A lifetime of worrying

[Kaiser]

Hi all I had been reluctant for some reason to post here maybe because I feel shy or whatever reason but I hope I can find some support here.

I have dealt with separation anxiety and health anxiety for my whole life ranging from feeling totally depressed to uncontrollable rage.

Right now even though I'm satisfied with what I have accomplished (married, job, off the antidepressant, no more separation anxiety) I can't get over the anxiety for my health.

I go to the doctors often and thank god they never find anything bad but its like every time I go to the doctor and something is scratched off the worry list, some new symptom appears the next day.

For ex: Yesterday I went to the dermatologist to check on some moles this one black mole that had been growing got me worried. He dismissed my worries with a great explanation and told me just to keep an eye on it.

Well today everything was fin the suddenly out of the blue I get this cough with phelgm and the phegm looked a bit brown like blood. The past weekend even though I used a mask to avoid dust I inhaled a bit of metal/rust dust from worrking on the body of a classic car and now I'm worried I screwed up my lungs.

I try not to think a lot about the things or symptoms that worry me but they are always so real! I don't know what to do I don't want to screw up my marriage or my job but I just can't be happy anymore.

Do you guys have any advice or insight on this? Have you felt like this is taking your life away too?

I function everyday I work etc etc but why why in the world do I keep getting odd symptoms everyday?

Sorry if it sounds like a rant I'm a bit desperate by now and just wanted to share how I feel.

K.

[swgrl09]

I feel exactly the same. I can function, go to work, etc. That is why my doctor and counselor have suggested that I am ok without medications and people, such as my boyfriend, don't believe how frustrating and exhausting it is. They see me able to go to work, able to function normally, etc and don't understand how tiring it is when you are always finding something new to worry about.

When you said you go to the doctor, scratch something off your list of worries, and then find something else - I could have written that myself. Over the past month I have been/will be to 4 doctors - a dermatologist for one thing, a GP for another, my gyno for something else little that is worrying me, and my dentist! And all for little things that normal people would ignore. And when I can find nothing to worry about on myself, I find something on my boyfriend to worry about.

I am going to a counselor this weekend, as I hadn't been in a while. I have GP who is willing to give me medications if I feel I need it, but she does not think I do ... I am also going to try some CBT and progressive relaxation techniques (I am learning how to do it in school for being a therapist, ironic, huh!!!). I have tried them in the past, also mindfulness meditation, but could not quiet my mind for that enough. It is so hard sometimes.

But you are not alone! There are lots of us here. That has helped me a lot - knowing I am not alone, and venting here. There is a lot of support for you!

---------- Post added at 15:22 ---------- Previous post was at 15:19 ----------

Also I would not worry about the lungs. I used to work at a farm and I would breath in dust every day and my mucus would be brown for a little while after. It is just clearing it out. I mean if you were breathing that stuff in on a daily basis constantly, then maybe it would be worrisome but I am assuming that isn't the case.

[Kaiser]

Thanks a lot for your reply! My worry on the dust was it being possible chemicals like paint and rust/metal but you are right the body does find its way to get rid of nasty stuff. Besides I think that all car shop mechanics/painter would be dead by now if so I guess.

Thanks for sharing It does feel great not feeling alone on this I can say at least for me Clonazepam works charms when I got great deals of anxiety just be careful its addictive.

[mrmuji]

You are certainly not alone. I move from one symptom to the next - but usually within the broad cancer category. I find it is worse if I am stressed or tired but it has been with me over 20 years and has become a part of my life (not a part I am happy with).