned.

I hate when men do that to me, drunk men shouting at you and following you is very scary!
Of course people took her side you were refusing to leave her alone.
Dude some fights are not worth it, you really got too focused on the stalking comment, you continued the argument online! Sometimes you need to walk away.
People will use the word stalking against you and hell it works, it winds you up and drives you crazy but it will only continue to work if you let it get to you.

She tried walking away from the argument but you were hell bent on continuing it, even to the point of taking it online.
You need to be responsible for you own actions here.

Calling you a stalker means she wanted you to leave her alone, I think you have taken the word too literally.

[ParanoidScotsman]

I will cop to the "harressment" label sadly and i was being a dick, thamks for being understanding,just the "stalker" label i think has been thrown at me a lot and a lot people believe t:weep:

[Anxious_gal]

People will FORGET about it eventually....
I broke up /left a friendship once, the girl went around telling everyone how evil I was, the only people that believed it were people who didn't know me too well......... eventually people got over it, I never talked about this girl, but a year later she was still bitching about me, people soon wised up to the fact that girl has issues.
The best way to dismiss rumors is just to be yourself and ignore any bad stuff said about you.
The minute you get defensive people assume you are guilty.
If people get on your case tell them to go look up the definition of stalking and leave it at that.

Don't worry most women won't accuse you of stalking , well not ones who know basic English anyways :)

[ParanoidScotsman]

Thank you:)

My Attitude regarding this now like that is "If you say i'm that then i'm that i'm the bad guy"

Interesting they never point out there bad points....

[M155anthr0p3]

That's not stalking!!
If was just a heated argument babe!!
That's very unfair...

Forget about it and stop worrying

X

[Teaboy2]

Given my extensive knowledge of UK law, it is certainly not stalking and it would not be seen harassment either since that was not your intention. Your intention was simply to put your side of the argument across and not to harass or hassle the woman. Yes you made her feel uncomfortable but she did not have to stop and continue the argument with you, she could just as easliy carried on walking, assuming you had not put your hand on her shoulder of arm to get her to stop and listen (which could be deemed as battery).

The problem is you were in a different country, so the laws there maybe different along with the intepretation of the law. I.e. what conduct amounts to stalking there, maybe different to what conduct amounts as stalking here in the UK.

But the point is, what is your intepretation, did you at the time feel your conduct amounted to stalking? No you didn't nor did you see it amounting to harassment either, as such it was what it was, an argument. Nothing more nothing less. And chances are you did nothing wrong at all and would not be guilty of any offence, well unless you were well and truely drunk an were arrested for being drunk.

So do not worry about it, nothing has come of it, so put it to bed and get on with enjoying your life.

[ParanoidScotsman]

Given my extensive knowledge of UK law, it is certainly not stalking and it would not be seen harassment either since that was not your intention. Your intention was simply to put your side of the argument across and not to harass or hassle the woman. Yes you made her feel uncomfortable but she did not have to stop and continue the argument with you, she could just as easliy carried on walking, assuming you had not put your hand on her shoulder of arm to get her to stop and listen (which could be deemed as battery).

The problem is you were in a different country, so the laws there maybe different along with the intepretation of the law. I.e. what conduct amounts to stalking there, maybe different to what conduct amounts as stalking here in the UK.

But the point is, what is your intepretation, did you at the time feel your conduct amounted to stalking? No you didn't nor did you see it amounting to harassment either, as such it was what it was, an argument. Nothing more nothing less. And chances are you did nothing wrong at all and would not be guilty of any offence, well unless you were well and truely drunk an were arrested for being drunk.

So do not worry about it, nothing has come of it, so put it to bed and get on with enjoying your life.

Thanks everyone for their understanding and advice/thoughts

[Dizzy_Dave]

I think you need to control your temper and if anyone (especially a woman) is walking away from you during a discussion/disagreement, arguement or whatever, that is the person telling you to leave them alone, and you should do. It sounds to me like you bullied her a bit by keep going on and on and letting go of your point of view. I bet you wouldn't have done that if the person was 6'6" and muscular built boxer! You need to chill out, if you're in a discussion and it's not going your way and it gets to the point people have to walk away from you, let them go, that's their right. Count to 50 and walk away, you will feel better for it too! :)

[ParanoidScotsman]

I think you need to control your temper and if anyone (especially a woman) is walking away from you during a discussion/disagreement, arguement or whatever, that is the person telling you to leave them alone, and you should do. It sounds to me like you bullied her a bit by keep going on and on and letting go of your point of view. I bet you wouldn't have done that if the person was 6'6" and muscular built boxer! You need to chill out, if you're in a discussion and it's not going your way and it gets to the point people have to walk away from you, let them go, that's their right. Count to 50 and walk away, you will feel better for it too! :)

I know and as i said i take responsiblity and i said it WAS my fault, not one of my prouder moments in life...

:doh::doh::doh:

[Dizzy_Dave]

I know and as i said i take responsiblity and i said it WAS my fault, not one of my prouder moments in life...

:doh::doh::doh:

Good man :shades:

[ParanoidScotsman]

Good man :shades:

:shades: