Just wanting to offload things of my chest!!

[Hayley1982]

Just wanting to offload, hope it all makes sense. Ok I really like this guy but my anxiety does hold me back and I find myself constantly looking for approval. My family say he will mess u around cos he messed me around when I was 23 and was seeing him. I'm finding it hard to make decisions cos I'm constantly needing approval and reassurance. Whenever we talk he makes me smile. Hope it makes sense. I still find it hard to go places and worry that could cause probs if I did have a relationship cos I'm not the most outgoing girl x

[Anxious_gal]

It's hard, he hurt you before and you are thinking about giving him another chance but yet you seem to hold him up a bit too high, as in you say you seek his approval,
It's never good to give someone that much power over you and your self worth.

If you think you can handle him maybe hurting you again and you feel like you are stable enough to cope if anything goes wrong, then you might as well see what happens if you like him.

I would listen to your friends though sometimes they can see people better than we can, we can become blinded by own love and attraction for someone.

[venusbluejeans]

Totally agree with Mishel, only move forward with him if you are willing to accept that you may get hurt again

Hugs x

[debs71]

I agree with everything Mishel and Venus say.

It sounds a little to me (and maybe I am just being cynical having just broken up with a man like that) that this guy knows how to manipulate you in some way.

Don't go there if you are in any way suspicious that you will end up hurt again.

The trouble is that some men are able to get around us by knowing they make us feel good, make us smile and that we will cave in as soon as place their attentions on us again.

You have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept possibly short term feel-good factor from this guy and end up with possibly long term damage from it, when your self esteem and confidence plummets again, which will make you even more desperate for 'approval' again.

Is it worth it?

Only you know the answer hun. I felt the exact same thing with my ex, and told myself I could overlook the many negatives for the very few positives, but in the end it comes home to roost.

Go in with your eyes wide open only.

Take care.xxx:hugs:

[london]

why do you keep worrying over what people say
i keep telling you dont worry
if you mess up so what but i dont think you will mess up
as you get older your look back your say
wish i had tryed that
now get out there go for it you can do it i know
god bless

[suzy-sue]

Nothing ventured nothing gained ..It doesnt mean because he messed you around once he will do it again necessarily .Maybe hes grown up a bit since then :shrug:..Just be careful .You are the only one that can make the decision .Gd luck Sue x

[Dizzy_Dave]

Just wanting to offload, hope it all makes sense. Ok I really like this guy but my anxiety does hold me back and I find myself constantly looking for approval. My family say he will mess u around cos he messed me around when I was 23 and was seeing him. I'm finding it hard to make decisions cos I'm constantly needing approval and reassurance. Whenever we talk he makes me smile. Hope it makes sense. I still find it hard to go places and worry that could cause probs if I did have a relationship cos I'm not the most outgoing girl x

Try and meet someone who gets panic attacks too, then you can both stay in holding hands watching films together, no need to worry about affairs 'cause both of you are cared of going out alone! :D