can anyone relate?

[tinkerbelle84]

Hi,

Just wanted to post about my experience on mirtazapine....


A few of you might have read my previous posts about my health anxiety regarding the disease vcjd.this has caused me endless dispair,fear,anxiety and stress,not to mention buckets of tears : (

Anyway I'm still working through this with the support of my mental health crisis team.however I have been on mirtazapine for 6 weeks of various strengths.since beginning on this I have had horrendous depersonalisation which appeared to worsen as the dose was increased under the insistence of the psyciatrist,who was adamant that the meds were not causing it.last week my dose was upped to 45mg added with quetiapine 150mg,which reulted in a trip to a and e as I felt like I wasn't even in control of my body.I can't say if this was a thought or a feeling,but obviously my first fear was that this was the disease.I was terrified.I decided there and then to stop the mirtazapine,which has eased my depersonalisation.

I'm just wondering though why I have this new fear that I feel that I'm going to lose control of my body.I feel that I am just moving withought thinking if that makes sense but i just don't know if Im creating this fear as it kind of matches in with my health anxiety?can anyone relate to my fear that I'm literally going to forget how to move.I know I must sound silly.

X

[Downsouthdevil]

It may be a mixture of your HA and something called somatization... ie- you read lots about a particular thing,,,its ideas consume you , you become extra alert for signs that its happening to you, so your body starts to respond by causing some of the symptoms...It could be you are worried about losing control of your body coz u know that its a symptom of vcjd, not because you actually are losinf contro. ofit.

[hezza19]

I hate doctors really do, my friend supposedly has depression e.t.c and is on all these meds and sleeping tabs and seriously all he does all day is sit inside play xbox, and he gets weirder each day and if he don't get his painkillers hes the most insociable person ever.
In my experience though I only get symptoms of worry if Im in a place I dont like or don't want to be or if im sitting on my own and go into deep thought.
I hope something comes up which will help you

[tinkerbelle84]

Hi,

Thanks for your replies. DownSouth Devil how are you doing now??Any bette?. I am fnding it hard to let go of the fear especially with having my depersonalisation so badly recently.

Sometimes I feel that I'm not the same person as before which fuels my fears even more.

I still get waves of panic and this horrible sinking feeling....

[Downsouthdevil]

Im doing ok thank you... I have managed to to keep myself going, however the more stressed I get, the more symptoms I get, at least I am able to identify that pattern. I have recently been diagnosed with OCD which makes it hard to get over HA as my current compulsion is to read about VCJD- as soon as I read about any symptoms in detail, I start to suffer them. I have been referred to a NEURO, who I am seeing on 28th October, so hopefully the end of this nightmare may be in sight.

The one thing that I take comfort from is that in the 15 or so weeks since this began, I havent got any mentally worse, in fact the memory problems that I noticed at the start on now not apparent to me, and the physical symptoms although ever changing dont seem to be getting worse. I think that if either of us had VCJD, we would be very very ill by now.

My wife and my family have repeatidly told me that they wouldnt know anything was wrong with me, if it was not for me telling them that there was, if I was ill I think they would know and I would by this stage probably not.