NikkiNooNoo
03-10-11, 16:28
Hi all
I'm looking for some advice and ur thoughts on how I'm feeling. A short recap....I'm 26 and have always been someone who worries. Looking back now to when i was young I worried about everything. I felt very shy and uncomfortable in social situations and I remember makin excuses to avoid certain things just because the thoughg of going through with whatever it was was too much, too overwhelming.
Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with depression. Id just come out of a 7 yr relationship with a man, I was tryin to run a 3 bed house by myself, I had finally come out as being gay to my parents and some friends and also just met a woman....I had no direction in life and I just felt in a state of panic 24/7. It got to the point where I would just sit in silence and stare out the window and some days just cry for no reason. Once I got put on the anti depressent pills (sertaline) I felt so bad, I felt ready to kill myself but i.stuck.with it and eventually I got myself together. I noticed that the constant feeling of being worried had gone, the thought of something going wrong had gone and i seemed more able.to enjoy myself in social situations with out the need for drink.
I have come off my meds,about a month ago and at first I felt awful....I felt like I was slipping back into depression. I'd cry at nothin, I had terrible anger and really bad mood swings. Most of that has now past but i feel so anxious again. I feel tense all the time, I can't relax, my concentration is really bad as too is my memory. My anger just flares up so easily which isn't like me. I don't want to see ppl and the feeling of awkwardness has returned when I'm out. I hate walking down the street cos i think ppl are talking about me. I keep worrying about what i say and do and I've started to try and trip my partner up just so we can have a fight, I'm trying to destroy the relationship bcos I worry she doesn't love me and she will leave me eventually.
I work for a dog walking company and I'm currently on a house sit, that's making me feel really anxious cos I'm not at home and I feel something is bound to go wrong. I've found myself planning my day. I have a Rota with times I should be walking each dog but obviously due to traffic etc sometimes I'm early or late and that stresses me out and ill rush if I'm late and i get fixated on being on time. I've started getting the keys ready for the next house before i get there cos i can't stand not being ready. I have an overwhelming urge to plan everything, every last element of my day and everyone else's if I can. My mind is constantly buzzing and noisy, like the white noise u get on tvs. I can't stay asleep all night and i have cold sweats.
Going by all that do i sound like i am suffering with general anxiety disorder? I've not been.to the docs cos i don't want them thinking this is a side effect to not taking my meds any more.
Any help or advice is appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Nik x
I'm looking for some advice and ur thoughts on how I'm feeling. A short recap....I'm 26 and have always been someone who worries. Looking back now to when i was young I worried about everything. I felt very shy and uncomfortable in social situations and I remember makin excuses to avoid certain things just because the thoughg of going through with whatever it was was too much, too overwhelming.
Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with depression. Id just come out of a 7 yr relationship with a man, I was tryin to run a 3 bed house by myself, I had finally come out as being gay to my parents and some friends and also just met a woman....I had no direction in life and I just felt in a state of panic 24/7. It got to the point where I would just sit in silence and stare out the window and some days just cry for no reason. Once I got put on the anti depressent pills (sertaline) I felt so bad, I felt ready to kill myself but i.stuck.with it and eventually I got myself together. I noticed that the constant feeling of being worried had gone, the thought of something going wrong had gone and i seemed more able.to enjoy myself in social situations with out the need for drink.
I have come off my meds,about a month ago and at first I felt awful....I felt like I was slipping back into depression. I'd cry at nothin, I had terrible anger and really bad mood swings. Most of that has now past but i feel so anxious again. I feel tense all the time, I can't relax, my concentration is really bad as too is my memory. My anger just flares up so easily which isn't like me. I don't want to see ppl and the feeling of awkwardness has returned when I'm out. I hate walking down the street cos i think ppl are talking about me. I keep worrying about what i say and do and I've started to try and trip my partner up just so we can have a fight, I'm trying to destroy the relationship bcos I worry she doesn't love me and she will leave me eventually.
I work for a dog walking company and I'm currently on a house sit, that's making me feel really anxious cos I'm not at home and I feel something is bound to go wrong. I've found myself planning my day. I have a Rota with times I should be walking each dog but obviously due to traffic etc sometimes I'm early or late and that stresses me out and ill rush if I'm late and i get fixated on being on time. I've started getting the keys ready for the next house before i get there cos i can't stand not being ready. I have an overwhelming urge to plan everything, every last element of my day and everyone else's if I can. My mind is constantly buzzing and noisy, like the white noise u get on tvs. I can't stay asleep all night and i have cold sweats.
Going by all that do i sound like i am suffering with general anxiety disorder? I've not been.to the docs cos i don't want them thinking this is a side effect to not taking my meds any more.
Any help or advice is appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Nik x