Ma Larkin's Rant!!!!

[Ma Larkin]

Have you ever gone through a period in your life when everything seems to go wrong? Last year was the worst of my life, which as you all know ended up with me taking an overdose & only just surviving. I remember getting a text off my best mate New Year's Eve saying "Les, things will be better this year". I wish that were so true. In the space of a few weeks my 5 year old son was left with a broken leg due to a hit & run taxi driver who has never been traced, 2 weeks ago my daughter's boyfriend's mum who was a rep in Spain was killed with a colleague by a drink-driver who was speeding; he got just 3 years in prison and will only do 2 years, last week my youngest daughter (8) fell through a garage roof after a dare went wrong; she was left with 32 superficial wounds & a bloody great big hole in her shin, which the doctors could do nothing with apart from butterfly stitch it & twice this week already she has fallen & ended up back at hospital both times to have her leg patched up again. 2 of my Councillors died, 1 suddenly of a heart attack at just 55, the other after a long battle with cancer, so I had 2 funerals last week, and next week is the funeral of my daughter's boyfriend's mum. My anxiety is through the roof. I've been taking Prozac for about 2 months now & take the odd Diazepam when I need it. The trouble now is after Denice dying (daughter's boyfriends mum, she was only 5 years older than me, she's in the Chapel of Rest at the moment, but her injuries were so terrible that no-one can see her) I keep picturing myself lying in a coffin in the chapel of rest with my eldest daughter sobbing her heart out, I can't move because obviously I'm supposed to be dead, yet I want to reach out & comfort her but I can't. Its really upsetting me, I wake up with hot sweats & just wondered if a death had affected anyone else in a similar way. I keep thinking that I'm going to die prematurely, I'll be 40 this year & have convinced myself that I'm going to die at 39. I'm at my wits end with this. Any words of comfort anyone?

Yours desperately, Les, xxxx

[hayles]

les,

Wha a tough year for you.
No wonder your anxiety is through the roof, but ust remeber that is all it is.....anxiety.

If you dont know all ready (I talk about it a lot) i am getting married in 7 weeks and before xmas my anxiety was horrendus and i had convinced myself that i was not going to make it to the wedding that i was gonna die before.

Now the nearer it gets to the wedding the more stressed i get as i think i am running out of time......I just pray and hope that i am not having premunitions....lol

We are all just a little nuts, but thats what makes us so interesting!!!!!

big hugs and kisses for you it will all be ok.

All the ebst for the funeral!



Hay x

[Daisybun]

Oh Les, what a horrible year you have had I know it's tough for you but hang on in there. It is only natural that we contemplate our own mortality when an awful tragedy happens, so your anxiety is normal at the moment due to all the stress you are under. Try and just take take one day at a time. Yes, I have reacted similarly to a death in the family, and wonder what it would be like, but I know it is not healthy, we have evrything to live for and try to keep the thoughts positive even though it is hard, you are in my thoughts and prayers
Take care

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[Ma Larkin]

Thanks for your kind words. it means a lot to me. I'm just fed up that everything always seems to happen in my life & as a single parent with 3 kids, its a real struggle at times. I've been married twice, my 1st husband electrocuted himself digging some privets up (he cut through the street lighting cable); his heart stopped but a neighbour revived him & he went on to make a full recovery. My 2nd husband fell 30 ft over a bannister at a function where I work & ended up in a coma for a month then months of recovery afterwards, he's still got residual brain injuries & if you saw him you'd think he'd had a stroke, he's 38. His heart also stopped beating when he hit the floor. Its such a shame. People take the mickey if I have a date by saying things like "you don't wanna marry her, she's already killed 2 husbands". I know they are only joking, but it really gets to me sometimes. I told you this was going to be a rant!

Les

[joolsukuk]

hi ,
its no suprise death is on your mind what a rotten time youve had, my heart goes out to you..hun you will still be around after you turn forty..i bet most of us will still think we have something major wrong when we are in our 80's.. give yourself time to grieve for your friends. and as for kids! they are nothing but worry! their bumps and scraps and dares are part of growing up.. i really hope you feel better soon..you know the older we get the more funerals we seem to go its sad but part of life..i dont mean tomake light of their deaths truely.. big hugs xxxxx

jools xx

[Ma Larkin]

You are so right Jools. I used to go to 18th's, 21st's, weddings & christenings. Its all funerals now! It makes it hit home more that I'm not as young as I used to be & wonder if I'll ever grow up, because I'm as mad now as when I was a teenager, if not more lol!!

Les

[joolsukuk]

hi ..yeah me too! youll be ok thinking of you (((((hugs))))

jools xx

[Ma Larkin]

Cheers chick. I'm going out tonight for my best friend's birthday so I'm going to try and forget all the doom & gloom that's happened over the past few weeks, with a little help from a few pints of Carling!!

Les, xxx

[joolsukuk]

you go have a wicked night outxxx

jools xx